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he's like dorian gray


My dearest colleagues and rastafarians... I regret to announce that I might be the scapegoateworthy bearer of somewhat "bad" news: I have at least two close personal celebrity friends (not including O. David Russell) each of whom I shall only refer to only in the first person plural and only as the fictionalized names "Jude" and "George" respectively suggest; who as reliably conveyed to me by ALLRIGHT magazine, and have been long-time possible galpals who together share a cheap flat for tweenishly tawdry afterschool-special-frownworthy activites; that this unlikely dynamic twosome share a rather particular (if yawnishly predictable tiresome) habit, to wit: they often deliberately relieve themselves -- with neither flushing nor a hint of remorse.

Is it a game between them as to which of them can excrete "the longest yard?" (Word goes out to Clooney). Or it is just an innocent anglicized version of an American "pissing contest."

W.C. Sniffers and Paparwhatzzi Unite!

Cheerio, pip pip, and toodles!

Elian Gonzalez

How original: making fun of the size of his penis.


My god, you are fabulously talented. But, to be minorly pedantic, it appears that the map used to illustrate the species occurrence in Los Angeles actually shows New York highlighted.


hey thats mean but kinda funny so i dont care lol ! !
o :)


I love this picture. It reminds me of the ads thy used to do in Mad magazine years ago.


This is my favorite drawing on the site, would have been even better if you'd done it before the nanny bangin'.

Sleazy, balding, yet vaguely aristocratic... Are any prozzies turning up dead in the streets of London these days? Because Jude looks to me like the reincarnation of Jack the Ripper.


I used to adore Jude Law...

Then he cheated on his wife and mother of his three children and shacked up with Sienna Miller. I was upset for his wife, but I didn't really care.
Jude's hot.

Then along with way, I thought how pretty Sienna Miller is and how they're such a cute couple.
And he cheated on her with the kids' nanny.

Not only did I:
a) cringe in disgust with his choice of mistress,
b) feel terribly awful for poor Sienna (poor, but dumb-for-not-expecting-a-cheater-to-cheat-again Sienna)
c) immediately cease and desist all romancey feelings towards him,
but I wanted to punch his lights out for being such a slime.

Because that's what he is. A trouser snake slithering around in slime.

Ooh, yeah the weenie jokes have reminded me of the Friends episode where Jennifer Aniston's character Rachel finds out Ross and Brad Pitt's character spread a rumour around in high school about her being a hermaphrodite... saying "YOU GAVE ME A (emphasis on the "a", say it like "ay" real loud) TEENIE-WEENIE!!"

Ha, yeah....


Thats sweet 14, you really grabbed his likeness, loving everything about this pic. Jude Law a snake in a wildlife tearout, I'm sure their handing these out to Hollywood girl guides right now.

femme feral

Hilarious! Loves it. And of course, in true hollywood fashion, this snake is trying to shed his skin and sell his snake oil.

you are sooo talented!

T in NYC

Oh god, 14, the thought of you applying your incredible talents to Tara Reid has me chomping at the bit.

So much to work with there, where would you even begin?

Madame Meow

You are amazingly funny and just plain GOOD. It is in that spirit that I feel I must point out two things:

1. Sceintific nomanclature requires that the first word (genus) --in this case, the quite perfect "cheaticus" -- be capitalized. I think it just ought to be so it looks (even more) authentic. And yes, I'm a nerd.

2. It's spelled "barista" (only one "r")-- from the Italian.

Know that I am a big fan, and just want your work to look its best :o)


lol, that is a cute one but u made his face look better than it does in real life.

 me again

Sharing Vodka with very kind of you


Now share with her the easiest, closest route to rehab...when you get time.

The only reason the media is fascinated with that poor little girl is because she is f-ed up. The only way that girl knows to stay on top in the media is to remain f-ed up. REALLY SAD.

Honestly, when the media gets bored with her...which I can't understand why they haven't...she will find herself in a Bev Hills soup kitchen behind Soliel Moonfry and Jenny McCarthy..comparing boobs\


On to what I really want to say:
(cause I haven't said enough already...;P )

Miss 14, you are again dead on...but I do believe Jude...the second still a smidge too large.

