After considering all the comments and emails telling me that I painted Paris Hilton looking too pretty, I decided to drink a bit of wine late into the night and paint Ms. Hilton how she really looks to me. She's so blonde and tall and seems to find herself very interesting and
beautiful as she slithers from party to party with various members of
her entourage. I woke up the next morning, popped a few aspirin, and
looked at my Paris painting and cringed at what wine and crayons can produce. I wasn't going to
post it, but thought it would make a nice intro to my upcoming Halloween Special. Starting Monday, Oct 24th, I'll be posting a terrifying celebrity every day until Halloween.
BWAAAAAA HAAAAAA!!!!
Looks like you captured her perfectly!!
Posted by: me again | October 21, 2005 at 05:01 PM
wicked!! looks like a candid picture ll
Posted by: nikki | October 21, 2005 at 05:25 PM
Wow! Now that's Paris. She has that weird way of posing. I mean, people just don't stand that way normally. Ah, but who said Paris is normal?
Once again, brilliant. I'll be looking forward to the scary celebs.
Posted by: Liz | October 21, 2005 at 05:43 PM
14, you are fantastic as always.
I look forward to seeing all the Halloween ghouls and hobgoblins.
Now that's a TREAT. Also, the Paris thing that irritates me, is how she arches her back, thrusting her hips forward all the time. That "strike a pose" thing she always defaults to. Her eyes are there but not there. No spark, nothin'.
She bores me, but YOU make her fun again.
Posted by: Andrea | October 21, 2005 at 05:57 PM
If wine gives us this very accurate rendering...I'll send you some. Any suggestions?
Posted by: Morrigan | October 21, 2005 at 06:18 PM
That is so her!!!! Crayon is the perfect medium for her too!!!
Posted by: Nate | October 21, 2005 at 06:44 PM
That is my favorite drawing on this entire blog (although "Me So Pretty" David Beckham was classic).
I can't wait until the 24th! Every day until Hallowen I will be very busy checking out this website.
Keep up the good work. :)
Posted by: Long Island Irish | October 21, 2005 at 07:10 PM
The cringes are a natural reaction. Everyone should cringe when looking at Paris Hilton.
Posted by: Jilli | October 21, 2005 at 07:13 PM
Oh Yes!! Wonderful again, 14. That funny little head tilt on top of that long neck with her eyes cut to the side is perfect. This is the only kind of publicity she should get!
Posted by: Christi | October 21, 2005 at 07:17 PM
Worm or snake? Could be both.
Posted by: Redhand | October 21, 2005 at 08:17 PM
Paris' face in that pink cloud resembles my Uncle Ellis. I just had a catty revelation: Paris is not going to age well.
I really think the bitch looks heinous. I can imagine this tall, skinny, boney big hands and big ass feet 80 year old broad with shriveled up eyes (that one lazy eye is really going to be a problem for her, could it be a glass eye?). Her pointy nose is going to get bigger or longer or both or whatever. She will be hatchet faced. She'll probably get the botox and plastic surgery, but we all know it makes you look shittier. Could I be anymore evil and horrible? I can't be evil enough. Anyone as arrogant as Paris Hilton deserves to be a scapegoat.
Oh, and she said the "N" word too. That justifies any bitchiness that comes her way.
So Much Love,
Demon Kitty
Posted by: Demon Kitty | October 21, 2005 at 11:17 PM
ahhh...wine. i'm having some right now and wondering why am i slightly addicted to this site. why do we crave the ridicule of those in the limelight? why do we care? why do you care enough to utilize/spend(t)/waste your - no denying it - brilliant ability - to draw them? why is it a thrill that unnamed others find this daddy's riches/socialite/slut/vacant hip thrusting doll/celebrity(?!) just as aggravating? why am i/we reduced to this?
oh, and please for the love of god do not stop, i can’t wait for the Halloween lineup.
Posted by: | October 22, 2005 at 12:28 AM
Hehe man keeep it up your awesome!
Posted by: Safa | October 22, 2005 at 01:35 AM
As an American artist this can't have been intentional, but being British myself I can't help noticing a resemblance between Paris and a £ (pound) sign - our currency symbol. Seems very appropriate to me...
Posted by: Stephen | October 22, 2005 at 05:13 AM
You are so awesome! I can't wait to see your Halloween art. I'm glad that this site has brought you new opportunities because you deserve them!
Posted by: corpse bride | October 22, 2005 at 09:59 AM
Wonderful! I absolutely love your artwork!!! I have to agree 150% with the post by Corpse Bride - you deserve all of this extra work because you do such a fantastic job!
Keep up the great work! :)
Amers in Holland
Posted by: Amers | October 23, 2005 at 12:01 PM
If Jude Law were a trouser snake, could one suggest that Paris were a garden variety Carpet Snake (red carpet of course). Attracted to bright flashes, bling and rich toy boys. Often caught by amatuer film makers while mating :-).
