Jessica Simpson By Popular Request

I was amazed at the amount of email I received regarding the painting of Jessica Simpson shown below. Many people accused me of being "too nice" to her and advised me to push it further. Because the work on Gallery of the Absurd is inspired by social commentary, I agreed to repaint her in a more appropriate manner. Medium: ink, gouache on paper, digital color and text. NSFW uncensored version of the doll is here.

Comments

[kaiserin]

I LOVE this pic! 14, you hit it right on the head...just like usual! You managed to point out the thing that I despise most about Chestica, which is how she is ALWAYS running around with that trout mouth of hers gaping open. I just don't get that...why would you try and make yourself even MORE ugly and unappealing by doing that? Because that's exactly what it does, it makes her look like a Down Syndrome kid or something. Sh annoys the hell out of me.

[Nina Nealon]

Sean - I think it's obvious that the issue with Jessica Simpson isn't "immorality" but "pathetic attention-whoring" that is completely unhealthy. Her existance has nothing to do with "sex; natural and good". What is natural or good about being a sex object? How can anyone associate Jessica Simpson with feminism? Seriously! You're so completely ignorant. And why is it that for you, judgement of Jessica Simpson must be coming from Christian fundamentalists? Try reading The Feminine Mystique and then come back with a more informed opinion of female worth.

[DonnaJEM]

I agree Adam Smith, the mouth couldn't possibly be used for sex.
It would be like trying to give a whale a tic-tac.

[parissucksliterally]

My jaw DROPPED at this one! Then I cracked UP!

Fabulous.

[alicia]

Celebrities are products of their culture.
Whores are not necesarily stupid though they might be uncultured just as celebrities.

[Cy;nthia]

Actually, the blowup doll looks better than that asshole!

[Adam Smith]

The mouth is so ridiculously large,I can only imagine wearing it as some sort of hat.

If you had two.

Trainers?

[Glorious Karl]

Sean:

"The telling difference being men not only don't attacked with slurs, but are celebrated for the same damn behavior."

What an awful sentence. Actually it doesn't have verb, so I should say, what an awful sentence fragment.

"jerk and creep are 'neutral' insults"

How can an insult be neutral?

Most importantly, you accused me of slurring Ms. Simpson. I did no such thing.

[Sean]

GK,
The telling difference being men not only don't attacked with slurs, but are celebrated for the same damn behavior. Worse, these slurs condemn the female gender, slurring an entire group of people for the perceived sins of a few.
I don't applaud the behavior of Simpson, Spears, Hilton, etc. but I sure as hell can't stand Joe Francis--who is far worse--and yet people either love him or just use "jerk" or "creep" to attack him, which are neutral insults.
Condemn her all you want, just don't use slurs which, in effect, attack her gender.

[midevil]

Yikes.

[Demon Kitty]

What about Paris Fingerralla, - or Britney?

To Sean:

I agree with you 100%. There is nothing wrong with female sexuality. There is something wrong with being ostentatious or conspicuous - whether it is showing off truckloads of jewelry you are wearing all at once or showing off your brand new 100 pound triple D jugs you just purchased from the local plastic surgeon. It's like wearing dagger length lycra Lee press on nails that have shredded 100 dollar bills in them. It's like showing off your cooter or wearing a T shirt that says PRADA on it in big ass letters. Wearing a skirt that exposes your ass crack is also like wearing articles of clothing that have the designer's name in huge Gold diamond encrusted letters that can be seen from the space station orbiting the earth. Look at ma' cooter, look at ma' tits, look at ma' shit!!!! There is nothing wrong with having assets, but parading them around and putting them on display in public is not sophisticated. It is lacking in imagination and nuance. One thinks of loud, vulgar, tacky, garish, gauche - which often leads to words like slut, whore, and ho. I am not saying that we should all dress like a bunch of marms and priests. We live in such a "show off" society these days. Even designers have picked up on it and emphasize their logos. Showing off is usually associated with stupidity, low self esteem, lack of taste and sophistication. When you show off your tits and your cooter then people think, low self esteem, lack of dignity, taste, blah, blah, blah, and WHORE. If you behave as if you have no gray matter in your head then this drives it home.

[Glorious Karl]

Midevil - try this then. It's NSFW by the way.

[Dix]

ewww. The likeness is just too eerie. She has gone from funny to sad and truly pathetic.

[Sean]

I must add a comment on these slut/ho slurs: what the hell is wrong with you? This moral hysteria over female sexuality is ridiculous. Sex is natural and good. Women having sex is natural and good; in fact, it's necessary for the survival of the damn species. If you don't like a woman's "morals" then go back to the Bible study group you crawled out of and pray to Jesus to protect you from all those "sinful" women.

[Sean]

That is so wrong.
The true shame is that now I feel bad for her.

[midevil]

Glorious Karl: No, that's not me, although people do mistake me for her sister. She's since quit, eh. I never really got into cigarettes *cough cough*.

I couldn't access that bloody link. *sniff*

[Fingerralla]

Well, MelA you are amazingly intelligent. I got that impression just by looking at your short sarcastic, full of satire comment.

