Vincent Gallo's ATM Machine

Vincent Gallo offers his sperm for sale on the "merchandise" area of his web site. If you'd like your future child to possess delusions of grandeur and inflated ego, this is the opportunity for you!   You can buy his precious body fluid for only $1,000,000 and you get to experience his 8" cash withdrawal machine.  But wait, if you have an "extremely dark complexion", Mr. Gallo isn't interested in selling his sperm to you. Gallo prefers a blonde with blue eyes and is prepared to knock $50,000 off his asking price if she can "prove" she's natural. Come on fair haired ladies, line up for this once in a lifetime chance! Meduim: gouache and acrylic on paper.

Comments

[chip]

I saw Brown Bunny. He's packing about 5" inches at best. Or maybe Choeleoy's head is the size of a mini van.

[madamemedeasmilk]

why would you pay a millon to make your poor child a sub- spieces?

UGLY and creepy

[Isabel]

Probably did brown bunny just so he could get laid.
Gallo's ego-mania apprently knows no bounds.
This guy is messed up. He is insane. This guy isn't even that great of an actor. Brown Bunny is the most boring, worthless piece of shit movie that has ever been made in human history. He's nothing but a straight up Loooozer.
Even scarier, I am sure there are women out there who are equally crazy and would actually consider it...
There's no way he's drug-free.
He's a sick, retarded UGLY bastard.

[Dawn (webmiztris)]

i had no idea who he was until I saw Brown Bunny.

and now I wish I still didn't know.

[Katie]

After skimming the rest of the merchandise site, it seems pretty much like all those items are jokes - rather amusing actually. Almost as great as this picture.

[Natalia]

VINCENT WHO????

[mr pink]

i dont know who this gallo guy is but he must be out of his mind if he thinks someone will pay 1,000,000 dollars for his sperm ooh wait i live in america were anything is possible

[mr pink]

sound like mr.gallo has problem with the black brown and yellow

[Bettencourt]

I thought it's been wellll established that the recipient of Chloe's "favors" was not Gallo but her then-bf?

[matt]

Vincent Gallo is truely one of the most outrageous men in hollywood. Not only is he in the habit of producing some of the worst films ever made, but he cannot take constructive criticism designed to help him make better movies (he wished roger ebert prostate cancer for god sake! What kind of man is this!). He is selling gifts people gave him on his website. TACKY!

Oh and doesn't anyone else think, even if he is joking, that his comments are rather offensive and maybe even a little RACIST. Just a thought. The man is out of his damn mind!

[Chansmom]

Yuck! This guy has always given me the creeps. Now this really confirms what I've thought all along. F&#$ed up! Good job, 14!

Homeboy has really lost it. I'm surprised none of the gossip weekly haven't picked up on his site

[DonnaJEM]

CHEESE AND RICE!!!! Do not ever scare me like that again! I clicked on your site expecting the usual brilliance. But this is waaaaaaayyyyy past brilliance. I can't even think of a word better than brilliant.
First, you picked a great subject. Vincent Gallo is beyond gross. I love how you made his little spermies look just like him.....heroin addicted, sleepy and unclean.

[Fug.]

He's such a whore. I bet he can't hook a girl he likes.

[Leanna]

Oh god - your painting was hilarious and amazing. Sadly, I followed the link to his merchandise website and have actually come away sick to my stomach. That man is astonishing...and not in the way his delusional little brain thinks.

[Orianna]

is he fucking serious?

[mommyof1]

All i can say is OH MY GOSH that has to be a joke...there is just NOW WAY...

[Demon Kitty]

I just can't help it, I have to say this: You should get an award. You should get an award! YOU SHOULD GET AN AWARD!!!!! Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

[Cricket]

I just had to make a parody of my own after I saw this:

http://www.livejournal.com/users/a_cricket/

Excellent illustration, 14!

[Jason]

eeewwwwwww..

[Morrigan]

Ick...a women would need to seriously consider getting her brain checked if she wants to pay a million for Gallo's jizz. I love similarity between himself and his boys.

[JJ]

The guy is a total modern day Rasputin... looks just like him too.
the sperm faces are genius.

[14]

Thanks for your comments everyone!

If you don't know who Vincent Gallo is, google the terms "Brown Bunny" and "Chloe Sevigny" and see what magically "pops up". heh heh.

