Britney, Lindsay and Paris: The Three Disgraces

La Primavera is one of Sandro Botticelli's best known paintings. The angelic figures shown in this ethereal work of art all represent mythological characters. While viewing this painting at the Uffizi, my eyes were drawn to the fluid movement and delicate beauty of the Three Graces. According to Greek mythology, the Three Graces represent beauty, charm and joy. Contemporary mythological characters such as Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton are the antithesis of grace. This makes them the Three Disgraces. They represent sleaze, trash, and desperate cry for attention. What makes these women think we want to see high resolution photos of their bald, flabby, and in Britney's case, Kevin Federline-infected genitalia? If they want to show off their crotch, why don't they just go ahead and pose for Playboy? Their girlie bits would be thankfully photo retouched to oblivion and our precious eyeballs would be spared the harsh detail of pimples, stubble, cesarean scar and general ickiness sullying their private parts. Medium: Acrylic on board.

Comments

[deanna]

hey lilly, the reason you're visiting a CELEB WEBSITE that makes light of the absurdity of mainstream media and its hypocrisy is why again? shouldn't you perhaps be more focused on say an arts and crafts site or something of that nature, or perhaps a fun-filled site with ideas for christmas knick knacks? perhpas a site of your own focused on those things that may cause a bit less anxiety as opposed this site whereby someone uses their artisitc talent for the purpose of humor and pure enjoyment might be a better choice for you. Lilly do you know what reaction formation is? Example I don't like sites that explore the nihilistic nature of celebrities showing them at their worst, discussing their bad behavior; that makes me sick. The very site of that stuff makes me ill, disgusted, nauseated. But lo and behold, you get on the web searching them out, looking and wowing in amazement at the same disgust that makes us sick.

[vdoprincess]

Lilly--didn't the celebs make it our business when they actively sought fame and attention? All of these girls are well-known for seeking the media--posing nude on magazine covers isn't exactly what you do when you're seeking a quiet, unobtrusive life. Therefore, to expect them to NOT have papparazzi coverage would be a bit naive, wouldn't you say?

[Lilly]

What a shock the artist is female...jealous much?

If you people were not so celeb hungry then pictures of these girls vagina would not be around, plus the paps lie on the ground to get these pictures and if they don't want to wear underwear what business is that of yours?

[Mimi Swanks]

Giving Britney a red neck wasn't an accident at all.

[Robin]

I'm sorry, but I'm LOVING the pics of Britney getting out of the car! :p

[Julia_Claudine_Deveraux]

I am about to pass out from laughter! From Lindsay's spotted booty to Paris' big, ginormous feet, this is funniest shit I've seen in a while! In this picture, Paris is a dead ringer for David Brenner hahaha!

[Barley Human]

Without barley humanoids, who would make your beer? Think about that next time you're pounding 40's, smart ass.

[Tunky]

I love it! You captured Paris immaculately! I also interpreted it that Paris was the puppet master manouvering these girls where she wanted them to go.

I think a lot of people out there do remember the good that was once in Lindsay, and can probably see the most hope for her, and I have a feeling that's why she came out better looking. In this painting, Lindsay, to me, looks to be seeing something more than the other two, and not as easily pleased by what is going on.

Great work!

[SRG]

hilarious. I said the same thing about playboy. it makes no sense that they "forget" to put on panties and spread their legs when the paparazzi are around? Shameless self promotion of the worst kind. They have no talent.....ok, maybe Lindsay does as an actress but otherwise, they're a mess!

[Marsha]

What I find confusing is the time Paris said she wouldn't pose for Playboy because that was for people who wanted to get attention.

So I guess Us poor folks are getting our money's worth in the three Disgraces, Miss Sleazo, Miss no braino and Firecrotch.

[theidlereceptionist]

Aye! Fantastico!!!

Lindsey is a revolting ugly barley humanoid beast in real life. Not captured here the way Paris is so perfectly done. A+ for the concept, though.

