I was flipping through In Touch magazine and came across a photo of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes that gave me the willies...so of course I had to paint it immediately. The accompanying article speculated whether they were really in love or if this was just another Hollywood publicity stunt. Truly an enigmatic riddle to contemplate for hours upon hours. UPDATE: The riddle is solved - they're engaged. I shall paint their wedding portrait immediately.


Strange. Tom in this picture is exactly as Elron described Xenu. Are you an SP? Are you?! I need my vitamins.
Posted by: joey | June 18, 2005 at 01:09 PM
Tom is like one In Touch cover away from being the new Michael Jackson. How many nosedives can our A List suffer from similar malady?
Posted by: Thomas | June 18, 2005 at 12:43 PM
Awesome! You are fantastic...you should write a book.
Posted by: Carrie | June 18, 2005 at 07:24 AM
I just discovered your site and had to look at all of the pictures right away. As all the comments say, you are fantastic! I can't believe you are giving this away, people as talented as you are should be published. I can't decide which was funnier, but I nearly wet myself when I saw the Olsen Twins and Star "Ursula" Jones!
Posted by: Christie | June 17, 2005 at 09:08 PM
Madness I tell you! madness. (Shameless ‘Friends’ rip off, so unoriginal I am)
Posted by: Sweet Pea | June 17, 2005 at 08:29 PM
Ick. The madness continues unabated. But I must say I truly enjoyed the horned Cruise of your painting!
Gabriel
Feel the pain at
http://www.WearingTheseChains.com
Posted by: Gabriel | June 17, 2005 at 05:50 PM
Her glazed, slightly bovine, it's-too-late-for-me-to-back-out-now eyes; his smarmy, lugubrious grin;the atmosphere of cynical soul-selling publicity-sucking calculation (and bearding) wafting around this whole union; you've captured it all. This illo is so fucking perfect...
If I loved humanity as much as I detest Tom Cruise, I'd make Mother Teresa look like Adolf fucking Hitler; that's how deep my hatred of this mediocre little smarmoid runs. Why do good directors continue to hire him? Why do otherwise sensible women (and men) find his fratboy rodent visage so hot?!? News Flash, world--the Li'l Emperor HAS NO FUCKING CLOTHES!
In every post-'Tom-Kat' (there's a phrase that makes me wanna pound someone with a 2 x 4 big time)interview and photo, Katie Holmes looks like a frightened fawn. Or like the nice girl who's too sheepish to own up to the fact that the guy she's dating is a goddamn lunatic, and SHE SHOULD RUN LIKE FUCK THE OTHER WAY. As an actress and in general,Katie's just bland beige wallpaper to these jaded eyes. But she deserves better than Grinning Rubber-Room-Ready Scientology Midget Devil Boy.
Thank you, dear 14, for your invaluable public service.
Posted by: Viper Tetsu | June 17, 2005 at 05:18 PM
I saw the new Batman movie the other night, and Katie Holmes was giving Batman some dumbfuck self-righteous lecture about some stupid fucking thing, and all I could think was, "Get off your high horse, bitch, you're bearding Tom Cruise." Also, "She has really nice breasts." She spends a lot of time on her back in that movie, which really shaped her rack nicely. Someone told me her breasts were fake -- is that true? Fucking Scientology. Why don't they call it Religionology or something equally as retarded. Anyway, Batman totally rocked. Cillian Murphy as the Scarecrow is far hotter than Katie will ever be. And to think I was feeling protective of her. You fucked up, Katie. Real bad.
Posted by: Use Once & Destroy | June 17, 2005 at 02:51 PM
http://misanthropic_circle.blogs.com/the_misanthropic_circle/
Posted by: | June 17, 2005 at 02:41 PM
LOVE the devil tail subtly posed to imply Ms. Holmes' imminent violation.
Posted by: Marina | June 17, 2005 at 02:34 PM
I saw Katie at Balthazar in NYC about a month before Tom kidnapped her. I mention this because she was drinking wine, and now the girl probably can't even have a drink or else her weird scientologist assistant will stuff her in a sauna to sweat out the toxins. What happened to our sweet little JOey?
Posted by: Maggie | June 17, 2005 at 01:08 PM
Hey, they're engaged now! Yikes :-\
Posted by: Sammie | June 17, 2005 at 12:49 PM
Great, as usual! Tom's face reflects all his crazines.
Posted by: LiquidPixel | June 17, 2005 at 10:52 AM
Brilliant!
Posted by: Jeff | June 17, 2005 at 07:52 AM
Wonderful! We just need one of him scaling the Eiffel Tower (shades of "King Kong") with his new finance.
Posted by: Patrick Fitzgerald | June 17, 2005 at 07:36 AM
I remember lovin Tom Cruise in the 80's, the whole Top Gun kissy scene with Kelly McGillis, sigh....
Now he's just seems scarry and dee-ranged. The only thing good/funny about him now is when Ben Stiller does impressions of him.
Poor poor Katie. Run girl.....run like the wind.
Posted by: DonnaJEM | June 17, 2005 at 07:33 AM
I've always hated the way Tom Cruise laughs. Drives me crazy with that evil cackle and scrunched up nose thing goin' on. You captured it beeee-you-tifully! Lurve the picture.....
Posted by: Mo | June 16, 2005 at 09:34 PM
You truly have an eye for detail. Proof: the accurate depiction of Katie's frightening feet.
Posted by: MFG | June 16, 2005 at 08:30 PM
There is so much evil in the world...
Posted by: Knuckles McGillicutty | June 16, 2005 at 03:31 PM
GENIUS!
Posted by: Jess | June 16, 2005 at 03:01 PM
What no Herpes?
Posted by: GRETCHEN | June 16, 2005 at 02:54 PM
humm, aren't devil horns and platform shoes evils that Scientology bans? You captured perfectly Katie's blend of fear and surprise and Tom's crafty craziness.
lynda
hipstercards.com
Posted by: lynda | June 16, 2005 at 02:53 PM