Paris Hilton was recently quoted as saying "I'm the closest thing to American royalty." Wow, that's quite the statement. I'm sure Americans everywhere are brimming with pride as our royal highness Princess Paris shamelessly dangles and shimmies her unbearable dullness in a vapid lap dance for the world to see. According to our beloved, yet delusional Princess, royalty is characterized by shilling herself out to low grade hamburger chains, starring in a sex video, and babbling "that's hot" because she can't come up with anything else to say. Princess Paris claims she wants to "build an empire" with her "brand" and 14 predicts it will look a lot like Wal-Mart.
Shes stupid, but I still wanna cum inside her
Posted by: Ron | November 10, 2007 at 03:51 PM
She is simply the best thing in the world
Posted by: not saying | August 22, 2007 at 02:20 PM
If ever there was a candidate for the most superficial, self-centered and completely useless lifeform to have ever trod this planet, Paris Hilton would have to place high on such a list.
Posted by: Don | May 07, 2007 at 11:04 AM
Paris Hiton is trash. She is not royalty! True royalty don't succumb to the level she has fallen to. At least they have class. Wealthy people are just money hungry any way, pardon the humor and reference to the food comercial... I think that the rich have survived to long off the backs of the poor as it is! Burn the rich! It will keep us warm! Send Paris Hilton to live in a poor ghetto and see how she survives...
Posted by: Jeremy Wilson | February 28, 2007 at 11:21 AM
Posted by Jen
"Paris has done so much for the age she is, she is a better person than you and thats why you don't like her. I get it.
Paris is 25 she models, sings, acts and she has her onw production company and a top selling book and perfume...you are some fat low paid wannabe artist. if you had 'real' talent you would be selling art in a gallery not supplying these haters with their swill."
OMG, Jen, How stupid ARE you? The only thing Hilton "fanS" can say is is exactally what this person has posted.
FYI, Jen, Paris CAN'T SING, or ACT. She's had everything PAID FOR BY DADDY'S MONEY, YOU TYPICAL WANNABE, LITTLE, STUPID FOOL.
You don't have to be fat or a loser to not like Paris Hilton, JERK!
Posted by: Shar | January 18, 2007 at 12:11 PM
Paris has done so much for the age she is, she is a better person than you and thats why you don't like her. I get it.
Paris is 25 she models, sings, acts and she has her onw production company and a top selling book and perfume...you are some fat low paid wannabe artist. if you had 'real' talent you would be selling art in a gallery not supplying these haters with their swill.
Posted by: Lilly | December 07, 2006 at 02:44 AM
It is so sad that young girls idolize this kind of behaviour. I for one am so sick and tired or seeing Paris Hilton on the internet, on every magazine, who cares who she is doing this week? Honestly who buys this crap? It is so sad that we reward such horrible behaviour. She started her career as a porn queen, and has made a trillion dollars since!
Posted by: Jen | October 06, 2006 at 07:21 AM
thanks for posting my comment ,I really enjoy this site.
Posted by: 4u2envy | October 03, 2006 at 11:56 AM
as a 15 yr old south african girl ,i think ph is really shallow and superficial.But what goes around comes around.I think it's all a marketing conspiracy to make her family more wealthy,i'll give her an aplus
Posted by: 4u2envy | October 02, 2006 at 10:56 AM
OMG...
Have a listen to Paris pretend she's Marilyn Monroe (who sang Happy Birthday sing to President Kennedy) singing to Hugh Hefner and kissing the hell out of his ass.
Music career? Ha! Her CD is a complete failure, because she can't really sing. Here is her real voice "unprocessed" by a computer and sucking as usual. She's just too dumb to get that. So are her few, illiterate, tweener fans.
http://www.videovat.com/videos/1622/paris-hilton-hefner-birthday.aspx
Posted by: Shar | September 27, 2006 at 04:10 PM
hi paris can u and nicki put simple life on again u look da best n ur so funny do another seies n da dog looks lovely n ur hotel is lovely to luv natasha x
Posted by: natasha | July 12, 2006 at 02:14 AM
"...shamelessly dangles and shimmies her unbearable dullness in a vapid lap dance for the world to see."
Not only is your art exquisite, you have a way with words. Bravo!
Posted by: Noelegy | June 30, 2006 at 03:22 PM
Damn!
Posted by: Jordan Raska | March 06, 2006 at 07:28 AM
She is never going to be royalty.
NEVER.
P.S- Love the artwork.
Posted by: SleepDeprivedPuppy | January 20, 2006 at 10:06 PM
I believe that Paris Hilton is an extraordinary person at the ripe young age of 24. In other words, how many 24 year olds do you know that have accomplished so much fame -- so fast? How about you! What were you doing at the age 24? Probably picking your asses!
Not only does Paris Hilton rank tops in celebrity status, she also has received an honorary doctor degree in complimentary medicines for her unselfish support.
