You can always tell the summer months are upon us as soon as Star magazine's Best and Worst Beach Bodies issue hits the newsstands. The cover features a collection of celebrity bodies coupled with prominent yellow tags stating either "Best" or "Worst" depending on the amount of flab, the diameter of the waistline, or the presence of "moobs". Lucky photogs with cameras handy the moment they spot celebrity cellulite are rewarded handsomely for their catch. Once the sale is made (usually to a UK tabloid newspaper), the photo is seen by millions around the world after being posted on countless blogs, commented upon by the masses, and deemed newsworthy enough to appear on Fox News. The humiliated celebrity then issues a statement claiming the photo is "doctored" and reassures the public they're happy with their bodies. The body drama continues as Star slaps the photo in the Worst section of their beach bodies feature and includes a catty description. It's said the Best and Worst Bodies issue is one of Star's best sellers. Attention-hungry Phoebe Price was caught in the cross hairs and made the cover of Star as this season's best Worst body...probably not the kind of attention she wanted. Medium: ink, watercolor in sketchbook.
David Hasselhoff was deemed a Worst
beast beach body because of his "seriously scary chest" and was chided for going "way downhill since his beach-ruling TV heyday." He looks fine to me, although there is something about him that reminds me of the infamous Patterson photo of Bigfoot. Medium: exactly one hour spent smearing oil pastel and charcoal around on paper.
Poor old Janice Dickinson, Star magazine claims "nothing short of a burlap sack could disguise the world's mouthiest supermodel's beauty problems, from a crumply rear to her cups, which runneth under." Medium: pastel and pen on paper.