MTV documentary, Britney Spears revealed her desire to escape from the glare of the paparazzi by moving to her own private island. "That would be heaven - to have my kids on an island, and a man, and nobody can get to us." Sensing that Brit already had the island and has been keeping it a secret, we sent our reporters to remote areas of the South Pacific in order to track it down. What we found was astounding -- an unassuming island has indeed been transformed into a Britney Spears pleasure palace. Since The Isle of Britney is wired with sensors immediately disabling any camera for miles, we asked our cartographer to create a map we could share with our readers. As you can see, the singer has spared no expense to create her own island fantasy. State-of-the-art security surrounds a mega mansion featuring a recording studio, gym, skating rink, nightclub, and a Italian stone fountain gurgling with Red Bull. The grounds feature paved trails so Brit can indulge her kids in their favorite activity; being pulled around in a wagon. The sun drenched white sands of Possum Island, located near the Sea of Frappuccino is where Britney spends most her time sunning and enjoying the nearby Taco Bell tiki hut. To make herself feel more at home when nature calls, she's installed a replica of a filthy gas station bathroom. Her bothersome father lives in a tent out near the Strait of Y'all.
The most amazing spectacle on the Isle of Britney is the Food Court Reef. It's no wonder Britney has taken up deep sea diving - the reef is brimming with her favored food sources such as the delicious spicy Taco Trout, juicy Cheeseburger Clams, and most astounding, the Jumbo Fries Coral featuring schools of cute little Ketchup Packet Fish especially adapted to live among the stalks of golden fried goodness. Medium: ink, acrylic, photo collage. Much thanks to Candy for the gas station bathroom idea.