There's a Jude in France
He ain't got no underpants

There's a chill in the air
Shows he ain't got nothin' there

Theres artist called fourteen
Showin him like he should be seen


What do you think is going to happen to Martha's Ankle bracelet?

Do you think we'll see it on Ebay soon?

P. Niss

He may be a "grower". I have a whopper, but when it is limp, it resembles quite the mushroom ! Those pictures on the net don't prove anything. Like that mattered. LOL LOL


Brilliant! Suitable for framing. Looks like a good idea for a book...these pictures of yours. hint hint... coffee table book?


Arg! That Tara Reid is such a bad influence on me! I can NEVER spell after a night out with her.

Tara Reid [slurring while teetering on falling over] "Come on 14, you can, like, finish off this like, bottle of vodka with me."

14 "I don't know, I need to get home and paint so I can update my blog."

Tara Reid [sprawled on the sidewalk, skirt hiked up with underwear showing, shouting] "you aren't any fun[hiccup], like are so laaaaaame!!!!!!"

14 [grabs vodka from Tara and guzzles it] " There, I did it.....[speech starts slurring] I'm drunk...[hiccup]...I gotta go home...see you later."

Tara Reid [crying, mascara running down face] "Aw come on!!! It's only 4:00am!! I still have, like another whole bottle of vodka [hiccup]....let's drink it from a funnel!! Come onnnnnnnn....[hiccup]

I stumble home as Tara lies on the sidewalk mumbling. She perks up when she sees a pack of frat boys passing by. She gets up, dusts herself off and runs toward them...."hey, let's parrrrrttty!!!"


Hilarious as usual.
LOVE the before and after rendering. I saw the offending picture on another site and was completely underwhelmed. What the hell was he doing out nakey on a balcony anyway? AND that was supposed to be his mothers house. C R E E P Y ! ! ! ! !


So brilliant I had to wear shades! BTW as long as we're proofreading--"occurrence" has 2 R's. That night with Tara must have been something!


Another priceless piece of artwork, and you've captured Jude perfectly! The revision is hilarious! Your creativity just blows me away!


You are an amazing amazing artist with quite a nasty streak ;) I always get a good chuckle from your work. Thanks for sharing it with the world!


HAH! Gooollldddd...and he used to be so attractive until he bonked that poor girl now *VORACIOUSLY* clawing for her 15 minutes...


Ha ha ha, YES!!

Not only did the "snake"'s size come into question, but ehm...the trouser snake's eggs seemed to be so small they were completely obscured by that bush. Quite a shame, really.

Nice on capturing the wonky shape of the species. As an artist myself, you inspire me, 14.

Viper Tetsu

If I hadn't a known better, I'da figured you ripped a page out of an ancient Audubon Society text. Magnificent, Ms. 14. Somewhere in the great Galapagos in the sky, Charles Darwin nods his bushy mono-brow in hearty approval.

I thought the Latin name of this species was actually Viennus Sausageus. Don't worry, though. It's just a (wait for it...)tiny omission on your part.


Katie - Thanks Doll! I need to stop partying with Tara Reid before I post. 14


Yeah, but look at that tongue!

Awesome !! You are the best !!


Voratious=voracious, FYI.


Brilliant as always.

Long Island Irish

LOL good one. What a mess! That nanny was as bad as himself. Can you imagine that at one point the children are supposed to have witnessed them going at it?! Oh my God what a "wonderful" childhood memory. NOT!
I hope his girlfriend dumps him. She seems to be fairly straight forward and normal, she doesn't deserve this loser.
Honestly you would think that a guy this high profile would keep his affairs to himself yet I guess he's just a sucker for press of any kind, good or bad, reguardless of who he huts in the process.

Burnt Sienna

Hey Jude,
we saw you nude
we saw your heinie
and something tiny

And any time you feel the pain
Hey Jude refrain
a trouser snake can't help but stray
and we know the breeze was cold that day


I think I love you, 14.

All I ask is that I see more Hohan. Please. I can't take enough of bashing that skeletal whore.

demon kitty

I love that comb over you gave him. He can't pull off a receding hairline. You've really captured his Cro-Magnon ridge, slope, whatever the hell it's called.

So much love,
Demon Kitty


It's really all about the girth anyway...

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