This is the most amazing representation of Paris I have ever see but why does LL look okay? She is beastly awful ugly in real life. Much worse the Britney.
And Snow Queen should STFU because we are allowed to have an opinion...otherwise there wouldn't be a comments section.

[Melanie]

I freaking love this, it has to be my favorite of yours yet - the gorgeous way you distorted their faces, Paris' huge feet, Britney's dazed expression... it is just genius.

[marybishop]

I don't know how I got here; don't know if I'll find my way back, but I must say you are brilliant. This illustration is beyond sardonic, clever or witty-- it is magnificent!!!!!!!

[Demon Kitty]

I just had to come back and say that I am motherfucking amazed at the amount of comments that have been posted!

Wow Man!

I love the way you gave Paris that ostrich shape 14!

More! More! More!

So Much Love,
Demon Kitty

[dallas]

bravo!

[JulesinSD]

I thought, how can our 14 not illustrate Brittany's latest X rated fiasco? I knew you would come through. You have captured beautifully the eyes on the side of her head look, and her out of proportion thighs.
We snicker with delight and hope these Bimbo's see your work and shutter in anger.

[Sarita]

Brilliant - if only the nasty bits would stay concealed under some time of panties.. Alas we wouldn't have had such a laugh today. Thanks 14 for making me giggle.

[zsazsa]

Wow! Your best! A masterpiece....
Titney's stunned fish look, perfectly wonderful! LaHohan looks good, at least she is still salvageable and has talent. Parisite is too flipping funny. I cannot believe I'm going to defend her..but she always looks well kempt compared to the other two :).

[deanna]

bravo kai. you are a gentleman and a scholar.... holiday greeting card is in the mail. thank you 14 sharing your talent.

[Jessica Simpson]

LMOA!!!
You nailed Britney Spears perfectly!! God,what a pathetically true depiction of the STD Sisters!!

[Ricko]

Hiya 14!,
Somehow my comment of 12/04 ended up with someone else's name on it; and I am being credited with someone else's comment. Not a big issue, just thought you'd like to know.
"Ricko"

(My original comment was "I've been a fan of yours for over a year now.
This is truly one of your finest!The huge fingers, the warts, it's brilliant! One question though, what are your REAL,TRUE fellings about the antics of these 'desperate degenerates'? (sounds like a sequel to a currently popular TV show! LOL)Thanx for the S&G!!")

[JustPeachy]

Of course, 14, excellent work as always! It's always nice to combine your gift of artistry with your gift of snark!

One thing - to the people who are saying: "you made lindsey too pretty" or "britney looks better than that"...people like you make me a little nauseous. You wait until someone creates something and then add your golden opinion on how it could be "better". Create your own shit...and then you can custom-make it to your liking, snatches.

[Snow Queen]

My apologies to you dear Long Island Irish, as 'yea sure' was indeed the target of my vitriol.

Seriously, though, I have to question anyone who doesn't see the pitch-perfect tone of this picture. ;-)

[Kamala]

14, YOU ROCK MY WORLD. Like I said, this is one of the all time classics. This one made my colon spasm with twisted delight. Eww.

[licoricepirate]

this is amazing

if u ever stop arting, i will weep bitter tearz.

[14]

Thanks for your comments everyone! Your feedback and commentary are what makes this blog so interesting. It's not the celebrities I find interesting, it's the social commentary generated by their antics.

xoxo
14

[Cokemonkey]

Another brilliant piece of work from you 14, you never fail us! You are a twisted, twisted bitch!! lol!! The Best!

[buggey]

Please, please, please do something on Jennifer Aniston. You've made fun of Brad and Angelina a few times. Equal opportunity. Just one time. Chinny chin,chin.

[Michael Richards]

Magnifique!!!

[sup]

In all seriousness, paintings are supposed to capture the essence, and this one is as near perfect (or IS it perfect?) as it can possibly get. I gotta say, as ugly as the Paris portrayal is (and I NEVER thought she was hot), the Britney one is staggering and I actually have a difficult time looking at it. And I like the "positive" portrayal of Lindsay - she isn't quite as bad as the other two as she actually does have some talent, and seemingly a potential excuse for being fucked up (like her crazy family life), she actually has a chance. Great work!

