It sprang to life after a barefoot pop star dropped a cheeto on the floor of a public restroom located in a gas station just outside of Malibu. The filthy floor combined with the moist bathroom environment formed a petri dish of primordial ooze just waiting for the right element to spark it to life. When the cheeto hit the floor, the bright day-glo orange dust bonded together and formed a strange bipedal creature with wide-set glassy eyes in search of bright day-glo orange things to consume. When its mouth isn't being used for purposes of consuming or lip syncing, it can often be observed forming a curious grimace.Two bag-like protrusions hang listlessly from its torso and its straw-like "hair" attracts birds for its ideal nest building material. While the creature is often spotted barefoot, it can often be observed wearing torn fishnet stockings or rotted old boots. Scientists aren't sure why it appeals to so many people worldwide, but some speculate that it might be a mind-control Disney zombie set loose to mesmerize and distract the masses. Sounds like the most logical explanation.
Disclaimer: This is NOT a portrait of Britney Spears, it's a portrayal of a Britney Spears chimera created from the very best scraps of her sordid gossip. Britney fans need not worry about their precious idol being vilified. Okay, I'll admit it, I'm rather fond of Britney myself - which is why I chose her to be first in my series of Gossip Monsters. Medium: graphite and acrylic on paper, digital color.
Haha..Britney reinvented :D
Posted by: Proactol Scam | June 09, 2010 at 01:41 AM
It is Britney ! Or maybe Lindsday Lohan ? :P Mayby both even looks like :P
Posted by: Funny | April 20, 2010 at 10:11 AM
Love this blog but when are you updating? I check in all the time and am disappointed to see the same thing day after day. Please keep up the good work!
Posted by: Shamie | April 19, 2010 at 06:25 AM
LMAO!
Posted by: Jae Xavier @ Knowledgecity.com | April 08, 2010 at 04:36 PM
Dear 14,
I looked at the creature, and then read her history, laughed out loud, and then checked to see if the fisnet had a hole in it. Of course I was not disappointed as our girl wouldn't dream of wearing new fishnets. There's just something soooooooo cheesy about fishnets, and I only wish we had interactive scents, as I'm sure the aroma oozing from the crotch would be the icing on Britney's cake, or pie, or cupcake, or chooch. Too funny14. I can't wait for Kate plus hate monster, but how would you embellish the horror.! I love the new monsters. You made my bum hum.
Posted by: Glenn Maguire | April 08, 2010 at 02:45 PM
this is so cute!
Posted by: obd code reader | April 07, 2010 at 04:00 AM
I love it and I wish Britney looked like this in real life. It'd be an improvement.
Posted by: Fryda | March 31, 2010 at 11:57 AM
:O You got a strange, strange mind 14. We love ya anyway/because of it though.
Posted by: Rockabore | March 30, 2010 at 03:01 PM
I like this blog. The Simon Cowel Viagra deal is fantastic. Keep up the great posts.
Posted by: JadeDragon@innovativepassiveincome | March 27, 2010 at 10:20 PM
Yay Bionic! You had me at "cucumber"!
I'll ride your train any day!
I concur with your assessment of Fab 14's capturing Brit so well. Uncanny.
Love and Lysol,
Vernella
Posted by: Vern | March 26, 2010 at 08:09 AM
Yay Bionic! You had me at "cucumber"!
I'll ride your train any day!
I concur with your assessment of Fab 14's capturing Brit so well. Uncanny.
Love and Lysol,
Vernella
Posted by: Vern | March 26, 2010 at 08:09 AM
Vern, that just about knocked my socks off. You clever little cucumber, you. Chim-Chimera Chim-Chimera Chim-Chim Cherroo. When it comes to GOTA commenters, I choo-choo choose you.
Dearest 14, I cannot believe you managed to make that orange petri growth look exactly like Britney, even at a quick glance. That is the most amusing thing I've seen all day. And it's been a riot of a day.
Posted by: Bionic Squirrel | March 25, 2010 at 11:04 PM
We're all familiar witht the line:
God is in the details.
I think it actually goes:
GOTA is in the details!
Posted by: Vern | March 25, 2010 at 08:29 AM
Isn't this like, two years too late? Just sayin.
Posted by: christie | March 24, 2010 at 03:11 PM
Chim Chimera
Chim Chimera
Chim Chim Cher-eee
A Cheetos as lucky
as lucky can be...
Chim Chimera
Chim Chimera
Chim Chim Cher-ooo
Orange dust will rub off
When I shake my butt for you
Or blow you a kiss-
now, that's orange too.
I used to sing and dance
up on a stage
Now, a fetid bathroom
serves as my stage.
I live through the pap
in a room vile and dank
but don't cry for me
I laugh at the bank.
Chim Chimera
Chim Chimera
Chim Chim Cher-eee
Life's a trailer park
when your name is
Britney.
Posted by: Vern | March 24, 2010 at 11:18 AM
A lot of work went into this piece and the research! By golly! Will there be a Cult of 14?
Posted by: midi | March 24, 2010 at 10:43 AM
I'm a big fan,......... of the "Gossip Monsters!!!"
Posted by: The Mave | March 24, 2010 at 07:50 AM
References to Greek mythology, fishnet stockings, and cheetos; all in the same place. What a lovely universe this is.
Lobbying--hard--for Webster's to include this pic as an illustration of the word 'gawping'. Damn fine gawping mouth.
And as I've noted before: water hurts less than milk when you laugh so hard that you snort it through your mouth.
Posted by: Viper Tetsu | March 23, 2010 at 04:46 PM
I love the concept of this piece- very creative. Can't wait to see the rest of the series. Keep it up! :)
Posted by: lameo | March 23, 2010 at 03:16 PM