Paris Hilton Goes To The Big Bird Cage

When I think of Paris Hilton in jail, this is the image that comes to mind. According to The Sun, the female inmates at the Century Regional Detention Facility include "violent robbers, hookers, junkies and a mob of butch lesbians who control by force". Perhaps I've watched too many cheesy women's prison films, but wouldn't it be great for Hilton's "career" if she starred in a remake of Caged Heat or The Big Bird Cage when (or if) she finishes her prison term? This concludes my Paris Hilton Celebration Week...for now. Medium: ink on paper, digital color.

Comments

[14]

shcandenfruende
shuandenfrined
schauszenpepper
schnauzer

14

[chindonation]

schadenfreude, not schadenfreuNde. otherwise, l always enjoyed coming back here to view your work!

[moonmaid]

OMG, I remember that cheesy movie Caged Heat from college, when we all went drunk and laughed at it! You have updated it beautifully. The copy from the Sun (that bastion of cheese itself) is priceless - "a mob of butch lesbians who control by force" - lol.

This pinhead igoramus deserves all the scorn heaped upon her. I hope she finds a thimble of humility after hanging out in her new digs.

[Tee]

"staring Tonya Harding..introducing Bust Yo Face" LMFAO! Maybe they can make the other eye match the wonky one, and hopefully break her nose so she will finally fix that mess.

Anyway, I LOVE your work, but I'm surprised you didn't capitalize on Paris' Bible toting. It would have been hilarious to see a painting of it maybe burning a hole through her arm as she paraded it around (church marm clothes and all) in a futile effort to make herself look like a saint.
I'm shocked she didn't burst into flames.
: )

[Viper Tetsu]

DK, I just want to run around shouting, "Cooter! Cooter!" like that old man about to be stoned to death in LIFE OF BRIAN shouting, "Jehovah! Jehovah!" Thank you for that special verbal earworm.

And Dear 14, I'm certain that CAGED MEAT's cast will include Linda Blair as the plucky chipmunk-cheeked cellmate, Sybil Danning as the bad-assed cellblock bully, and Mary Woronov as the evil lesbian prison warden. Nobody opens up a can of whoop-ass on sniveling b-grade starlets like Woronov...

Oh, did I mention that this is frickin' hysterical? Well, it's hysterical. Period.

[theidlereceptionist]

holy shitballs, TONYA HARDING?!?!?!?!?

I HELLA HEART YOU, 14!

Shouldn't it be Schadenfreude?

[AM]

I just love your site. The Paris Hilton jail thing is hysterical.

[14]

wendy,

I can assure you that I'm not and never have been
fixated on Paris Hilton. I vowed to draw her for a week and kept my word. I am however, currently fixated on Gary Oldman for some reason. Thanks for the comment though.

xoxo
14

[wendy]

You're such a talented artist, but please no more bloody paris hilton, you're getting fixated now and it's getting too repetitious.

[Jim Choma]

It's probably just me, but the horrid, leering inmate to Wonkie's right reminds me of a post-car-bashing-headshaved-Britney.

A reduction to 23 days in the cushy section of the clink steams my blood.

I just want to thank you again, 14, for putting an accurate face on mental deficients like Paris Hilton in our celebrity obsessed society.

[UndecidedPerfect]

Paris Hilton has nothing to worry about, shes not going to some highly intense worry about your life and your cooter prison. Ive worked within the federal "pound me in the ass prison" where they send the worst of the worst and she's not going to any prison remotely close to that caliber

On top of that, due to over crowding and the American judicial system she will be out in less than 15 days, big fucking deal -I've had PMS that's lasted longer than that. So she may have to pick some weeds, pound some liscence plates Jesus H Christ, I feel sorry for the staff of the prison for having to deal with her whinny diva behavior and celebrity status, you better believe they're going to be working 100x harder when she enters the building.

Im sorry but I am so overy Paris and her bitching over her sentence. Celebrities should not be immune to the consequences of their actions I dont care how many movies or hotels theyve made. There are worse conditions in the world to live in than 3 square meals a day and cable TV.

[Jenn F.]

You know the one that cracks me up the most? Far left. She's got those Michael-Jackson-in-the-Thriller-video eyes. And a pin-headed mullet! Love it!

[Christie_Love]

I doubt she'll be allowed to wear her beloved blue contacts in prison, so perhaps you should have drawn her with her natural brown eyes?

[sunny]

The "M" in Meat is just...

*shudder*

Awesome, 14.

[Speedmonkey.net]

Very Funny. Maybe they can re-shoot OZ? Special treatment or not, she's going to hate it...but her mother is really the one who should go to jail.

[i don't like you in any way]

I love that you inclduded Paris' man-hands. Very subtle.

[DonnaJEM]

Hehehe. It would be nice to think Par-ass would be in the general population of the jail, and have these skanks hitting on her all day and night. Fighting over who's beotch she gets to be.
But, alas, she will get to spend her 23 days in the "Hilton-esk" side. 12, two-person cells reserved for police officers, celebrities and other high profile jail birds. She still gets special treatment, I guess 'cause she so fragile and all.

[Celtiberian]

Paris Hilton, a translucent depiction of the mental and moral degradation today's society suffers from.

[Demon Kitty]

I knew that cunt wouldn't have to serve her full sentence.

[coffeegod]

I am betting Parasite's lawyer is wishing he had just kept his letter writing to himself right about now.

