David Beckham is Sooo Pretty

After being voted "The World's Most Beautiful Sports Icon" by People magazine, David Beckham issued a press release enlightening the world how he stays so gorgeous.  His wife Victoria "smothers beauty creams on him at bedtime" (ewwww) and he pampers himself with manicures and facials.  After I read the release, I immediately pictured him as a giant Barbie doll head for little girls to play with.

Comments

[Good Wishes]

DAVID BECKHAM IS SUCH AN EXCEPTIONAL ATHLETE!
_____________________
SCANDAL! SCANDAL! SCANDAL!

EMERGENCY! EMERGENCY! EMERGENCY!

George W. Bush continuously criminally stalked Margie Schoedinger to the point that she could not get away from it, and she committed suicide in desperation to escape: he murdered her.

“In her suit, Margie Schoedinger states that George W. Bush committed sexual crimes against her, organized harassment and moral pressure on her, her family members and close relatives and friends. As Schoedinger said, she was strongly recommended to keep her mouth shut. . . . Furthermore, she alleges that George Bush ordered to show pressure on her to the point, when she commits suicide” (blog of drizzten).

“One of those ‘very leasts’ [was] George Bush’s personal complicity in the death (murder to be precise) of my friend Margie Schoedinger in September of 2003. Determining the exact whereabouts and contacts of . . . George Bush on September 21 thru 22, 2003, should be entirely lacking in difficulty” (Leola McConnell—Nevada Progressive Democratic Candidate for U.S. Senate in 2010).

McConnell is correct: Bush applying pressure (continuously criminally stalking Margie Schoedinger) purposefully to force Schoedinger to commit suicide does in fact constitute murder where it culminated in her death.

Bush is a racist hate criminal and hates black people (please feel free to see my “GEORGE W. BUSH IS THE WORST PRESIDENT IN U.S. HISTORY” blog). (Schoedinger was an African-American woman.)

BEWARE: If the president of the United States hates one—for whatever reasons—he can continuously criminally stalk one to the point that one cannot get away from it, and one ultimately commits suicide in desperation to escape. He can murder people in this way.

Bush is getting away with his murder of Schoedinger—with no sheriff, prosecutor, or court willing to uphold the rule of law.

Bush’s method of murdering Schoedinger cannot exist in a vacuum: he must have murdered other people in the same way.

Bush should confess, come out with the names of all of the people whom he murdered in the disgusting way he murdered Schoedinger, undergo execution, and accordingly find himself at the intersection where he would be free.

(There are thousands of copies of the information above on the Internet. It exists very extensively in all major search engines. Please feel free to go to any major search engine, type “George W. Bush continuously criminally stalked Margie Schoedinger to the point that she could not get away from it, and she committed suicide in desperation to escape: he murdered her” or “Bush applying pressure (continuously criminally stalking Margie Schoedinger) purposefully to force Schoedinger to commit suicide does in fact constitute murder where it culminated in her death,” hit “Enter,” and find innumerable results.)
_____________________
Andrew Wang
(a.k.a. “THE DISSEMINATING MACHINE”)
B.S., Summa Cum Laude, 1996
Messiah College, Grantham, PA
Lower Merion High School, Ardmore, PA, 1993

[sabine schwald]

David Beckham is a handsome man.. I´t not a crime if he´s a little bit metrosexuell! I think every man whants to be a little like him.. He´s good in foodball and has a pretty woman and he hasnice kids, and least hes not poor! All in all it´s good that he takes care about himself! Every man should take care about himselfe! This picture is definitly exerggarated!

[Citi]

Hes still hot..even if he resembles a girl. :DDD

[sonam]

well, yea he is very pretty..there's nobody more handsome than him..not even brad pitt

& wat if he likes to pamper himself..everybody likes to pamper themselves.

[ash]

this guy is hands down the most beautiful person man, or woman on earth

[tom eddy]

hahahahah how shit my mum

ahahahah NOT!

[karina]

omg david beckham is THE hottest guy on the oplanet
i would smother cream on him any time
nice website by the way!
HE IS NOT GAY FOR ANY OF U WHO THINK HES HOMO
hes so gorgus

[James boston]

Ha ha, this is the funniest picture of them all! (saw in the Metro).

[Val]

This made me laugh out loud. Saw it in the Metro, London edition. You're famous :-)

[Lynz]

Wow, that pic is awesome!! :D Saw it in the Metro (Scottish newspaper) today... loving it!!

[Bob]

Oh my God, last night I was sucking Red Bull and Ketel One at Elaine's with Zadie Smith and Johnny Depp, and all they could TALK about was this website which was like a work of genius and everything, and I'm like, HELLO, what are you talking about, and they gave me this snarky look, like, Whatever, but then I'm like, WHAT website?!? And their like, You don't have to be such a dick, and I'm like, Okay, and anyway it was THIS website, Carnival of the Absurd. I LOVE this website! The artwork is so well done and detailed, and really LOOKS like these guys! This one here is totally killer and talk about bend it like Beckham -- you sure did!!! It's so good it's scary!!!!

[Amers]

Totally hilarious!!! :)

Keep the great work coming!!! (I want to leave a comment on all of these because they are all so great, but I'll spare you of that - you have got to be so busy with all of the tomfoolery in Hollywood (and abroad)!

You are so talented!!!
Amers in Holland

great idea, very well executed. but really, Beckham is fine as all hell ..mmmmm, long-haired athletes...

[Long Island Irish]

Oh my god that is brillant! You should send that idea to a toy company, they would probably buy it in a minute! It's amazing how vain that man is. He looks like a seven year old girl with his hair long like that. Seriously guys, crew cuts are 100% sexier.

[Ben]

LOL, that's amazing. You rock. Your link's gonna appear on my site...not that anyone visits it...

[girlie]

lol he's really Pwetty yea

[Allie]

But he is pretty, isn't he?

[JJ]

Oh this just made me laugh out loud and I am not easily moved to such measures! :)

To call this brilliant would be a woeful understatement.

[Solipsistic Halo]

I wonder if he was in a dark alley, and his pampered man ass(his actually ass now) hopped out from behind a garbage can and sexually suggested he "stick it deep with his United Manchester."would he actually do it?

[fabian]

poofta he is poofta!

[TSB]

Hahhahaha awesome picture. Metro is the new gay. Posh might want to keep an eye on her little Narcissus...

[kumzooloo]

Ahhhh HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Man this one cracks me up every time.
Genious.

[Mo]

Can't help it----Becks is THEE hottest metrosexual on the planet. I'd LOVE to slather beauty cream on his mug anytime!

[Keedee]

Gotta love that Metrosexual Mist!!!