Furthermore the school board also named her international royal diplomat of the board from a prestigious university in Boston Massachusetts. Obviously she is doing something right.
Posted by: Nicole | December 18, 2005 at 11:06 PM
You were a little off on her big birg hooked nose, needed to be bigger. And her lazy eye, needed to be "lazier," and you gave her too much on top. And yes she is royalty, remember, she is a
Porn Queen. I bet Prince William *can't wait* to snatch her stinky std infected coochie up.
Posted by: Nicole Ritchie is hot, ugly paris is not | November 19, 2005 at 04:34 PM
if paris hilton is american royalty, then i'm a vermicious knid.
Posted by: nicole | November 14, 2005 at 05:09 PM
PinkFreak you are totally right!
LazyEye Paris makes me sick!!! Not so close to royalty...
Posted by: IhateParis | November 11, 2005 at 06:56 AM
I don't know why, afterall I don't know her personally, but I just HATE Paris Hilton.
She is so mean to ordinary people, atleast was on her show. Royalty atleast is kind to their subjects, she degrades "hers".
My 16 year old daughter, given her complete lack of real world knowledge and maturity, thinks Paris is actually to be admired and copied! egads--where have I failed!
Paris is a complete and total SLUT. If my son were to ever bring her home to meet me and want to marry her, I would block the marriage, I don't care how much money she has. All the money in the world won't cure aids or herpes, one of which I would bet she already has, the other it is only a matter of time.
Yesterday, she left the scene of an accident. NONE of rich brats were given DUI or DWI tests. Why is it that this chick thinks she is royalty? because she is treated by a different standard. My sister saw her in Vegas and said that in person, she is a total SKANK!!!!
Boycott the Hilton Hotel chain, that would quite her up! or maybe just maybe her parents might actually attempt some discipline?!
Posted by: Julia | November 10, 2005 at 02:05 PM
This is my concept for a new Paris Hilton reality show. This would have the entire nation watching weekly.
Paris is cutoff from her family wealth, for good. Not just for the new show, but for the rest of her life. The producers of the show find her a small studio apartment with a monthly rental rate of $1,200.00, a few skirts, jeans, tops, shoes, no funiture.
Her mission is to:
a. Find a job so she can pay the rent, food, and utilities.
b. Since she does not have a car, once she finds a job, she has to figure out how she's going to save enough for the downpayment on a used piece of shit car, and then pay for the gas registration, insurance, and repairs.
c. Since the apartment is not furnished, she will also need to find a second job at night, so she can buy second hand furniture at thrift shops.
d. If she wants to maintain the color of her hair, she'll have to save her nickles & dimes in a jar, and then go to CVS and buy her color in a box. Then we would get to see her with tweety bird head in her stained kitchen sink.
Now, tell me, don't you agree that this would be the most watched show in TV history?
Oh, the title of the show?
"Ms Hilton, Welcome To The Real World!"
Steve
Posted by: Steve | November 07, 2005 at 05:40 PM
i love your art work it is great. i especially love your hotel paris. i could not not stop laughing it was so funny and right on thr mark. please continue your great work because i always get a big laugh from your pictures.
Posted by: sheri | November 06, 2005 at 07:47 PM
and my message was for DaVE!!
LOL...
Posted by: ThePinkFreak | November 01, 2005 at 10:15 AM
oups I meant: You are extremly talented.
Posted by: ThePinkFreak | November 01, 2005 at 10:14 AM
Excellent work 14. You talent extremly talented.
BTW Fug, yeah she is famous...could you remind me why? What is Paris' talent??? Except for being a total slut!?! So no,we are not jealous, just sick of seeing her...Maybe people are sick of useless girls with no brains...Royalty? No thanks...
14 that's a very representative portrait!
Posted by: ThePinkFreak | November 01, 2005 at 08:53 AM
Personally, i think paris hilton is so cool. She has the looks and the personality. Paris Hilton gets stereotyped because shes famous, im damn sure theres millions of girls out there just like her. So what if she produced a sex tape? WHATS IT GOTTA DO WIT YOU?! ALL IN ALL..SHES PRETTY AND UR NOT..GET OVER IT HATERS..UR ALL JEALOUS:P
Greetings from England x
Posted by: DaVE!! | October 31, 2005 at 02:57 AM
Good work, but you missed the lazy eye :(
Posted by: Fug. | October 26, 2005 at 01:42 AM
your talent amazes me!
Posted by: Dawn (webmiztris) | October 23, 2005 at 07:55 PM
14 you are the greatest. I have been your fan since we were teenagers. But, you still amaze me after all these years. Plus, you're hot.
Posted by: richdelux | October 21, 2005 at 01:30 PM
wow! I had such a physical reaction to this, I have learned that I gotta quit checking on 14's new stuff while trying to eat lunch! love it love it love it! thanks, 14~
Posted by: me | October 20, 2005 at 01:12 PM
Whiden--"Eau de Stank Vaginitis"
That's great!
...the crown sort of looks like a star fish, and maybe it's feeding off her head...
