Since so many people are debating over whether Suri Cruise looks Asian or not, I decided to include a little Asian influence in her portrait. Many bloggers made jokes about little Suri's "Elvis" hair, so I've added a shiny black pompadour and sideburns. There are also other secret symbols based on more controversial rumors included as well. Medium: Gouache and watercolor on paper.
Speaking of babies, where is your fabulous drooling Shiloh Jolie portrait???
Did a gang of psychotic Brangelina fangirls threaten to screech like banshees outside your door until you took it off the site? (Glad I saved it!)
Posted by: Carla | September 28, 2006 at 12:59 PM
jajajajajaja , nice work girl!
Posted by: matherson | September 20, 2006 at 06:47 PM
LOL it's so funny because I just learned that they have a Scientology Center in New York; on Broadway--where else? There's one place on Broadway I will certainly be avoiding.....good drawing 14! :)
Posted by: Long Island Irish | September 14, 2006 at 09:48 PM
I love the sinister beauty of the claw hand... and the goofy, deer-in-headlights, vapid look on her face. Your art is so right-on, and everything those 2 (now 3) are about is so wrong. Is it preposterous to think that someone could engineer a fake love affair, fake pregnancy, and "baby"? Absolutely--but what's more preposterous is that the fools actually believe we should lap it all up. And that's what's beautiful about work like yours--its subtle irreverence is so healthy and needed at a time when we're supposed to be thrilled that an arrogant idiot and his zombie have "propagated."
Posted by: The JJ | September 14, 2006 at 08:48 PM
I found you via dribblingwitt, and I'm enthralled by the awesome artworks and the wittiness of your writing. Great blog!
Posted by: Waya | September 14, 2006 at 01:33 PM
WOW!! I just found your blog via dribblingwitt and I'm just amazed at how talented you are! The artworks are awesome! So witty too!
Posted by: Waya | September 14, 2006 at 01:31 PM
I love the way you've noticed Tom's disappearing hairline...lol. He now uses a "comb-forward" instead of a "comb-over"
Posted by: Drama Queen | September 13, 2006 at 11:39 AM
Oh, oh- my goodness! So funny! Brilliant!
Posted by: Elisa | September 13, 2006 at 06:26 AM
Tom Cruise looks a lot like Christopher Knight of The Brady Bunch in this rendering. Lol! Good job.
Posted by: CCC | September 12, 2006 at 02:18 PM
Tom looks like Greg Brady here.
Posted by: K | September 12, 2006 at 09:19 AM
:( This is great and all...but I was kinda hoping you would have done some sort of tribute to Steve Irwin by now. That is, if you even liked the guy. Oh well
Posted by: Poof | September 11, 2006 at 08:04 PM
Love the Elvis hair! I wish the "real" Suri were this cute.
Posted by: pepper | September 11, 2006 at 09:16 AM
All Hail Queen 14!
Posted by: Bucky Turco | September 10, 2006 at 05:30 PM
Suri looks so cute. But I thought that this alien from a "so-called" planet or so would exist. LOL!
Posted by: JV | September 09, 2006 at 07:52 PM
Hilarious as usual! I love the Elvis hair and the Claws.
Does the exploding volcano have something to do with Paramount dumping Cruise?
Posted by: Silver | September 09, 2006 at 04:18 PM
Tom looks like Bruce Willis in that one! LOL
Posted by: LALA | September 09, 2006 at 11:33 AM
Is it just me, or does this moppet look too old and fully-formed to be a (relative) newborn? I think that Tom hired some cigar-chomping middle-aged little person to play his daughter.
Like I need to say so about the portrait, but BRILLIANT. Again.
Posted by: Viper Tetsu | September 09, 2006 at 02:13 AM
Oh my!!!! Lol! Very good work, 14. I have to admit, when I saw the picture, I couldn't believe what a pretty baby Suri is. Too bad about her goof ball parents.
Posted by: Chansmom | September 08, 2006 at 09:20 PM
Now that Elvis has been given a second chance, what will he do? I hope Lisa Marie doesn't try to kidnap him--oh wait, she's a scientologist too, right?
Posted by: midevil | September 08, 2006 at 07:00 PM
Demon Kitty and Justice Fruitcake:
Thanks for noticing the PINK ray shaped as a TRIANGLE shooting out of the Thetan UFO. heh.
Oh, and this version of the painting is unfinished. I rushed to get it posted in time for the Suri hoopla. The finished version will appear in a book. Stay tuned for details!
and yes, UKIYO-E was a major influence for this image.
Thanks for your comments everyone - YOU make my blog entertaining.
14
Posted by: 14 | September 08, 2006 at 11:29 AM
In desperate attempts to look for the hidden symbols of these controversial rumors, I was wondering if the circles on Tom's inner kimono were actually the man symbols intersected to signify gay male relationships. One can guess ...Never mind the pink triangle coming down from the space ship. It was all done with a turkey baster.
