Of all the gossip flying around about Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony, the most pervasive is 1.) J.Lo has a sizable caboose and 2.) Marc Anthony is scary looking. There is also speculation Marc is a "control freak". Tabloids publish the observations of "body language experts" who claim that because Jen follows behind him, he is showing the world he's the one in control. Apparently, he also tells her what to wear and flies into a jealous rage when she speaks to her leading men between shooting scenes on her movie set. Antonio Banderas beware!
We sent our reporters from Slander Magazine to find out if Marc really is a control freak. We're not sure how they were able to acquire this touching love letter that Marc wrote to J.Lo, but we are publishing it and asking questions later.
I can´t stop laughing at the bat´s on top of marc´s head .... ha ha ha ha
Posted by: Eva | January 26, 2007 at 10:35 AM
why is it this woman can't be with out a man for a second and why is it the media doesn't call her cheater wich she 's look at her dating habits she always starts new relatoinshib while she's in a one like cheating her first husband with diddy and cheating diddy with chris jud and cheating chris with ben and cheating ben with mark and i'm sure she will cheat him with the first actor she works with and she stil have the guts to say i'm one man woman one man my ass she's whore cheayer laying bich and she has no talent what so ever.
Posted by: jen anizton | September 04, 2006 at 06:25 AM
You nailed the marc anthony drawing but, not j-ho's because she has a much bulckier butt, and her nose has a weird dent. Please, Please fix this, thanx.
Posted by: liza | September 03, 2006 at 12:22 PM
I love the creepy bird-man chest in the first drawing. Bravo!
Posted by: Jen | March 18, 2006 at 10:09 AM
osea él esta bein , osea esta pasable pero osea como que para ella nadamas no , aparte no creo que duren mucho proque osea las EX de el duran super poquito y todas tiene un super cuerpo osea como que solo busca el cuerpo bonito osea hello y la j.lo tiene un mega but
Posted by: alejandra | March 04, 2006 at 04:01 PM
so talented you are!!! this is great
Posted by: carmen | February 01, 2006 at 11:42 AM
I guess leaving his and family was the turn on for JLo....what was she thinking? Maybe about revenge on Ben?? Another loser!! She must be a loser magnet....she should have been thinking, who would want a scum that could do that, not being flattered by it!! Marc, good voice, but ugly person inside!!
Posted by: HeHe | February 01, 2006 at 10:21 AM
I personal have nothing to say about this couple. I love Marc but J is a mess up woman to get in a relationship but he is just as bad to make a desicion like he did. They are a korny couple.
Posted by: Marlo | September 22, 2005 at 01:56 PM
LOL that is classic. I really like the Valentines day card. As far as relationships go theirs seems to be very "interesting." Next A&E will be doing a reality TV show on them. First "Growing Up Gotti" then "Marc and Jen: A 'Different' Marriage" Those two shows back to back would be great. First the life and times of the family of a highly homicidal mobster then the day to day adventures of two very dysfuntional singers. I can just picture Marc and Jen shopping. If he is really as controlling as the rumors say he is then a day at the supermarket with those two would be enough for an entire Psychiatric conference!
Keep up the good work and thanks for posting my comments. :)
Posted by: Long Island Irish | August 14, 2005 at 06:45 PM
14 you make me sooooooo happy
It feels so validating to see all these celebs for the shell, the veneer that they hope to be taken for. It is so revealing of our culture and you spot it so beautifully.
J-lo is such a c-c-coldie. She has zero warmth. Thank you, for being so great at what you do.
Posted by: andrea | August 08, 2005 at 01:42 PM
Oh!!! I'm just catching up on your latest posts... so my comments are in reverse order...
While I may still be wondering which overexposed pop-icon is best suited to flog the wonders of Polident... I now have the answer to the same question with respect to Preparation H... for there is simply no doubt in my mind that Mr. Lopez would gleefully extoll its virtues as a dark under-eye circle eradicant... HE JUST NEEDS TO BE TOLD.
Posted by: Manuela | August 07, 2005 at 07:19 PM
brilliant!
i think it is all spot on except J.Lo's ass is too small. it is waaayy bigger than that. my dad thought she was handicapped when he first saw it...it's really enormous & low.
Posted by: gia | August 07, 2005 at 06:08 PM
You captured them impeccably! Yech - that had to be a no-pain-no-gain situation.
Thanks for suffering for your art!
Posted by: Ren | August 05, 2005 at 02:20 PM
Once again, pure magnificence! After I finish laffing, I will go to bed and have very traumatic nightmares. The li'l spit curls 'round Marc's ears are exquisitely icky. And you've captured J-Lo-I-Q's complete intellectual void with your poison pen(cil).
