If Rothko Had Painted Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt
Each time I glance at a photo of Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt, all I'm able to see is a blur of predictable colors (see below). Take for example all those ridiculousstagedphotos of them prancing about on the beach. Their hair dissolves into a floating rectangle of yellow-blonde. Exposed flesh translates into large amounts of peach and light orange, which dominates the image. If they're smiling, flashes of blinding white might appear. Depending on what color bikini Heidi is wearing, lurid infusions of hot pink or zebra print cuts through the monotony of the flesh and sand tones and reminds the viewer that they're almost naked, but not quite.
Mark Rothko (1903 - 1970) was a Russian born American artist best known for his large-scale paintings of cloud-like rectangular forms of color floating against a solid color background. I seriously doubt he'd find any interest in painting the vapidity and force-fed "entertainment" that Heidi and Spencer represent, but if he did choose to paint them, this is how I imagine the canvas would look. Medium: Oil on linen with a splash of digital paint.
Heidi and Spencer as they appear to me. Remarkably, you can still recognize them.
Wouldn't it be amusing to remove all the headlines from this Rolling Stone cover...except for the one on top?