Around this time last year, we were bombarded by images of Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson cuddling up to each other in a plastic oversized sleigh. Nick wore a very lame Santa "beard" and Jessica was dressed as a ditzy snow bunny. The show was heavily promoted - billboards, magazines, web, television...one could not get away from the creepily annoying and intrusive images. Oh, and the show itself....insufferable!
I know all of you are disapointed there won't be another Nick and Jessica's Family Christmas ever again. It was destined to become a beloved American classic television event and was sure to be enjoyed by generations of loyal followers. For this reason, we have dragged the image back out for you to enjoy during the holiday season.
HIS loser butt!?! I think he came out the winner on this deal!
Posted by: Lisa | February 02, 2006 at 05:18 PM
Why does Jess have fat rolls?
Posted by: melinda | January 06, 2006 at 02:18 PM
I am so glad she dumped his loser butt!
Posted by: Ashley Bowers | December 22, 2005 at 06:54 AM
and u know what? the local tv station where i live is showing that show (the jessica + nick xmas one u talk about) this xmas. How retarded is that?! The whole world already knows they're divorced, for christ's sake (pardon the pun)!
btw I saw some pix of jessica with swollen lips after her divorce. Allergy or cosmetic surgery?
...and of course, merry xmas 2 u, 14! :)
Posted by: cherise | December 19, 2005 at 02:08 AM
Typepad was broken last nite, so I did not get a chance to post my last-minute entry in the Cruise sweepstakes:
Tom Cruise Self-Mutilation Haiku
Way back,I drew Tom
Cruise sawing his own arm off
It filled me with joy
Not terribly original, but--trust me--extremely heartfelt.
Posted by: Viper Tetsu | December 16, 2005 at 07:54 AM
This site is great
Hilarious photos!
Vera
Posted by: vera | December 13, 2005 at 07:24 PM
Love your work - many drinks hath cometh from my nostrils reading your site.....great work!
Posted by: Karen Rani | December 12, 2005 at 07:58 PM
You've captured Nicks "deer in the headlights" face perfectly. I also love the ginormous hat to fit over Jess's ginormous air-filled head and fluffed beyond belief hair. Her lopsided boobies take the cake though.
Another triumph!
Posted by: DonnaJEM | December 12, 2005 at 06:43 AM
Thanks Midevil! Now I know why she does that. It's very disturbing. Actually she'd be a great blow up doll although I think most of them are WAY more intelligent than she is. :)
Posted by: Long Island Irish | December 11, 2005 at 05:59 PM
Does someone need a hug? GOD YES!!! Is it that obvious?!? Yep, time for ole 14 to take a little vacation. I gotta get my mojo back.
Thanks for the hug!!
14
Posted by: 14 | December 11, 2005 at 05:37 PM
Heck I'm looking forward to it, can't wait to see the entries.
Posted by: Damien | December 11, 2005 at 02:29 PM
Does someone need a hug?
Posted by: Kris | December 11, 2005 at 10:49 AM
Who would marry that idiot woman? You would also be marrying Joe Simpson too. I am going to com up with a rant about Tom Cruise in support of your campaign.
So Much Love.
Demon Kitty
Posted by: Demon Kitty | December 10, 2005 at 10:25 PM
"Beard"...ha ha ha! The description of this picture was almost as good as the picture itself. You have a way with words as well as with the paintbrush! I love the way Nick's hair sticks up. I love how Jessica's big, gaping, stupid maw is hanging wide open...you can just imagine the caucophony of irritating things flying out of her mouth. Those giant candy canes look like they are stuck up both of their asses. Yes, as long as Nick and Jessica are around, the holidays will always be happy indeed!
Posted by: Ilsa | December 10, 2005 at 08:27 PM
Bad enough that Kathie Lee decided to stop making her Christmas Specials, but now without Nick and Jessica, what are we going to do for Christmas TV fun?
Posted by: Christi | December 10, 2005 at 06:59 PM
Ohmylord, that's funny.
I wish I could come up with something original about how irritating Tom Cruise is, but in the words of the Barenaked Ladies, it's all been done, it's all been done, it's all been done before!
Posted by: surcie | December 10, 2005 at 05:30 PM
Long Island Irish: Why does Jessica open her mouth like that? Does she believe she looks good?
Well, duh, she's working towards a future career as a blow up doll. Sheeeseh.
Posted by: midevil | December 10, 2005 at 09:40 AM
I wonder how many flies Jessica has swallowed that way...
I love you, 14. :o)
Posted by: Cricket | December 09, 2005 at 09:19 PM
Good lord. Only 5-10 lines about li'l Tommy Rat Boy? It's practically haiku.
I wonder how many words rhyme with "freak".
Posted by: Chi Chi Monkey | December 09, 2005 at 05:20 PM
Nick--magnificently corpselike. Jessica--possessing a mouth large enough to swallow a fat rainbow trout. In other words, spot on with a faint tinge of cheesy pathos.
You've also pointed up Jessica's resemblance to Misty Rowe, former Hee Haw Haystack Honey and frequent dim-bulb guest star on Love Boat and Fantasy Island. Who says Ms. Simpson isn't following in a noble Hollywood tradition?
Gotta go. I smells me a Tom Cruise limerick coming on...
Posted by: Viper Tetsu | December 09, 2005 at 04:53 PM
"If you are interested in receiving this fine work of art (heh heh) to add to your extensive art collection, please write a short (5 - 10 lines) poem/ode/rant about Tom Cruise and send your entries here."
What kind of stuff are you encouraging?
You are a shame.
Posted by: Maria | December 09, 2005 at 02:54 PM
Why does Jessica open her mouth like that? Does she believe she looks good?
Posted by: Long Island Irish | December 09, 2005 at 01:16 PM