Gallery of the Absurd

Real Time Photographic Evidence of CNN's Spectacular Demise

Tonight I walked past a TV and saw tired old Anderson Cooper STILL flapping his gums about Michael Jackson. I stood for a while and watched as "expert" after "expert" was paraded in front of the camera, each with their own long drawn out opinion over how Jackson may have died. After a few minutes, I began to feel my brain rot, so I quickly took a photo and uploaded it.  Later they showed a YouTube video of a bunny that walks like a human. Hard news for soft minds.

Celebrity Train Wreck Doll Collection: Jessica Simpson

Muttell Corporation has developed a new line of collectible Blarbie dolls that truly reflect the public drama and vast talent of today's most popular tabloid celebrities. Debuting the collection is the tragic Jessica "Jilted Jessica" Simpson doll.  Poor Jessica can't seem to ever celebrate a proper birthday party because her boyfriend always seems to dump her on her special day. Each doll comes dressed in an adorable chest baring top, high-waisted denim shorts, and a pair of charming little cowboy boots and includes a festive gaping froggie birthday cake and matching balloons - so cute!

Jilted Jessica accessories are also available to enhance your collection. A gallon tub of Melancholy Chunk premium ice cream along with a specially made wide-mouth spoon/garden spade will help soothe Jilted Jessica as she pines over her lost love and dashed dreams.

Use the Tony Romo Voodoo Doll to allow Jilted Jessica to continue jinxing his game and to humiliate and shame the Dallas Cowboys. He'll be sorry he ever dumped her! Medium: digital.

CNN Breaking News: Michael Jackson Still Dead

It's getting to the point where I can't tell the difference between TMZ and CNN.  Anderson Cooper should just go ahead and deliver the nightly news while holding his sippy cup and using a green pen to scrawl out the nightly headlines as the news staff cracks clever quips.  Why just today CNN is enlightening us with fluffy trivialities such a report about psychics who see "magic" in Jackson's life and a portrait of Jackson's pill consumption. Medium: graphite scrawl with digital color. Much thanks to Holly for the inspiration.