WebMasterPete, I understand your sensitivity about "my hero" part, but just think about what I am going to tell as an example:

Just point me out how many shallow, stupid and whore like celebrities can you see in French tabloids and rest of the media? By the way I am not a French fan or neither I am from France. But it is a good example to give. Anyway, let's go back to the subject... It is not like all the French people are sophisticated and smart, they have lumpen proletariat, too but f... me if they have celebrities like Britney Spears or Jessica Simpson. Somehow, they don't.

That's why Jessica is your American hero, mate and there is a problem with that. I am sorry.

[Charlene]

My American Hero?

Fingerella, darling, anyone who sees Jessica "Isn't Acting Like A Total Ditz, Thereby Making All Women Seem Less Intelligent Than They Really Are, So Cute?" Simpson as a hero needs a psychiatrist.

[Demon Kitty]

That looks exactly like her. Jessica Simpson is the infected in grown hair follicle on the crotch of America. Britney Spears and Paris Hilton are the infected herpes lesions on the crotch of America. R. Kelly, Lil' Kim, Foxy Brown, and Khia are the genital warts on the crotch of America.

What the hell is wrong with this country? There are so many things wrong with this goddamn country.

You painted her as she is 14!

[Marie]

Oh. My. God. LOL! ;D

Was this artistically cathartic? I believe it was. It is for me somehow.

[Melanie]

That looks so much like her, it's eerie.

[Kristen from MA]

Freaking hilarious!

[Damien]

Now thats just scary, but scary in a good way and slightly dodgy way.

[andrea]

I can't even look at that and not have a visceral "YESSSSSS!!!!!!!!" reaction, for al of us. That's the definition of art, it just speaks to ya, clearly. It just that is what She IS. Though, not WHO she is. WHO she is, is an eternal, immortal,universal & infitnite being of light, but that's another subject, WHAT she is, is a scary plastified fuck-doll created by
Soc-i-e/Daddy. Ew.
Brava!

[Chansmom]

14, for the first time today, I laughed! Thank you for doing that! Love your work and you too!!!! LOL!

[Jenn F.]

Glorious Karl, the DemonBaby blog was absolutely hilarious to read. And as you said, it was the part about his own personal experience with the beer can that was the funniest. Good find.

[LP]

Your picture says it all, almost. I have a scarey sinking thought that Jessica may just follow in her Dads original priestly footsteps and become some new kind-of tele-evangelist, web-evangelist. Her latest blog shows her written ramblings. Nothing would surprise me, as she is an airhead. Also, I can't stand that "hanger-on-her" Paves (that bad-hair guy looks so plastic & spray tanned-yuck).
Thanks 14 for your good work and allowing us a voice.

[Michael J. Koch]

The best thing Nick Lachy ever did was dump the stupid Ho!

[Glorious Karl]

midevil: thanks for making an old man happy! Are you the brunette in the flickr pictures? Ouch! Do quit smoking though, dearie. I did at your age and for the rest of my life I will regret punking myself to the tobacco companies.

On another note, the blowup doll reminded me of this:

http://www.demonbaby.com/blog/2005/08/curiosities-from-japans-porno-shops.html

The whole thing's worth a read, but the beer can digression is the part dearest to my heart: "I probably sat there for an hour, silently with my plastic lover, pondering my existence."

[ILSA]

Oh, that's awful!! It took me a minute to decide whether those things framing her image on the box were lips or vadges. (Your little dog in the NSFW link is so cuuute!)

[WebMasterPete]

TO: fingerralla
There certainly is some truth to what you say, BUT - she is Definitely NOT MY 'American Hero' - and the women or girls who imitate her are shallow, stupid, plastic fuck dolls like her.

[midevil]

Ewwwwwww.

Oh man, Glorious Karl, your honesty with being male, it's so refreshingly honest! What's your number, honey?

[MelA]

So hilarious!

And to the comment above...That hooker is not MY American hero.

Wonder Woman is.

[Paris is a Whore]

Nick Lachey probably has the blow-up doll as his screen saver.

[Salmonella]

She's become such a caricature of herself; I'm sick of her.

[DonnaJEM]

Freakin yikes.

[Thorne Smith]

Wow, 14, I can't believe how fast you create and post your work! Granted, Blow-up Jessica isn't as detailed as the "Screaming Baldwin," "Crabby Paris-site," or "The Simple Life 'Spread'," but she certainly does bear an uncanny resemblance to the real thing. I think the stark simplicity of it all reflects Jessica perfectly, mentally and physically.

[scaredshitless]

Ahh my eyes!

[fingerralla]

There are much worse examples of celebrities getting dressed like that. It would be nonetheless pointless to accuse the "celebrity" as acting like a whore while the society itself is giving credit to these kind of behaviors in every aspect of our daily lives. Just tell me how many of you don't see all these teen girls walking around in their underwear during Halloween. That's supposed to be their custome. And now think about who gives the celebrities "the celebrity" status.

To make it short, I think Jessica looks totally fine if we think about the popular American values, ladies and gentleman.

She is your American hero, get over with "oh she is such a slut, looks fat bla bla" bullshit.

[Jenn F.]

Oh that is WAY too funny.

[Glorious Karl]

Oh my. That caricature is uncomfortably accurate.

The worst part is I'd probably do her. I'll tell ya, sometimes it's not all roses being a man.