Posted by: Damien Morgan | October 23, 2005 at 04:11 PM
14, always love your work and not just your paintings but your comments as well. It seems to touch the core ,scratches my itch! Can't wait to see the halloween special~
Posted by: won | October 23, 2005 at 06:54 PM
Yay for the Halloween Special!
Posted by: Patrick Fitzgerald | October 24, 2005 at 08:22 AM
Wow, I love your Picassoist rendering! --OH WAIT. That's an exact likeness. The stringy extensions, the snake-like personna interpreted in a literal sense--or maybe its just her unnatural skinnyness. It's just too bad snake/worms (snorms? wakes?) don't have pedic appendages because the girl does have some boats...and the way she crosses her legs in this 'come hither/I'm so green and innocent' way really doesn't flatter them.
Fab rendering. Checking your website HOURLY for your Famous Freaks Fright Fest posts!
Posted by: TheIdleReceptionist | October 24, 2005 at 08:56 AM
To Redhand's question, "Worm or snake?" I have another option: Tapeworm! An insidious energy-sucking parasite, i.e., we're all spending too much of our lives looking at this brainless, spoiled girl.
Posted by: jeanne | October 24, 2005 at 09:43 AM
Dude, her boobs are nowhere near that big. And her lips are waay too small!
Actually, this made me laugh out loud. Thanks for making the internets fun again!
Posted by: Johnny Huh? | October 24, 2005 at 10:20 AM
I agree, Won, 14's descriptions hit the mark. Paris *DOES* slither!! I love it...
Hmm. Instead of skin she molts boyfriends/friends...
Posted by: TheIdleReceptionist | October 24, 2005 at 11:59 AM
"Paris the Tape Worm"
Now is that parasite or SEX TAPE WORM?
Posted by: TheIdleReceptionist | October 24, 2005 at 12:06 PM
Hee-hee....I love you and your drawings I check this site every single day. It's just so amusing.
Posted by: Bella | October 24, 2005 at 03:29 PM
This is a work of unassuming joy (intermingled with that customary 14 acid, of course). The spontaneous rawness of it really works. LOVE it.
Are you sure this isn't a screen capture from some great holiday cartoon show from Hell?
Posted by: Viper Tetsu | October 24, 2005 at 04:15 PM
haha. She looks more like Phallus Hilton here. classic!!
Posted by: | October 24, 2005 at 08:49 PM
Wow, you must have been toasted. Your signature 14 at the bottom even looks drunk. Hehehe.
Pertect combo of scarry surrealism and crayola. Loves it!
Posted by: DonnaJEM | October 25, 2005 at 11:16 AM
OHHH 14. I love your styles. Where are you going for Halloween? I want to be there.
Posted by: MrBigBoy | October 26, 2005 at 12:59 AM
Oh come on she doesn't look as good as that!
Posted by: Fug. | October 26, 2005 at 01:41 AM
I always wondered why her head was always tilted...like her neck could not support it's weight...now I know...Thanks
Posted by: karen | October 26, 2005 at 08:41 PM
that picture captures her true personality. please keepup the good work. maybe the next picture of paris should be of her 10 years from hooking on the street corner.
Posted by: annir smith | November 05, 2005 at 04:22 PM
i prefer this to the other paris pic. your mum will be proud
Posted by: trish | November 23, 2005 at 06:08 AM
American Royalty???
Paris Hilton is our National Slut!!!
Posted by: dorothy parker's ghost | November 26, 2005 at 01:07 AM
as dorothy parker said:
"If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to."
p.s. Your talent is amazing!!! You quite simply rock, my dear.
Posted by: dorothy parker's ghost | November 26, 2005 at 01:10 AM
Leave her alone. You all know she's pretty attractive. She not the hottest, but she is hott. Stop hatin'. Does it make you feel better to talk about people better than you?
Posted by: hotdogg | December 28, 2005 at 03:02 PM
Is this supposed to be like that girl monster on that old nick cartoon 'ahh real monsters' because thats what it reminds me of. It's prefect though.
Posted by: kim | February 08, 2006 at 02:51 AM
You painted Paris as a giant sperm. How fitting!
Posted by: hateparis | March 03, 2006 at 07:09 PM
Maybe it's because of her lazy eye that she cant see her face in the mirror properly.
Thats why she always ends up looking so trashy ,shes like the queen of trailer-park land .If the crown fits wear it
Posted by: 4u2envy | October 02, 2006 at 08:54 AM
Wow this comment probably won't be seen considering how late it is, oh well =P Anyone remember that Nickelodeon show 'AHHH! Real Monsters!'? She looks like Oblina! It would be interesting if she was drawn in her likeness =D
Posted by: Nina | August 16, 2007 at 01:55 PM
This is a very funny picture but I like this disigning is very nice .
Posted by: Sanjay | April 10, 2008 at 01:06 AM