Gallery of the Absurd

Valentino: The Orange Glow of Elegance

Famed Italian fashion designer Valentino Garavani has become my latest Muse/obsession. While Karl Lagerfeld will always be number one in my heart, it's Valentino's supremely stylish elegance combined with his habit of slathering himself in gallons of glowing orange self-tanner that appeals to me. His finely-crafted lacquered pompadour that does not move in even the most furious of tempests sits elegantly atop the Class X solar flare that is his face. Valentino is occasionally seen with a herd of devoted pugs who often travel with him in his private jet. Valentino is radiant and shiny, and quite simply, I'm attracted to radiant shiny things. Medium: graphite on paper, digital paint.

The Courtney Love Fungus

Crazy Courtney Love is one of my favorite celebrity tabloid subjects to paint. This time around, I noticed there was something fungus-like about her. I'll often hike in the woods after the rain and am amazed at the variety of colorful, wonderland-like fungus sprouting up among the rotting logs and lush moss. They are brightly colored, alien-like, dangerous and scary - just like Courtney. Her neck appears a thick, milky white stalk. A large scarlet mass of pillowy, shiny growth sprouts menacingly off her face. Her hair, a tangled mess of mildewed, ghostly filaments blowing in the howling wind. I find fungus to be quite beautiful in its own way, but like Courtney, is best observed from a distance. Medium: graphite on paper, digital color, done for Caricaturama Showdown 3000.

Random Portrait of the Week: Buddy Hackett

My friend and frequent GOTA contributor Bob Lizarraga and I decided to pay a little homage to the late great comedian Buddy Hackett. I always wanted to start a band called Buddy and the Hacketts, but I suppose I'll have to make due with drawing him. Medium: Image above by 14, pen and ink wash. Image below by Bob, acrylic.

A Portrait of Stephen King...

This is what I imagine he looks like right before he seizes upon an idea for a new horror novel. Medium: graphite, digital paint. Click image to enlarge.

Sharon Stone Wears Kooky Outfits

I've been goofing around and neglecting my work for the last few weeks, but sometimes it's necessary to retreat into total hermetic hibernation lockdown mode in order to recover from all the auto-tuned regurgitated pop-culture dreck Jersey Shore-ing around out there. Better now!  I have nothing new to post other than this unfinished Sharon Stone portrait I whipped up while playing with the many talented folks over at Caricaturama Showdown 3000. New work coming soon.  Medium: Graphite on paper, digital paint.

Practice, Practice, Practice

I took a little time this holiday weekend to practice digital painting techniques using my Wacom tablet. I still need many hours of practice, but here's what I worked on today. More celeb nonsense coming soon - look for Jeff Polage doing his Heidi Montag impression tomorrow, and then later in the week, a fresh look at Jack Nicholson. Medium: wacom tablet, photoshop.

Sketchbook Chronicles: Forget Crabs, Paris Hilton Has Worms

From this week’s episode of “Hollywood Geographic”:

Biologists have recently unearthed a new species of worm: the Heiress Worm Lips. The worm lips, as seen here on Paris Hilton, are oversized, fright-inducing invertebrate that thrive as parasites on attention-hungry heiresses. Heiress Worm Lips are considered larger than humanly possible, and typically filled with Restylane. This species has little substance outside of the injected collagen and has difficulty forming big words. Worm lips can be found blowing kisses to photographers, wrapping themselves around bongs, kissing the butts of B-movie directors and latching on to Rick Salomon in the best-selling DVD, 1 Night in Paris.

In everyday language, the term worm is also applied to various other living forms, such as larvae, centipedes, shipworms and Joe Simpson. medium: ink and gouache in sketchbook, digital color, text written by Holy Candy.

Jack Nicholson: Believe It or Not

I always loved Robert Ripley's cartoon panels documenting stories of the strange and unusual. It's amazing how perfectly the formula works when using the "news" presented in trashy celebrity tabloids and blogs. Medium: ink on paper, digital text.

Pedro Almodovar Poses With His Oscars

A few months ago, Spanish newspaper El Mundo commissioned me to paint a portrait of Pedro Almodovar, Penelope Cruz and Antonio Banderas for their weekly magazine. Most of the work that appears on this absurd blog is inspired by gossip, but occasionally I feel like posting illustrations of artists I admire. I tried to find some gossip about Mr. Almodovar, but all I could dig up were friendly barbs about his impressive head of hair. Sources from El Mundo tell me Pedro lives his life to the fullest and can often be found holding court in nightclubs and restaurants while surrounded by adoring friends and fans. Pedro grew up poor and without means to pursue his dream of film directing, but despite his limitations, he never allowed himself to be knocked off course. He worked several odd jobs and even spent 12 years working as an adminstrative assistant for Spain's national telephone company while he created experimental short films during after hours. In 1980, he made his first feature film using his friends as volunteers and later went on to win his first Oscar (Best Foreign Language Film) in 1999. Today, Mr. Almodovar has receieved over 83 film awards and dozens of nominations. I'm told his home country of Spain considers him a national treasure. Medium: acrylic and ink on board. THANK YOU: Bitch magazine featured Gallery of the Absurd in their quarterly "Bitch List". They said my paintbrush is "skilled in grotesquery and doused with verve" and I couldn't be more flattered. Also, much thanks to the arty Italian street magazine Stirato for using my work in their 7 Deadly Celebrity Sinners feature. Stirato unfolds from a magazine into a giant, visually saturated poster. Put your glasses on and take a look here.

A Case of The Pot Calling The Kettle Black

Punk legend John Lydon lashed out at Sting by calling him a "soggy old dead carcass" and an "old fart". Lydon, no spring chicken himself, complained that listening to Sting squeak through Roxanne was like letting air out of a balloon. Celebrity feuds carried out in the public arena are often entertaining, but no one pulls them off as well as the Brits. The rather corpse-like Lydon also grumbled about Amy Winehouse and Pete Doherty. "There's no much going on in their head...They obviously don't like what they're doing and that's why you turn to drugs." Sounds like the Punk Rock legend has turned into a grumpy old man. Medium: ink on paper, digital color.