Ralph Lauren, the designer known for creating yawn-inducing clothing for middle class esteem seekers, has been under fire lately for the almost comical heavy-handed photoshopping of one of his models. To make matters worse, the model used in the ad has just been fired by Ralph Lauren for being too fat. Ralph Lauren claims Filippa Hamilton's size 8, 120lb body was too huge to fit into his clothes so he fired her. Since Ralphie Boy likes his women skeletal, he should consider replacing his models with a fleet of life-size skeleton models. They don't eat, don't complain, and best of all, they have wheels! This makes it easy for he and his stylists to push them around the lawns of country manors and yacht clubs for photo-shoots. By using life-size skeleton models, he'll never have a problem with fit nor will he waste time and money photoshopping his models to look skeletal. Problem solved.
While I'm on the subject of Ralph "Lauren", I'd also like to suggest he start using his real name: Ralph Lipshitz. I suppose the fake "Lauren" sounds more aristocratic than "Lipshitz", but I'd actually consider buying his clothes if I got to ask, "Excuse me, can you tell me where the Ralph Lipshitz clothing is located?" LIPSHITZ! Say it! It's wonderful! He really missed out on cashing in on his real last name, but I suppose since he's all about fakery and perceived affluent lifestyle, it wouldn't have worked out as well. Medium: disastrous photoshop schlockery
