According to a report in the UK Sun, some Scientology leaders believe Tom Cruise is the "Christ of Scientology". Flabbergasted after reading such a claim, we decided to send a group of undercover agents to investigate the dark recesses of the Los Angeles Church of Scientology in order to seek clues. Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence and we obtained it! Our wily agents gained entrance into the fortress by feigning interest in being "audited" and were quickly able to escape unnoticed into the darkness of the church basement. Prying open the safe, our agents were shocked to discover Leopold Da Vinnie's famous painting, "The Scientologist's Last Supper". It clearly shows Tom Cruise as Christ, but leaves several other questions unanswered. For instance, who is the mysterious woman seated to His left and why is she smiling like that? Could she be his...gasp...wife? Is that a Jenny Craig-approved cupcake Kirstie Alley is grabbing? John Travolta is wearing loafers and he's floating - what does this mean? How did Will Smith get mixed up with this bunch? So many questions, so few answers. Medium: Acrylic on board, unfinished. Thanks Holly for the brainstorm.
While snooping through the safe, our investigators also obtained this photo of what appears to be an image of Christ burned into a piece of toast. It's a miracle!
Based on our dangerous, yet thorough investigation, we conclude that Tom Cruise is indeed the Scientology Christ. Just take a look at these t-shirts we found in the basement.
i would totally buy one of those "worship me" tees....
Posted by: monica corona | January 29, 2007 at 07:49 AM
That's quite a fist.
Posted by: blondie | January 29, 2007 at 07:07 AM
I truly dig on the platform shoes that u have Tom wearing in the picture...poor wee little man!
Posted by: robin | January 29, 2007 at 06:38 AM
I agree! The Last Supper..You have nailed it!
Posted by: Texas | January 29, 2007 at 06:25 AM
Where can I buy that shirt???
I swear I pissed myself...
Posted by: janina | January 29, 2007 at 06:15 AM
Holy Sh*t I think I just pissed myself!
Oh lord... that was good.
Posted by: janina | January 29, 2007 at 06:14 AM
Finally, someone uncovers what we suspected all along. Will is only there to supervise the aliens.
Posted by: midevil | January 29, 2007 at 04:37 AM
What a timely post! I actually just recently watched The Da Vinci Code on DVD, and seeing this mockery really made me laugh. You've created another masterpiece here, 14!
Posted by: Ophelia | January 29, 2007 at 04:18 AM
I propose a toast. *snicker*
Rather, I propose that we make an iron brand for burning the Holy Image of Xenu's Only Begotten Son onto toast and tortillas.
Posted by: dot | January 29, 2007 at 02:53 AM
These bitches make me sick. They live in a fantasy world. Hollywood is so nauseating. I am sick of seeing his crinkled up nose. He is a fucking bully, a rat-like bully, and this bitch needs to come out of the closet. I am so sick of these motherfuckers. Do they really think we can't see through their bullshit???????!!!!!!! Kirsty Alley and John Travolta are so fucking cheesy! What the fuck is up with Will Smith? Is he gay too or what? Where am I getting this "everyone is gay shit" from? Ted Casablanca at eonline.com! I am getting so sick of gays who play straight so they can cash in on the Cinderella shit that doesn't exist in the first place, except in fucking Hollywood.
So Much Love,
Demon Kitty
Posted by: Demon Kitty | January 29, 2007 at 02:08 AM