[Jaded]

Too, too funny and love the detail.
These skanks have turned into caricatures of themselves.

[azuka]

Hahahaahahaha... the feet are so hysterical, Ooh gosh I don`t know why not... "If they want to show off their crotch, why don't they just go ahead and pose for Playboy?" Yeeeah!! This is what I said! Just like Christina...

Son todas unas asquerosas! Ewwwwwww...

Saluditos 14

=D

[matthew]

rofl...

[Elen]

GREAT

[O]

Man these are hilarious! I'm still LMFAO @ Lindsay standing on Paris' humongous foot!
This is so perfect, thank youuuuuuu!

[Blueboy]

LMAOOO I can't stop laughing at Paris's face,its brilliant,the whole thing,I love ur site

[sativa]

ha awesome :D

[nan]

14, I loove this! I am a trash-a-holic, and this is such a true representation of these girl's gross antics right now. I'm all for wearing undies and crossing legs, but I guess I'm old fashioned! Keep up the brilliant work!

[Javelin]

this is my favorite thing ever. talk show hosts and late night comedians can say all they want but this picture is worth a thousand or their words. awesome!

[CowgirlUp]

The likeness of Paris is outstanding! Very funny!

[Yagirl]

I cain't believe it!!! Your version/depiction of these 3 bimbo's walking like ho's is freakin' DEAD-oN! Do these tramps really have no SHAME and no Clue of their reputations???

[jayco]

Twatastically Twisted! Love you, 14.

[Fug.]

Lovely, but I think you made Lindsay look too pretty.

[Kai]

Oy! toomuch4u, I get around town and I wear undergarments. Also, I am a man, and I am not in the habit of wearing a skirt. Their... erm, private areas are rather obvious. Also, they are in the public eye. I would wear panties if I were a celebrity woman (chances of happening- null). These people have also no class in other areas of their life. The American public loves it of course, and don't think their brains are so small they don't know that. (Actually in the case of Britney her lack of class just makes me pity her). No, they are not role models, and I hope they're not striving to be. I don't have kids yet, but of course I would be a good parent, a good role model, but it wouldn't hurt for them to have other role models, hopefully not blatant trash, though. Not to be rude, toomuch4u, but who was your role model that made you so angry and type in all caps?

Shalom,
Kai

[sachiko]

actually i think brit loks pretty cute in this one hehehe

brilliant work :)

[K.]

Dude, you are being WAY too kind to Lohan, that girl is a train wreck.

[deanna]

uhhm "toomuch4you"...."IM SO GLAD I WORKED AS A JOURNALIST" would the operative word here be "worked"? Are you no longer working in the field? I hate when I have to pull myself together to respond in a somewhat intelligent fashion, especially when it is well into the evening. "toomuch4you" you seem very angry that others are expressing their outrage at the lack of decency these women demonstrate. I would also make the observation that you seem to be projecting your anger, which is a defense mechanism that individuals use when they lack adequate coping and or communication skills to address the true underlying issue(Freud). If the bottom line is you do not own nor use undies and feel as if you have been attacked personally by bloggers on this site that would be unfortunate. An apology will not be forth coming. Perhaps psychoanalytic psychotherapy might be in order. Now I never said they were my childrens' role models, but truth be told, these girls are media icons and as such are part and parcel of the necessary evils in our society to promote the film and music goods marketed to children. I simply do not believe it to be beyond the realm of reason to expect the people who supposedly market themselves as wholesome and worthy to be part of the family economy do try to model some of what they would like us soccer moms to invest our hard earned money on. Actually that would be hollywood pretending to know just how much bad behavior can be tolerated by their employees before their goods and services fail to market successfully(not really a soccer mom) Turning off the tv and running away would be avoidance, addressing the issue.. priceless

[Jester]

Hilarious. Among your finest works, 14. Although I might suggest that using the term "Private Parts" for any bit of these 3 might be a bit of a reach...