Gallery of the Absurd

The Backwoods Barbie

Over the past few weeks, Dolly Parton has been a prominent character in my work. While scrambling to finish my portrait of Dolly Parton for the Dollywood show in LA, a random editorial illustration job came across my desk -- and what was the subject? Dolly Parton, of course. Coincidence?

Knoxville's Metro Pulse wanted me to illustrate their cover and create a few smaller black and white illustrations of the bubbly country star. In addition to Dolly, other clients emerged at the same time, giving credence to that old maxim -- when it rains, it pours. I have nothing new to post since clients have demanded my time, so I thought I'd post a few artifacts of my Dollyfication over the past few weeks:

Dolly's first hair head shot.

Because Dolly feels she looked like Miss Piggy in Nine to Five, the art director asked that I draw her that way. He also wanted me to add a mysterious male figure in the background to suggest her reclusive husband the public rarely sees.

In addition to her sweet natured temperament, Dolly is also known for her bawdy humor. She often jokes that she looks and dresses like a prostitute. Medium: Ink, graphite, liquid pencil on paper.

What Must The Angry Claymate Think Now?

I get my fair share of hate mail, but the most vile is sent to me by the species of fan known as the Brangeloonie or the Claymate. I find them quite amusing because I picture what they must look like hunched over their keyboard, reddened with anger, frothing at the mouth while banging on the caps lock key. Below is my favorite hate mail ever. It was sent by "Donna", a Claymate who took great offense at my Clay Aiken trinket because it put me "in the ranks of the entire gay community."

If your intent was to demonstrate some 'slap-stick' type of humour at the expense of Clay Aiken and Clay's fans, you blew it, IMHO. You have now put yourself in the ranks of Perez Hilton, John Paulus, the National Enquirer ..and, that 'dlister' of infamy, Kathy Griffin...as well as the entire gay community. Congratulations. Not bad for a representative of the New York Times [huh?] I'm sure your paper is happy to share this exciting image with those wondrous personages mentioned above. [my paper? what is she talking about??]

If you based this story on 'this dlisted entry', as you claimed at the end of your article..and which is very obvious...you've contributed to inciting hate and perversity and directly, quite likely, to the traumatization of young teens who could very likely be attracted to this article...innocently linked to your spoof. Again, I must congratulate you. You must feel really clean inside exposing them to the mechanics of 'gay sex' as the responders to your 'article of inspiration' so explicitly described.

Poor Donna, she must be shocked and awed over Clay's coming out as gay. I really wanted to draw what she must look like, but am buried in client work this week and couldn't get around to it. I bet she's sitting in her trinket-cluttered living room, gazing up at her Thomas Kinkade painting as she angrily tears up her Clay Aiken ticket stubs and memorabilia while muttering "what has this world come to". A half eaten box of Keebler Fudge cookies are her only comfort on this sad dark day.

GOTA Trickery Fools International Newspaper

Much to my delight, an alert reader has informed me that the NY Edition of The Metro has used my Urban Satchel in a fluff article about women's handbags. When I first saw it, I thought it was an Onion-type parody newspaper -- but it's real. Not only did they use my image as an illustration, they included my fakery under "Purse Facts". Unbelievable! I created that bag after gluing collected trash (including a shrimp tail and a used band-aid) onto an old purse AND I deliberately misspelled "Louie Vuitton" - which they printed. That's almost as bad as the German TV show that featured our images of the Stella McCartney Heather Mills Jewelry Collection on their morning show as the real thing. Makes you wonder what other trickery the media publicizes as fact. Thanks Laura.

Dolly Parton Art Show Announcement: Dollypop

The WOW Storefront Gallery folks put on some of the most entertaining and fun pop culture-themed art shows in Los Angeles and I'm pleased to be included in their latest - Dollypop, a celebration of beloved country star Dolly Parton. Opening this Friday, Sept. 12 in conjunction with with the premiere of the Broadway adaptation of Parton's 9 to 5: The Musical, at the Ahmanson Theater in downtown Los Angeles. I hear they're transforming the gallery into a country barn jamboree, complete with bales of hay and chickens. Oh my, I think I may have to attend this show. My painting appears above, but all the sparkling, glittery, iridescent paint I used doesn't show up on the monitor. It's very sparkly, just like Dolly. Medium: acrylic, iridescent ink and glitter on paper. Size 11 x 14 framed.