Muttell Corporation has developed a new line of collectible Blarbie dolls that truly reflect the public drama and vast talent of today's most popular tabloid celebrities. Debuting the collection is the tragic Jessica "Jilted Jessica" Simpson doll. Poor Jessica can't seem to ever celebrate a proper birthday party because her boyfriend always seems to dump her on her special day. Each doll comes dressed in an adorable chest baring top, high-waisted denim shorts, and a pair of charming little cowboy boots and includes a festive gaping froggie birthday cake and matching balloons - so cute!
Jilted Jessica accessories are also available to enhance your collection. A gallon tub of Melancholy Chunk premium ice cream along with a specially made wide-mouth spoon/garden spade will help soothe Jilted Jessica as she pines over her lost love and dashed dreams.
Use the Tony Romo Voodoo Doll to allow Jilted Jessica to continue jinxing his game and to humiliate and shame the Dallas Cowboys. He'll be sorry he ever dumped her! Medium: digital.
is this a game? i am not sure.
Posted by: wow accounts | August 19, 2009 at 06:57 AM
Oh my..Those mouth wide open and the cryin' face of Chestica are priceless. Every time I see her I can't stop thinking of your friend Jeff Polage. :-)
Hugs from Italy!
Posted by: Sonia | July 30, 2009 at 09:17 AM
Ummmm......"MOM SHORTS"????????? "Diaphram Spoon"?????? El boots? So many details, so little time!
All I can say is, I love you a bushel and a peck!
Posted by: Vern | July 27, 2009 at 06:27 PM
Just another "Hollydon't" washup. I really do wish these "stars" would just pack their bags and leave L.A.. Does Jessica not realize what a sad joke she has become? It's not too late, save yourself Jess and LEAVE TOWN. Also, what's up with those brown boots? They look borrowed from Britney Spears (do we recall how obsessed she was with her ratty ol'brown boots? Strange, both of these faux blondes seem to like the denim short thing with brown boots. Nice work 14, very clever "Muttel" and you know their tag line "you know it's swell, if it's Muttel"!!!
Posted by: Ann | July 27, 2009 at 05:53 PM
He'll play so much better now that she's gone.
Posted by: Larz Blackman | July 27, 2009 at 12:35 PM
She's not really destroyed, or crushed and wanting him back after her father set her up to marry a big time football star! In fact .. the end of their ships that sail by in the night and occassionally bump for fun; jessica had done just about every girly girl gets her man catching routine on Tony to impress him to lust and go crazy for her.. but got nervous and bored because he came and left when he liked, mainly just wanted to have sex and accept her gifts, eat a meal.. while she baby talked and gushed out all her fantacies, flatteries and compliments over how wonderful he is.. He'd agree, smile, laugh at all the negative publicity about their odd coupling and not fight back or protest the slander of the press and his fans.. and would not become a frenzied besotted lover she desired, give her tons of lovely gifts, compliments and take her out to the best and finest places so she could get dressed up or get engaged on very romantic holidays.. sooooo, naughty girl contacted her ex-john and hoped that Tony would find out and that pretend cheat silliness did get Tonys' immediate attention. He eagerly dumped her without another concern and is extremely happy being single again. That's my Dating a woman with good looks, little intelligence. Ignore the “dumb” by focusing on the “hot” theory.
Posted by: Killershoes | July 27, 2009 at 05:15 AM
I'm not a fan of Jessica Simpson, but I do feel sorry for her. She tries so hard but it always seems to backfire on her in a public and humiliating way. Maybe she needs to leave the business for a while.
Tony, on the other hand, more than deserves to be skewered like the worm he is.
Posted by: Peta | July 26, 2009 at 10:04 PM
Oh those frog balloons are the cherry on the cake. And the wide-mouth spoon! The world would be a boring, boring place without you.
Posted by: Jenn F. | July 23, 2009 at 09:00 PM
a competitor, smuttell, is making a life-sized, blow-up version, i understand ...
Posted by: scungilli | July 22, 2009 at 06:54 PM
I am so sick and tired of how the fucking media love a "woman scorned" and have to beat that shit in the ground over and over again.
Posted by: sweet subversion | July 20, 2009 at 08:28 PM
The ol' skewer's as sharp as evah...Love the Magilla Gorilla arms on Romo, and bringing back the Frog mouth, leitmotif-style? It's the ginchiest.
Posted by: Viper Tetsu | July 20, 2009 at 07:46 PM
I like the Tony Romo Voodoo Doll but it's sad I can't buy that now. I don't want my baby girl play with it or see me playing with it. =)
Posted by: baby hair bows | July 20, 2009 at 05:42 PM
LOL. Did I mention LMAO? It's good for the glutes.
Posted by: red | July 20, 2009 at 12:56 PM
Awesome! Where can I get one? *whips out credit card*
Posted by: rinaz | July 20, 2009 at 11:53 AM
I see you are back in better form than ever, 14! Wonderful! xo k
Posted by: Knox Bronson | July 20, 2009 at 11:34 AM