14 rules!

[Liz]

LOVE IT!!!! Please, please keep the jail bird Paris stuff coming. This is a golden opportunity for we Paris Ho-bag haters. You know she is shitting herself and crying all the time for Mommy and Daddy to buy her out of this one. I love her "friend" Gummi Bear Davis giving us his thought provoking defense. WHAT RETARDS! Do these people complete elementary school?

http://www.tmz.com/2007/05/10/gummi-weighs-in-on-paris-its-absolutely-retarded/#comments

[Demon Kitty]

i fear this picture my make me go back to dick .....

god those women....ew!!!!!

[Bubbles53]

Ahhhh, SHIT!!!

Brava, 14! Brava!

*dies laughing*

[andrea]

I feel just like Damien, Pinch me.
It's almost too good to be true. The judge who sentenced her, the honorable Michael T. Sauer, who was appointed by non-other than Ronald Regan, has done us some real good as a society. Can it be true?
The conservatives are doing us right for a change? Not that ANY thinking person in that particular position of power would not do the same, be he (or she) Democrat, Republican, or other.
The time for celebrities to be treated differently than everyone else when they have done something blatantly reckless and obviously with not a care that they may actually have to pay some consequences needs to be over already. She's stupid, vapid, self-absorbed, and has a grossly off-kilter sense of entitlement. No surprise there. Hurray for the justice system. All her little fans who idolize her can finally learn something practical. Obey the law!! Or, like Jim Carrey said as his lawyer-character in "Liar Liar", "STOP BREAKIN' THE LAW, ASSHOLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Peace,

[Damien]

Someone pinch me i can't beleive it.

I guess she'll be some chicks bottom bunk ho, you know gay for the stay. I wonder what shes worth in terms of cigarettes.

[Dirty Whore]

once again....perfect!
xoxo

[Bea]

No! Pleeeeassse, 14. Don't close the book on Parisite permanently! See, there are still animals for you to do. If you need a break, okay. I can live with that. But "officially over Paris Hilton"?? How can you illustrate celebrity mythology without Paris Hilton? That would be like British invasion night on American Idol, where they sang everything but the Beatles (fucking Michael Jackson). What's next, no more Tom Cruise? I need to know that someday I will once again laugh my ass off at the sight of her lazy eye and uncircumsized penis nose.

[Mr. Besilly]

Paris Hilton's jail house of horrors. Her new friends will not fare as well in the tabloids joining Paris on her late night romps. Brilliantly done with that wonky eye in plain view.

[Jenn F.]

Oh my God that is hilarious... those are some nasty looking cellmates.

Demon Kitty, I burst out laughing out loud when I read that you wrote "cooter".

You know, the one thing that always puts a bit of a damper on the fun is when people seem to feel the need to point out what they think 14 "should" have done to her art... such as making the roots more prominent, leaving off the make-up, etc. What the fuck?! Can we not just enjoy what 14 produced however she chose to do it? Why pick apart and point out what tiny ways you feel it is lacking?

[14]

Ah ha haaaaaa! Okay, no more Paris Hilton, I agree. I said I would draw her for a week and I kept my word. Now I need bed rest to get over the trauma.

Gallery of the Absurd is officially over Paris Hilton.
xoxo
14

I agree with UGH! Enough already! 14, please no more...........

[theresa]

Absolutely beautiful.

[Meg]

14, once again you nailed it! Congrats. Keep up the awesome work, you're my fav artist.

[Cyclops Kitten Natividad]

Love it, 14! I hope Pam Grier is in your movie somewhere...and Sid Haig. Not enough Sid Haig in movies lately.
This is a thing of beauty...zombies in prison! Oh hells yeah.

[Lisa]

Ugh! Leave the girl alone already. Yeah she needs to do her time but she is human.

[Demon Kitty]

God, I fucking loved Caged Heat man!!!!! Brigit Nielson as a lesbian warden, fucking hell that was awesome!!!! Don't forget "Women in Cages" with Pam Grier as a lesbian warden!!!! I agree 14, Tonya Harding should be in the cell with her. Tonya Harding is looking pretty scary these days!!!! God, I can't stop laughing because "Daddy" is what I call unsuspecting dykes when I demand they spank me! LOL!!! Just joking, not really! God I am laughing. Big Daddy looks like a cross between a troll and Poppey the Sailor Man. I heard Paris is taking self defense classes to prepare her for prison fights. "A Mob of Butch Lesbians who control by force". Dear God, I hope she starts wearing underpants after she gets out of prison - can you imagine the shape her cooter is gonna be in after these bitches get done with it????????????????? EEEEEEwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[14 fan]

Very nice work, but you may want to do an update if Drudge is right. An ink of Paris in leg irons whacking weeds, with a tobacco chewing shotgun toting Strother Martin looking on.

When I heard Sheriff Joe Arpaio had a fair chance to get hold of that b!@#h, I said to myself: God, Jove, Thor, Buddha, Vishnu, please please please make it so!

[Bloody Whore]

She needs to be shanked!!!

[Morrigan]

cant...stop...laughing!

Thank you, 14...it's much needed!

[Em]

This is wicked! love this site, it is so hilarious - thanks 14!

[midevil]

Brilliant, but you already knew that!

[alisa]

Wonderful as always. My only opinion, should have made her roots more prominent and taken away all makeup. She won't be allowed any makeup or hair dye during her sentence.