Paris Hilton was recently quoted as saying "I'm the closest thing to American royalty." Wow, that's quite the statement. I'm sure Americans everywhere are brimming with pride as our royal highness Princess Paris shamelessly dangles and shimmies her unbearable dullness in a vapid lap dance for the world to see. According to our beloved, yet delusional Princess, royalty is characterized by shilling herself out to low grade hamburger chains, starring in a sex video, and babbling "that's hot" because she can't come up with anything else to say. Princess Paris claims she wants to "build an empire" with her "brand" and 14 predicts it will look a lot like Wal-Mart.
Once again, pure perfection.
Oh, and I'm just finishing the article. So check your email Sunday. =)
Posted by: Mandy | October 15, 2005 at 01:30 AM
Oh Paris, sweetie, listen: no one worships you. You know when something bad happens on the news and you can't stop watching even though you're nauseated? You know how some things are sick and sad, yet oddly compelling? That's you, hon. Please put on some clothes and go back to your room.
Thanks 14 for the laughs and the knowledge that I'm not alone.
Posted by: Bubbles | October 14, 2005 at 04:13 PM
It's unfortunate for the human race that this bitch is impervious to humiliation. I really wish the forces of the universe would banish her to the nether world and she'd never come back again. She is such an attention loving whore this will never happen. She kind of looks like Nikki here.
That is the most phallic hamburger I have ever seen lodged between white bread labia majora. Glad to see the tomatoes and ketchup symbolize the gorging of the vulva. Ugh! Paris Hilton has probably come into contact with lots of body fluids the color of mustard. I am going to go vomit now and then down some hard liquor. Ew!
So Much Love,
Demon Kitty
Posted by: Demon Kitty | October 14, 2005 at 12:20 PM
Also, how clever are you to capture perfectly the way her thumb is always bent up like that!
Posted by: TheIdleReceptionist | October 14, 2005 at 11:41 AM
I love that you captured her man-hands...next time show her freaky man-feet! You know that bitch wears size 10 or 11 shoes!
Posted by: Burple | October 14, 2005 at 11:21 AM
14 ~
Great work, but you were FAR too kind on portraying that freak nose of hers. Plus, the breasts are 2 sizes too big. Love your work!
Posted by: elle | October 14, 2005 at 10:58 AM
If Paris is royalty, then I call for every red-blooded American to rise up with torches and pitch forks to dethrone our porn video, trashy coture, lap dog totin', hair extention donning, fake blonde, fake blue eyes and fake tanned princess.
Hi 14. I love the cheesy dime-store tiara on Princess Paris.
Posted by: wasabi | October 14, 2005 at 09:48 AM
Ha Ha! Prince Albert's, I mean Charles', twin!
I guess "Royalty" is no exception to trampiness!
Posted by: Michelle | October 14, 2005 at 09:34 AM
that's hot.
Posted by: muzzlecunt | October 14, 2005 at 08:49 AM
The repulsive come-hither look (perfectly captured), the camel toe, the boney man hand, the jizzem-like mustard dripping on her rail-thin thigh . . . damn, you're good.
Posted by: Bragan | October 14, 2005 at 08:42 AM
Awesome! Love the mustard.
Posted by: Janelle | October 14, 2005 at 08:35 AM
Great pic ... however, I think we were being very kind to her likeness when you drew her breast. I've seen Paris in person and she is not that well-endowed.
Love your stuff!
Posted by: MadAngel | October 14, 2005 at 07:52 AM
Hey! I remember that look from One Night in Paris! Right before she... uhmmm... well, you know...
Bravo, 14! You've obviously done your research! All that's missing is the night vision green hue in the background and the glowing demon eyes!
Posted by: fINGERfOOD | October 14, 2005 at 07:44 AM
God save us all the day Paris declares herself royalty. I can just see her in some SouthParkian rendering, sitting on an acctual throne constructed, bedazzled and festooned with hot pink velvet by Heatherette and Bobby Trendy.
All of a sudden, just as the world takes it's collective shudder after Paris' declaration of sovreignty, a rumble erupts from the center of her being, knocking Tinkerbell's diminutive replacement off of the Royal Lap. Paris starts roaring and grunting like a werewolf in transition. People scatter in all directions...
Paris leaps off of her throne as her skin simultaneously SPLITS IN HALF OFF OF HER BODY. A medusa-like figure rises like an evil phoenix from her "Paris Skin" ashes. This winged, taloned beast will forever terrorize the St. Tropez's and Martha's Vineyard's of the Earth, looking for a boy pet to lock up, make appearances with and then break up with and release back into the wild.
Thank you, 14, for the warning. How could we not have seen it coming. The insanity MUST. BE. STOPPED.
Posted by: TheIdleReceptionist | October 14, 2005 at 06:15 AM
That is perfect. I love the way you have the sandwich sauce dripping down her leg. She has so few brains it's not even funny! Just look at the way she dresses, she's a disgrace. I'm glad there are people like you 14 who can portray these people for what they are--rich white trash.
Posted by: Long Island Irish | October 14, 2005 at 06:10 AM
14, again, you are a pure genius! I can't imagine life without Paris now that she's everywhere!
Posted by: Salmonella | October 14, 2005 at 03:37 AM
Great stuff!!! Keep 'em coming! You are a very talented artist/illustrator!
Greetings from Holland,
Amers
Posted by: Amers | October 14, 2005 at 02:30 AM
LMAO! :)
I love your artwork! It's great! Keep 'em coming!
Greetings from Holland,
Amers
Posted by: Amers | October 14, 2005 at 02:26 AM