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HIS loser butt!?! I think he came out the winner on this deal!


Why does Jess have fat rolls?

Ashley Bowers

I am so glad she dumped his loser butt!


and u know what? the local tv station where i live is showing that show (the jessica + nick xmas one u talk about) this xmas. How retarded is that?! The whole world already knows they're divorced, for christ's sake (pardon the pun)!

btw I saw some pix of jessica with swollen lips after her divorce. Allergy or cosmetic surgery?

...and of course, merry xmas 2 u, 14! :)

Viper Tetsu

Typepad was broken last nite, so I did not get a chance to post my last-minute entry in the Cruise sweepstakes:

Tom Cruise Self-Mutilation Haiku

Way back,I drew Tom
Cruise sawing his own arm off
It filled me with joy

Not terribly original, but--trust me--extremely heartfelt.


This site is great
Hilarious photos!

Karen Rani

Love your work - many drinks hath cometh from my nostrils reading your site.....great work!


You've captured Nicks "deer in the headlights" face perfectly. I also love the ginormous hat to fit over Jess's ginormous air-filled head and fluffed beyond belief hair. Her lopsided boobies take the cake though.
Another triumph!

Long Island Irish

Thanks Midevil! Now I know why she does that. It's very disturbing. Actually she'd be a great blow up doll although I think most of them are WAY more intelligent than she is. :)


Does someone need a hug? GOD YES!!! Is it that obvious?!? Yep, time for ole 14 to take a little vacation. I gotta get my mojo back.

Thanks for the hug!!


Heck I'm looking forward to it, can't wait to see the entries.


Does someone need a hug?

Demon Kitty

Who would marry that idiot woman? You would also be marrying Joe Simpson too. I am going to com up with a rant about Tom Cruise in support of your campaign.

So Much Love.

Demon Kitty


"Beard"...ha ha ha! The description of this picture was almost as good as the picture itself. You have a way with words as well as with the paintbrush! I love the way Nick's hair sticks up. I love how Jessica's big, gaping, stupid maw is hanging wide can just imagine the caucophony of irritating things flying out of her mouth. Those giant candy canes look like they are stuck up both of their asses. Yes, as long as Nick and Jessica are around, the holidays will always be happy indeed!


Bad enough that Kathie Lee decided to stop making her Christmas Specials, but now without Nick and Jessica, what are we going to do for Christmas TV fun?


Ohmylord, that's funny.

I wish I could come up with something original about how irritating Tom Cruise is, but in the words of the Barenaked Ladies, it's all been done, it's all been done, it's all been done before!


Long Island Irish: Why does Jessica open her mouth like that? Does she believe she looks good?

Well, duh, she's working towards a future career as a blow up doll. Sheeeseh.


I wonder how many flies Jessica has swallowed that way...

I love you, 14. :o)

Chi Chi Monkey

Good lord. Only 5-10 lines about li'l Tommy Rat Boy? It's practically haiku.
I wonder how many words rhyme with "freak".

Viper Tetsu

Nick--magnificently corpselike. Jessica--possessing a mouth large enough to swallow a fat rainbow trout. In other words, spot on with a faint tinge of cheesy pathos.

You've also pointed up Jessica's resemblance to Misty Rowe, former Hee Haw Haystack Honey and frequent dim-bulb guest star on Love Boat and Fantasy Island. Who says Ms. Simpson isn't following in a noble Hollywood tradition?

Gotta go. I smells me a Tom Cruise limerick coming on...


"If you are interested in receiving this fine work of art (heh heh) to add to your extensive art collection, please write a short (5 - 10 lines) poem/ode/rant about Tom Cruise and send your entries here."

What kind of stuff are you encouraging?
You are a shame.

Long Island Irish

Why does Jessica open her mouth like that? Does she believe she looks good?

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