Everyone's on the ball with the zombie metaphors. Funny no one's mentioned the whole oily chihuahua vibe that Marc's got goin' on. Because you nailed that, as well as the corpse-like patina.
Oily Zombie Chihuahua. Yeah, that covers it. Just remember, he's not REALLY dead...only his career is.
Posted by: Viper Tetsu | August 04, 2005 at 10:36 PM
Ahhhh yes. Sweat 'n' Lo. The fakest of fake sugars ever. Nifty!
Posted by: Jodi | August 04, 2005 at 05:05 PM
Deliciously evil. Thank you.
Posted by: Madame M | August 04, 2005 at 03:39 PM
Maybe their relationship is a purely universal karmic thing, he's got huge horse teeth and shes got a rather large horsey butt.
You know if they were merged into one person they'd probably look like Julia Roberts?
Posted by: Damien | August 04, 2005 at 03:27 PM
marc is a freakin' dwarf. if we tried to control me, I'd throw him off a bridge.
Posted by: Dawn (webmiztris) | August 04, 2005 at 03:16 PM
Is that bat shít on the banner? LOL Mark looks a little too heavy in that drawing, though. Not quite enough like a mummy.
Posted by: conguera | August 04, 2005 at 10:41 AM
ooops! I just commented on Katie what I though I was writing here...great job 14! As always...very witty title :) What's the deal with Marc anyway? I can't believe they've lasted this long...there is nothing attractive about the man.
love,
elisa
Posted by: elisa | August 04, 2005 at 07:47 AM
haha...love the title!!! Keep it up sugar :)
love,
elisa
Posted by: Elisa | August 04, 2005 at 07:45 AM
This is friggen hilarious.
I love how you gave him the weird baggy crotch. I guess they don't make suits for grown-ups in size zero. As much as I can't stand her, at least she always look glamorous. But he looks like he just left an un-air conditioned, latino/shotgun wedding, greasy and sweaty.
Gross.
Posted by: DonnaJEM | August 04, 2005 at 07:27 AM
Brrraaaaiiins!!!
Posted by: Use Once & Destroy | August 03, 2005 at 11:07 PM
Oh my. That Hollywood Rag was a little hard on Mark A..don't you think? Although...no right to feel sorry for him..he DID marry J-LOW.
If you can't leash the dog you buy... than let the dog chew their leash off. I give about three more chews. Mark A in a rage of jealousy will flick the finger bearing his wedding ring at J-Bitch..causing a black eye. These turn of events will lead to a law suit, and the end of Mark A's career, and the beginning of "Banderlow"
GAG
Thanks 14:)
Another Masterpiece!!
Posted by: me again | August 03, 2005 at 10:58 PM
The ass is right on target. It is huger than mine, which is a very scary thing. He is freaky looking indeed. Love the bats. Great job as always.
Posted by: Ilsa | August 03, 2005 at 10:38 PM
Such a fabulous picture! You are a genius. I never liked Jennifer Lopez. Her arrogance, her vanity, not to mention her disregard for the furry little creatures who have had to die a horrible death so that bitch can wear fur! The truckloads of fur she put into her "Sweet Face"clothing line which can only be described as "Pimp Daddy and Sherlock Holmes" mix up each other's clothing and put it on. She deserves a Nazi, Latino Zombie! I hope she has to prepare his celery and rice every night! I feel better now.
So much love,
Demon Kitty
Posted by: Demon Kitty | August 03, 2005 at 09:28 PM
Hah! The Valentine finished me off. Brilliant!
Posted by: ktb | August 03, 2005 at 08:25 PM
I just love the frozen, vacant look on her face! And he just gets scarier looking every day. Whatever attracts these women to him??
Posted by: Christi | August 03, 2005 at 07:12 PM
That is the scariest thing I have seen in a long while. First Britney's vacant glazed stare, now "Night of the Undead Latin Pop Stars". I'm only surprised you made J. L. look so sane...
Thumbs way up...
Posted by: Cracky | August 03, 2005 at 06:29 PM
You are just too good!!! This was too funny!!
Posted by: Keedee | August 03, 2005 at 05:34 PM
Gah, what a couple of tools!
Marc is a zombie, clearly. Um, zombies don't eat food, they eat BRAINS! I think he ate hers long ago.
Posted by: Karla | August 03, 2005 at 02:41 PM
There was a very funny clip I saw on "The Soup" a few weeks ago where J-Lo brought her personal chef to the Ellen DeGeneris show.
Ellen asked "Do you cook much?"
"Oh, now and then..."
"What is Marc Anthony's favorite food?"
[Awkward silence] "Oh, um... he's not much of an eater..."
Wow, what a fun relationship that must be!
Posted by: Patrick Fitzgerald | August 03, 2005 at 02:30 PM