Poor Paris Hilton, when will the unforgiving public start noticing her vast talent, her selfless contributions to society, her important brand status of “like, a businesswoman”….anything other than the fact she has huge hands, hypertrophied feet, a low dull hum of a personality, an oddly shaped behind (and we all know every unfortunate inch of her intimate parts thanks to the Internet) and her charming little wonk eye? She’s a brand, folks. Don’t you understand? She’s one of America’s most recognizable exports! We should be proud of our national treasure, our American princess, our box office Goliath. Medium: Gouache on paper.