Gallery of the Absurd

Is Brad Angie's Boy Toy?

Star magazine provides much of the inspiration for the work I post on this blog. I flip open the magazine and find endless amounts of material to fuel my absurd paintings of celebrity gossip. They were kind enough to print my Brad Pitt Pull Toy in their News of the Week feature.....so of course I had to create a painting out of it. Here we see Brad disagreeing over his portrayal as Angie's boy toy. Medium: Acrylic and ink painted directly onto page 30 of the April 24 issue of Star magazine.

If Dali Had Painted Angelina Jolie

One of my favorite Salvador Dali paintings is Sleep. I place Angelina Jolie in this painting because she's larger than life and needs several Daliesque pedestals to support her fame. Not only is she considered one of the most beautiful women in the world, she also donates time, money and energy toward the betterment of others. Her qualities of rebellious vixen combined with doting mother generate intrigue and devout fandom. Medium: Oil on board.

Angelina Jolie's Subservient Pull Toy

Brad Pitt has gone from sexiest man alive to subservient, pitiful yes-man who does whatever his girlfriend says. Ever since he met Angelina, he seems to have completely forgotten his self-identity. Don't believe us? Consider the following:

Angelina wears dark clothes, and what do you know.....Brad has started wearing dark clothes.
Angelina is a pilot....and SURPRISE! Brad wants to be a pilot.
Angelina is a Goodwill Ambassador, now Brad wants to be a Goodwill Ambassador.
AND.... the most obvious example of Brad's spineless metamorphosis can be observed in how Angelina grabs his hand and leads the way at each and every photo op. Brad is a pull toy, a handsome man on wheels who tends and entertains the kids while Angelina dazzles.

Curious about the shiny red button on the Pull Toy's back? Press it and Pull Toy happily responds:

"Yes dear."
"Whatever makes you happy, dear."
"I agree with you dear, excellent idea."
"Whatever you say dear."

Medium: Ink on paper, digital color.

Invasion of the Husband Snatchers

Angelina Jolie and Tori Spelling represent two factors that may contribute to luring a man away from his wife: Beauty and Power. That's especially true in Hollywood.  Strike fear into the hearts of your married pals when you choose to wear one of these Celebrity Halloween Masks to a Hollywood costume party.  Throw on the Angelina mask and watch the room grow silent as all eyes fall upon you in awe. Try the Tori mask (be sure to switch on the battery powered flashing Daddy's Money tiara so industry folks will really notice you) and witness how everyone stops their conversation and comes running toward you.