And get out and see more indie films! : )

14

[TheIdleReceptionist]

Ok, after reading his little Sperm for Sale blurb...that HAS to be a joke. Wanting a "Jew mother" so his offspring will have a chance at winning awards at movie festivals???

WTF?

[TheIdleReceptionist]

Also, the whole jiz morphing into sperm morphing into dollar signs looks really great! MC Escher would be proud!

[TheIdleReceptionist]

God what a freak. Great rendering! Eeewww and his penile/hairdryer/ATM of death. Barf.

You should have Chloe design some frumptastic outfit for his sperm swimming around up in the corner of the pic!

[Rodolfo]

Don't know why, but this reminds me of Munch's Madonna.

[janica]

Oh 14!
How you make me giggle! I love your work, you are the hotness!

[Priscilla Shnicklepooker]

Good Lordy Miss 14, this one is splendiferous. I've never seen such cute yet pitiful sperms in my life. The tiny hairs on them! Everything about it- it's just wonderfully done. His eye bags, so beautifully rendered...Priscilla likes!

[Brandy]

Awww...you made the sperm look cuuuute.

...did I just say that?

[Ilsa]

Holy SHIT, Private Pyle...those retarded, lazy-eyed, buck-toothed, vomiting sperm are the BEST!!!

I have not felt so shocked, nor have I laffed and wheezed this hard since Idontknowwhen!

I don't know much about this Vincent Gallo (thank God) other than the fact that Chloe Fugny supposedly blew him, but he looks like a deranged, fugly, perverse serial killer. The purple haze around his creepy hollow eyes only accentuates this. Awesome work!

[Demon Kitty]

OH MY GOOOOOOOD! I can barely breathe I am laughing sooo hard. DAMN! You captured his likeness. The man is a creep! A nasty effing creep! Selling his jizzum! Ew! Ew! Ew! I just don't understand how any woman would want to take it from him, especially in the mouth~ EW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But I honestly thing that Paris Hilton should couple up with him. They could go down as two of the most disgusting human beings fornicating in history. She could star in his movies. She is accustomed to blowing men on the screen. Ew!!!!!!
But then again they might breed so to hell with it! Ew!!!

[c-dawg]

who the crap is that guy? oh well, funny picture...i love the sperm with faces like junkies (his).

ps i wonder how this idiot will feel when no one wants to buy his nasty ol' jizz...

[Micino]

The vomiting sperm is very cute.

[Viper Tetsu]

So Gallo prefers sowing his seed within blue-eyed blondes? Sounds like he should be trimming his facial hair down to one little square directly under his nose and barking, "Mach Schnell!"

The daisy chain of semen and sawbucks is utterly hilarious, as is the likeness! If anything, you've made Mr. Brown Bunny look almost sitcom-star goofy--which, given the guy's monster ego, is a prime cutdown in itself. Brava!

[Blondi]

ewwww......

[ffleur]

LOVE IT! Those sperm look droopy and disinterested & hairy and bucktoothed. Just like their daddy.

I wonder if he's had any takers yet?

[Damien]

Honestly Gallo seems to have become the self proclaimed 'it' boy of the Hollyweird party set (or to be precise the sub-set of talentless hacks who sneek into, loiter and then prowl said B-list parties). God his movie 'Brown Bunny' should be required viewing for all film students 'And the Oscar for the worst use of celluloid goes to ..."

(errr, I guess Jessica Simpson is on the market, yep a little early but heck I went there, ) Great illustration as per usual 14.

[Brown Eyed Girl]

Just another reason I'm glad I'm not blonde.

I like how you've got him all rosy in that creepy drunk street guy kinda way.

I know there are women out there whose only mission in life is to get knocked up, but if you had a spare million to buy sperm, couldn't you find a better donor? At least Tom Cruise buys his customers airplanes and sonograms.

[Long Island Irish]

Dear god, let's hope Kevin Federline aka Cletus (Britney Spears husband) doesn't get ideas from this...

[cipha]

this is awesome! the artwork is telling the whole story!!! great work, girl!

[Madame M]

Hmm..... wow. I guess he's still holding out for Cholë Sevigny to father his child.

Love the sperm-to-cash frame. Too good.... and gooey. Ick.