Gallery of the Absurd

Miley Cyrus Causes a Sensation By Posing Topless In Vanity Fair

I had a hard time painting 15-year old Miley Cyrus because when one stares at her for a long time, she looks like a chubby cheeked child one minute, and then seconds later, she appears as a hung-over, hard-bitten, 20-something party girl waking up in the bed of a stranger and in bad need of a shower. Do I paint her looking innocent, or do I pick up on the overt sexuality simmering through her come-hither gaze? I was never able to make a decision. I'm quite curious of your opinions about Miley's Vanity Fair photo shoot - is it kandy koated kiddie porn or simply an artistic portrayal of a young girl seeking the spotlight? Medium: liquid pencil, watercolor, acrylic, ink on paper, digital color. Larger detail here.

Meet The Cackling Bowl Cut Chimps

The easiest way to identify this curious species is by the identical bowl cut hairstyle each family member adorns itself with or by the wide-mouthed grimace they display when cackling. Despite the fact the female towers over the male, she submits to his control and has been observed taking on his hobbies, habits and interests. The male is easily agitated, excitable and aggressive toward anyone who dares to criticize his peculiar belief system. If your car breaks down on the highway, you had better hope a Cackling Bowl Cut Chimp is nearby because they're the only ones who can help. Medium: Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes and Suri: liquid pencil and watercolor on paper. Palm trees: digital sketch. Original sketch shown here.

Ashlee Simpson's T-Shirt Line Has Been Redesigned

What is it with all these "celebrities" designing lines of cheap flimsy t-shirts with images of their faces splashed across the front? WHO wears this crap?? Ashlee Simpson is the latest celebufluff to "design" her own line of t-shirts with yep, her face plastered all the front. I thought I'd put my marketing background to work and redesign her t-shirts to be more appealing:

Inspired by Ashlee's image of herself performing onstage as shown on her 100% rayon Twist Back Top, this punk-inspired edgy design is a more realistic portrayal of her singing career because it's the one performance everyone remembers.

I wasn't seeing the meaning in Ashlee's Little Miss Obsessive t-shirt (50% polyester!). I might be out of the loop - perhaps it's the name of a song off her new CD? Maybe she's obsessive? Can someone please explain? Anyway, with all the chatter about Ashlee's lip collagen, I thought this tee was much more appropriate.

She actually named one of her designs the Ashlee Zebra Face Tee. You can't make this stuff up.

An homage to Daddy. This sexy t-shirt features a flirty plunging neckline to show off your assets and is made with 100% spandex to hug your curves. Please be aware that sizes run small, so order accordingly.

Huge Rod Is What All Girls Dream About

Kipling West is a prolific artist who among other things, illustrates the spam she receives in her email box each week. Kipling says she's inspired by spam because she enjoys seeing the beauty and entertaining weirdness in something so intrusive and annoying. These two illustrations made me laugh and I wanted to share them with my readers. You can see more of her work on her blog Fresh Spam.

Stuff I Saw Yesterday

My lovely city of San Francisco is home to a wild flock of parrots who delight in nibbling the blossoms off flowering trees each Spring. Every day around 4:30pm, a flock of approximately 400 parrots descend onto a lush green park located near the waterfront and begin stuffing their beaks with flowers.

This little guy took this blossom right out of my hand. If you give them apples (and you aren't supposed to, but I sneak them in) they'll fly over and sit on your shoulders and atop your head.

These noisy birds have nearly stripped this tree of its blossoms. There's a nice Flickr set of much better Wild Parrots of San Francisco photos here and there's even been a documentary film made about them.

I was able to get some close up shots of them too.

Tom Cruise Goes to Pot

PRESCRIBING INFORMATION

TOM CRUISE PURPLE (as reported by the NY Daily News)

DESCRIPTION
Medical marijuana sold in vials featuring a picture of Tom Cruise laughing hysterically. Also known as most every picture taken of Tom Cruise. Distributed by licensed cannabis clubs in Northern California.

INDICATIONS
Antiemetic for the treatment of nausea and anorexia associated with treatments for cancer, AIDS, and hepatitis. Tom Cruise Purple also treats people who demonstrate signs of normalcy and turns them into cackling loons.

RECOMMENDED DOSAGE
Enough to make patients speak solely in unintelligible acronyms.

SIDE EFFECTS
God complex, fear of space aliens, couch-jumping, bowl haircut that spreads to rest of family, evil cackling, loss of respect, aversion to psychiatry, homophobia, sudden ability to be the only person who can help with accidents and control forces of nature.

Photo illustration by 14, text written by Candy Kirby.