Gallery of the Absurd: Big Sis Wants To Scare The Hell Into You

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If you've managed to avoid the incessant exposure to the Charlie Sheen feeding frenzy currently dominating all media, then perhaps you might have noticed the growing presence of the fear machine known as the U.S Department of Homeland Security. You can find it lurking in scary places such as Wal-Mart, airport security, city sidewalks and there's even claims it will soon be collecting and databasing our DNA. I first noticed something was amiss when I was forced to set foot in Wal-Mart recently. As I stood in line breaking out in hives from all the toxic Chinese chemicals wafting about, I looked up and saw Janet Napolitano, AKA Big Sis, looming on a screen over me. Suddenly The Fear took hold. Big Sis was urging shoppers to look around and report anything suspicious. Trembling with anxiety, I dared to look around and soon spotted a highly suspicious grandfatherly character dressed as the Easter Bunny, his clothing completely covered in candy-colored dangling Easter eggs....or were they grenades? Gripped with terror, I saw a prison escapee, a genetically modified human marshmallow (surely the work of evil scientist counter-terrorists), a hirsute separatist and other highly suspicious characters threatening my safety and security. Big Sis did such an effective job in scaring the living daylights out me that I made a propaganda poster in her honor. Medium: Ink on paper, digital color.

Comments

I love you 14!

Posted by: mandy | April 15, 2011 at 02:12 PM

Brilliant!

Posted by: Vinogirl | April 08, 2011 at 08:12 AM

Aside from your fantastic illustration, I think the genetically modified human marshmallow and the hirsute separatist were the most snicker-inducing. But all heehees aside, that message from Janet Napolitano was just so frighteningly Orwell's 1984.

Posted by: Bionic Squirrel | March 27, 2011 at 07:37 PM

So much for "clit pride" ....

Posted by: sweet subversion | March 13, 2011 at 06:38 PM

STOP THE PRESSES!!!

14, you shop at WALMart?... ATTA GIRL!

If you see something suspicious in the parking lot OR in the store...

http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/?page_id=9798

Posted by: FJL | March 07, 2011 at 03:41 PM

Right on!

Posted by: Neroli | March 06, 2011 at 05:38 PM

Speaking of Charlie Sheen (I know, grist for the mill as it were), this guy's about two tics out from his own daytime talkshow with Mel Gibson and Sarah Palin. Wrap your mind around that spectacle of frosty minded pundits. At any rate, I'm so glad to have your genius laden wit to smooth the harder edges of the gate keeper driven style of reporting that's so prevalent in today's media. You're the coolest 14!

Posted by: Lance Von T | March 06, 2011 at 12:18 PM

You know, like "Charlotte's web"
"Some Pig."

Posted by: Vern | March 05, 2011 at 09:18 PM

Well, this IS Sum (some) Bit.
xoxo

Posted by: Vern | March 05, 2011 at 09:17 PM

The original one I posted had SUMBIT.

SUM BIT.

Ha!

I quickly slapped a corrected version up there. I've never been known for my spelling prowess and grammatical elegance. SIgh.

xoxox

Posted by: 14 | March 05, 2011 at 09:30 AM

Sally-
Submit is spelled correctly. What am I missing?

PS: Love the "Big Sis" image, 14, its magical!

Posted by: Vern | March 05, 2011 at 09:15 AM

No, it was spelled incorrectly because I have been dumbed down by too much mass media consumption and while I've backed off from it, I'm still in recovery. Thanks for pointing it out. None of my trusted proofers saw it either, so thank you Sally!

love,

14 the Zombie Sheep

Posted by: 14 | March 05, 2011 at 08:26 AM