When that empty-headed, knuckle-dragging Little League coach came forward to boast about having an affair with Larry King's wife in Larry King's bedroom while watching the Larry King show, an unfortunate image emblazoned itself in my tender innocent brain. I was reminded of how I felt when I used to sneak peaks at the cartoons in my Dad's hidden Playboy stash. Feeling slightly shocked and confused upon first viewing, I would later erupt into uncontrolled giggles and then quickly shove the magazines back into his sock drawer before being caught.
I saw Hector Penate humping Shawn Southwick, her giant mouth unhinged in screams of pleasure, their writhing bodies illuminated in the cold glare of Larry's giant head looming over them on the big screen TV. As they tossed each other around on Larry's satin sheet-bedecked adjustable bed, they were careful not to knock over the glass containing Larry's floating dentures perched on his crowded pharmaceutical nightstand. Hector was so sexually charged by the warthog-like glowing visage of Larry's scowling mug that he bursts into o-face like a wolf howling at the moon. Larry's monogrammed velvet slippers sit neatly beside the bed, unaware of the carnal sin and forbidden pleasure ensuing above. Medium: digital painting on top of graphite sketch.
Is he going to get a spread in Vanity Fair too? I mean, they did one for Tiger's hos. Why not give him a shot?
Posted by: Leo the Yardie Chick | May 10, 2010 at 01:47 PM
Q: Where do snowmen dance?
A: At the snowball!
Why, yes, I DO get my jokes from popsicle sticks. How'd ya know?
Posted by: Vern | May 02, 2010 at 10:04 AM
Her face looks like a blowup doll to me. Me likey!
Posted by: Dave | May 02, 2010 at 08:19 AM
Thanks so much!
The words "Larry King" and "Sex" are highly difficult images to visualize together and should never be combined, but they seemed to have stimulated something in my depraved brain and I needed a laugh or two to wake me up from the stupor of stress I'm battling right now. I should send Larry a thank you note for convulsing me into laughter over this shameless public airing of his filthy dirty laundry. Thank you Larry!!!!
ESM: Yeah, I know. Typo stays 'cause it fits.
xoxo
14
Posted by: 14 | May 01, 2010 at 07:55 PM
"sneak peaks"?
Posted by: esm | May 01, 2010 at 06:54 PM
Heh heh, that's about it! Wow.
Posted by: midi | April 30, 2010 at 04:54 PM
like Banquo's ghost....
Posted by: Saffy | April 30, 2010 at 06:39 AM
One more thing, Genius 14. Everyone here in the comments section's observations concerning the hillarious look on Southwick's face couldn't be more right. When I hit the jump and got an eyeball full of real life version, I had trouble holding back a triple shot frap spit take from splashing my laptop screen. WOW, that's some funny stuff!
Posted by: MJed Lance Von T. | April 28, 2010 at 05:32 PM
Jesus Christ in Baggy Jeans and a Wife Beater, nothin' but NOTHIN' can dampen that snarky wit. Customarily Brill, baby.
I dunno which one disturbs me more: The guy for whom the whole Fame-Huffing Opportunistic Horndog Poolboy stereotype was invented; or the reptilian-faced manequin he's been schtuppin'.
Does her jaw distend, and does she swallow rats whole like that man-jawed brunette in the old V miniseries? If not, please draw it, at least...pleaseohpleaseohplease...
Posted by: Viper Tetsu | April 27, 2010 at 10:23 PM
How could they not get in the mood with things like Preparation H and Metamucil on the bedstand? Her face is priceless.
Posted by: Bionic Squirrel | April 27, 2010 at 07:49 PM
Penate seems like a dick hope Larry gets his revenge.
Posted by: Steroids Blog | April 27, 2010 at 08:10 AM
Aaaaaggghhhhh!!!!!!!
When I first saw your piece, I hadn't seen 'lover-boy', but, was flipping channels (while on the phone, I know, rude) and I saw queasimodo moving his lips!
*spinning, a little dizzy*
I realized two important things:
1. You have done it AGAIN, Miss Fourteen!
You have rendered this unholy trio hilariously, and yet, with your uncanny ability, you have actually made them look MORE attractive then they appear in 'reel' life!
Fagulous!
2. Drawbridge Mouth has REALLY bad taste in men.
Posted by: Vern | April 27, 2010 at 07:57 AM
"Wonderfulness Personified Returns!!!" "Welcome Back!!!,(,... and love the table contents & the shoes)!"
Posted by: The Mave | April 26, 2010 at 04:52 PM
Wow 14, let no one ever accuse you of not being able to make a return from a haitus in a big way! Beautiful artwork as always, but the gruesome details you described seeing in your vision are horrifying (not to mention side-splittingly funny!). One question though. Which is worse?-that they did the deed in LK's bed, or that LK's dinosaur scaled body sweat may have already soaked those satin sheets before the naughty couple's clandestine activities? UGH, either way! Another killer posting, 14. You rule it all with style!
Posted by: MJed Lance Von T. | April 26, 2010 at 01:42 PM
What a coincidence! This is how the hubby and I get in the mood, to!
Posted by: Vern | April 26, 2010 at 01:25 PM
oooo, I like that image, Erik!
xox
14
Posted by: 14 | April 26, 2010 at 10:42 AM
I've often wondered if Larry King shouts his own name during sex? Because we know ain't nobody else gonna! This is a funny image, 14! Maybe the next one on Larry King should be a take on Humpty Dumpty but instead of an egg he could be a giant Viagra pill that doesn't have the power to erectify King's kingpin. I can already see it in my head, wish I could just download a copy and send it off to you.
Posted by: Erik | April 26, 2010 at 10:18 AM