Gallery of the Absurd

Pat Robertson Makes a Pact With the Devil

The doddering and delusional Pat Robertson has once again revealed his vile ignorance after claiming the earthquake and subsequent heartbreaking human suffering was all caused by Haiti's 200 year-old "pact with the devil." I could be wrong, but in my opinion, a true Christian leader wouldn't rush to judgement or blame, they would rush to help those in need. Seems to me that Pat Robertson is more aligned with the "dark side". Much apologies to the Rider-Waite tarot deck for sullying The Devil card with the image of Pat Robertson, but I figured it would piss him off if he ever saw it. Mission accomplished.  Media: Graphite on paper, digital color, photoshop.

Vincent Gallo's ATM Machine

Vincent Gallo offers his sperm for sale on the "merchandise" area of his web site. If you'd like your future child to possess delusions of grandeur and inflated ego, this is the opportunity for you!   You can buy his precious body fluid for only $1,000,000 and you get to experience his 8" cash withdrawal machine.  But wait, if you have an "extremely dark complexion", Mr. Gallo isn't interested in selling his sperm to you. Gallo prefers a blonde with blue eyes and is prepared to knock $50,000 off his asking price if she can "prove" she's natural. Come on fair haired ladies, line up for this once in a lifetime chance!

Paris Hilton: American Royalty

Paris Hilton was recently quoted as saying "I'm the closest thing to American royalty."  Wow, that's quite the statement. I'm sure Americans everywhere are brimming with pride as our royal highness Princess Paris shamelessly dangles and shimmies her unbearable dullness in a vapid lap dance for the world to see. According to our beloved, yet delusional Princess, royalty is characterized by shilling herself out to low grade hamburger chains, starring in a sex video, and babbling "that's hot" because she can't come up with anything else to say.  Princess Paris claims she wants to "build an empire" with her "brand" and 14 predicts it will look a lot like Wal-Mart.

Puff Doodles the Clown

The ostentatious and egotistical media clown appears in public dripping in diamonds and wearing custom-made suits while inexplicably wearing a ridiculous plastic crown on his head and a fur coat.  He's also been spotted jet skiing around his yacht in Cannes while wearing a fluffy white bathrobe.  Are we supposed to take him seriously?

All that showing off..... and yet the mouth will not close.

Star magazine recently ran this photo of P. Dingles pouring $300 bottles of Cristal champange all over the floor. I altered it a little bit because I heard the Diddy gets angry as a snake when anyone dares to point out his folly.

Star Jones Wants Everything for Free

At least that's what the tabloids claim.  It was reported that Star, aka "Bridezilla" and her husband Al Reynolds paid almost nothing for her extravagantly expensive sponsored wedding.  Apparently, she promised sponsors a free plug on The View in exchange for things like $6,000 cakes and exotic honeymoons.  I would have loved to have drawn her as Bridezilla, but I thought Ursula the Sea Witch was a more appropriate metaphor.  She can use all those tentacles to grab all the free stuff she wants - even a husband!