Gallery of the Absurd

A Portrait of George Lucas

I'm taking a break from painting celebrity gossip for about a week or so and will be posting a few images of my "other" art while I'm on vacation. Even though this is a painting of a celebrity, it has nothing to do with gossip...I just really like George Lucas's swirling silver helmet of perfectly coiffed hair and I wanted to paint him. The title of this painting is "George Lucas's Hair Unfurls to Reveal A Secret Interdimensional Vortex Allowing Him To Communicate Telepathically With An Ancient Diety From A Galaxy Far, Far Away." Medium: acrylic, oil pastel, and charcoal on paper.

The World's Most Expensive Handbag

Much discussion has erupted over the recent announcement of the $45,000 Loius Vuitton bag. Only two dozen were made, and despite the fact they look like something a lawnmower chewed up, all have quickly sold out. If you think paying $45,000 is outrageous, then get a load of this Loius Vuitton $150,000 Urban Satchel debuting for Spring 2008:

Made of the world's finest Italian leather, this one-of-a-kind luxury handbag is hand-crafted with carefully chosen "urban charms". The proud owner of this exclusive handbag will be able to flaunt her impeccable style and lavish taste to a world that can only dream about owning such a rare and precious possession. Medium: an old purse found in the back of my closet, rubber cement, various bits of trash found on the sidewalks of San Francisco.

Ashley Olsen has signed a multimillion dollar endorsement deal to advertise the $150,000 Urban Satchel in upcoming issues of Vogue. It's rumored the Olsen Twins are locked in heated battle over who gets to purchase the bag, while Anna Wintour and Victoria Beckham have started a nasty bidding war for it. Medium: Photoshop collage.

I hate to say it, but the $45,000 bag pictured above looks sooooo last season compared to the innovative design of the Urban Satchel.

The Angelina Jolie Hands-Free Multiple Child Carrier

Angelina Jolie recently announced she has filed papers to adopt yet another exotic overseas orphan. Faced with the burden of carrying so many children while traveling the world for humanitarian reasons, Jolie commissioned a designer to create a stylish transport to fit her unique needs. The Angelina Jolie Hands-Free Multiple Baby Carrier is a sleek device that carries up to four children and features diaper storage, a bottle and sippy cup holder, an insulated snack compartment, and retractable toys. Best of all, the carrier allows Angelina to keep her hands free to pick up other orphans that might catch her eye. Available by special order only, but hurry, there's a growing wait list. Madonna has already placed her order and other celebrities are likely to follow. Medium: ink on paper, digital color.

Olsen Twins: Shaggy Little Imps of Hell?

The Olsen Twins have been seen skulking around the streets of New York while wearing nothing but black tights, homeless blankets and expensive handbags. Their tangled hair hangs languid and their oversized bug-eye glasses shield them from the prying eyes of humanity. Medium: charcoal, pastel, ink on paper.