So Much Love,
Demon Kitty
Posted by: Demon Kitty | September 08, 2006 at 11:01 AM
Please, 14, do a Paris Hilton mugshot.
Posted by: shadealuv | September 07, 2006 at 10:00 PM
I love this portrait, it's very funny, especially the Elvis personification! But is it just me or does Tom look like Luke Wilson in this (only with some heavy eyebrows)? I've seen a picture somwhere on the net where he's making this same expression...Okay, so I must be losing it 'cause I haven't heard any Wilson/Holmes rumors traveling the blogosphere, but I'm just putting it out there...
Posted by: rebecca | September 07, 2006 at 09:37 PM
Was this at all influenced by the work of Hokkusai? His 38(?) views of Mt. Fuji are an integral part of his collective work, and since this event is put into apocalyptic perspective it is only fitting that in your painting the Mountain is about to blow.
Posted by: a.murkin | September 07, 2006 at 06:40 PM
Hey the lil imp looked gorgeous. Although having thought about it, you know I think the poor little thing looks like Liza Minelli.
Posted by: Damien | September 07, 2006 at 05:10 PM
Hahahahaha! So funny! The baby is sooo cute!! ♥
Posted by: azu | September 07, 2006 at 04:04 PM
Maybe it's just me but the baby looks like Steven Stills. Is he hoping his surrogate kids can play with David Crosby's?
Posted by: evil toner | September 07, 2006 at 12:51 PM
Oh my lawd! He is loosing his mind more and more every day... And we are so lucky to have you to document this and the sham that is their relationship, biological baby, and cult affiliation.
Freaks!
Posted by: Crees_dahl | September 07, 2006 at 11:50 AM
I was thinking about the inevitable comments you get about using your gift for more positive pursuits, and the only thing I could think of was this: George Carlin is (in my opinion, and I could also bring up Bill Hicks) enormously funny. Would these critics rather him use his wit for say, writing children's books?
That being said, love this newest offering to the altar of celebrity snark. I love Katie's whopperjawed* face. Suri having Elvis hair is somehow completely perfect. I admit I was waiting for others to point out the hidden references, but are the 8's in Tom's inner kimono somehow significant?
*Southern for off-kilter, askew
Posted by: Noelegy | September 07, 2006 at 08:55 AM
Little Suri looks quite fetching as an Elvis impersonator.
Posted by: karenology | September 07, 2006 at 08:12 AM
my laughing Buddha of an artist, I love how the ray shooting from Xenu's spaceship is pink. nice touch.
Posted by: Justice Fruitcake | September 07, 2006 at 07:54 AM
You made TomKat look more like Chris Knight and Adrianna Curry. And that is one CREEPY hand.
But little Suri is ROCKEN that Elvis hair!!
Posted by: DonnaJEM | September 07, 2006 at 07:47 AM
Nicely done! Is that a Scientologist alien emerging from the volcano? Tom's evil claws and the mother ship are nice touches!
I actually think the baby looks like Mom. Thank heavens it does not have the insipid Cruise smirk.
Posted by: Moonmaid | September 07, 2006 at 07:02 AM
Suri with the fringe on top, indeed! So now that Maverick is being financed by amusement parks, does officially qualify him as a carnie? If so, this should help to explain the freak-show that is his current state of affairs. But for God's sake, only a small man would put a wiglet on a stolen baby! I've seen enough! Someone needs to call the authorities. If that poor child has to wear her wig for the next few years of her life, well, in the Midwest we call it abuse. I need to take a pill.
Posted by: blondie | September 07, 2006 at 06:33 AM
Also, I love the fact that Tom looks like he's stealing the baby -spiriting her away beneath his coat.
Very my preciousssss...
Posted by: Nia | September 07, 2006 at 06:20 AM
I love it...
Posted by: Brianna | September 07, 2006 at 06:17 AM
Oh that's perfect. You have captured her likeness very well. I love the hair.
Now if only her babygro was a sequinned white jumpsuit...
Posted by: Nia | September 07, 2006 at 06:15 AM
thats funny Suri looks like Kates ex Mr.Klein
Posted by: tee | September 07, 2006 at 06:03 AM
ha ha ha
Posted by: | September 07, 2006 at 06:01 AM
A beautiful and most amusing portrait! Wow, that was fast, too--the pics haven't been out very long. Love the details, especially that claw hand in the foreground!
Posted by: Katie V. | September 07, 2006 at 05:17 AM
Of course! The volcanoes! This is where evil lord Xenu threw the bodies of poor alien prisoners!
Posted by: Jujupiter | September 07, 2006 at 05:00 AM
You guys are great! Funny Stuff! I was rolling on the floor laughing out loud! Keep up the great work! I enjoyed everything on your site... Its about time some fun was had at the cost of these rich spoiled brats!
Posted by: Ken IRB | September 07, 2006 at 04:49 AM
It's 6;30am...I must have woken up someone in my building from laughing so hard!!! The Claw!! "Tiny Elvis has left the building".
Posted by: Ethan | September 07, 2006 at 04:39 AM