Posted by: midevil | October 20, 2005 at 07:04 AM
Wow, you just made me realize with this picture that this is probably how the world sees Americans.
I feel embarressed and ashamed now. Thanks :o/
Posted by: Genevieve | October 19, 2005 at 08:44 AM
I guess I'm a bit tired of Paris... so I wasn't as "wowed" as I usually am when logging on to your site. Sort of, been there & saw the painting of it already. This is one of your less-inspired, 14. Still waiting on Hohan, Cameron/Justin, Brangelina or maybe even Tyra Banks.
I'm usually chewing my nails in anticipation, but I guess I'm starting to take pity on Paris, Brit and poor Katie (scratch that - Kate and the test tube fetus).
Much love, but am waiting for you to fry some bigger fish then the usual fare.
Posted by: carrie | October 18, 2005 at 07:40 PM
Yeah! Can we PLEASE get your interpretation of the creature that is Ashlee Simpson because it would be just too funny!
Great work, again.
Posted by: Wendy | October 18, 2005 at 04:47 PM
Brilliant, 14. You are witty, talented, and creative, which is more than anyone will ever be able to say about Paris Hilton. I love how she claims to have "worked very hard" to get where she is. I guess shelling out her daddy's money to pay producers and manufacturers to put her on TV and sell her "Eau de Stank Vaginitis" perfume is pretty hard work.
Love your site!!
Posted by: Whiden | October 18, 2005 at 02:24 PM
Has her royalness contacted you do an official portrait? You are much kinder to her than the camera. Love your work 14
Posted by: MrBigBoy | October 18, 2005 at 12:58 PM
Love it all!! The dumb look, tacky clothes, and the mustard drop, priceless.
Posted by: Sabine | October 18, 2005 at 11:41 AM
"Unbearable dullness" is right on, sister.
Posted by: surcie | October 18, 2005 at 10:48 AM
Wow, again just stopped by to say thanks for the link 14, yikes!!!
Anyway I'm speechless, no really.
Posted by: Damien | October 17, 2005 at 01:39 PM
American royalty? That's like saying Burger King is American royalty. UUgh! Talk about giving yourself too much credit. I do have to say I agree with MadAngel. Her boobs are not that big.
Posted by: Tara S. | October 17, 2005 at 12:25 PM
Viper put into words everything I was thinking. I thank you for that!
So now I only need to complement you, dear 14, for yet another example of your limitless talent and ability to bust every self-important, self-absorbed, attention whore in LaLa Land.
I thank you.
Posted by: DonnaJEM | October 17, 2005 at 12:16 PM
Mother Mary in puke-yellow polyester hip huggers, this is magnificently, greasily perfect! Just seeing that vapid, half-lidded junior-high attempt at a come-hither look--captured to an excruciating T by your brushes and ink--gives my gut involuntary lurches...
The only thing keeping Paris Hilton from being just another empty-eyed suburban bedhopper whose idea of sexiness is a gas-station-checkstand plastic rose (and a candlelit dinner of convenience-store nachos washed down with a Mickey's Big Mouth) is several million bucks.
Posted by: Viper Tetsu | October 16, 2005 at 09:26 PM
You know, I'm guessing that Paris has had alot of things pass through her lips - though fast food is somewhat surprising.
American Royalty, yeah right.
(great art 14 your at the top of your game)
Posted by: Damien Morgan | October 16, 2005 at 06:57 PM
So close, 14, but Miss Thing here is waay too covered up to be Paris! Don't get me wrong - I have no need to see Her Grace's cha-cha - but you've got to be cruel to be... uh, cruel!
Posted by: jeanne | October 16, 2005 at 05:51 PM
you are a great drawer. keep it up now make on of those of ashlee simpson
Posted by: Jordyn | October 16, 2005 at 12:47 PM
I love it! The dripping mustard!!
Posted by: cherise | October 16, 2005 at 08:05 AM
Once agian you've captured your subject perfectly, 14.
The vapid stare. Why is this person so important to us again?
Posted by: Morrigan | October 16, 2005 at 02:36 AM
Mr. artist, you surley are the master of the universe! In this one however, you should not've covered up the long hook nose and lazy eye.
Posted by: Liz!!! | October 16, 2005 at 01:05 AM
Priceless, as usual. And you're right... she should have held out at least for Burger King huh? That way she'd *have* to wear a crown!
Posted by: Madame M | October 15, 2005 at 07:52 PM
I think this young mademoiselle — P H— deserves to spent a few hours counting the votes in Baghdad. Not just eating hamburgers and cleaning cars for a living.
If she suceeds she will be the bravest blonde of the day. Why not the next queen of Irak ? Let's bring politics in the most fashionable way.
Posted by: Brigitte Bardot_On_Speed(s) | October 15, 2005 at 12:59 PM
Love the camel toe--that's hot!!!
Posted by: wookiegurl | October 15, 2005 at 09:09 AM