Look, I realize this is pandering to the lowest common denominator of cesspool gossip, but my mission is to illustrate gossip...and so I do what I must. My inspiration comes from the fact Britney Spears and Cheetos have become so synonymous that one term is rarely mentioned without the other. Just take a look at what the bloggers are saying. In addition, Star magazine has been monitoring Brit's weight gain over the past month and even ran a cover photo screaming "Brit Gains 20 lbs. MORE!"
Our investigative team has just uncovered Frito-Lay's plans to expand their product line by offering Cheetos Britney, an even cheesier, greasier and more unnatural shade of orange crunchy snack. We were able to obtain a prototype image of the bag (see above) and also got our hands on the teaser ad (see below) scheduled to appear in upcoming magazines right before the product becomes available.
This is what the ad will look like inserted into the pages of a sample magazine.
Medium: Ink and digital color.
I love you 14!!!
But, you missed the black roots and greasy hair!
Posted by: HOmade | January 31, 2006 at 02:48 PM
have always been grossed out by her 25" neck -- thanks for capturing that perfectly - and the zits are so realistic -- that must've been a real labor of love to create those so nicely!
Posted by: me | January 31, 2006 at 02:08 PM
Ahhhh!! Too funny!
Posted by: TheIdleReceptionist | January 31, 2006 at 12:05 PM
ah the detail, the wonderful combination of orange upon pasty white, the flecks of cheetoh dust play well with the white heads... yet ANOTHER masterpiece!!!
BRAVA!!!
Posted by: Elaine | January 31, 2006 at 11:40 AM
My new favorite blog. *Bookmarks*
Posted by: | January 31, 2006 at 11:26 AM
LoL. You're going to hell with gasoline drawers on, I hope you know that!! =)
Posted by: Ki | January 31, 2006 at 10:36 AM
I am no fan of Britney, but give the poor girl a break already!
Posted by: robin | January 31, 2006 at 09:40 AM
Excellent. Really great. I think what is very nice about this is that you captured not only the obvious such as bad skin and ratty hair, but also her thick, linebacker neck.
Posted by: Penname | January 31, 2006 at 09:06 AM
This is brilliant!!! love the double chin!! I can just hear the commercial tag line coming from Brit's cheeto filled, cheese crusted, zit covered mouth -- they're cheesegasmic y'all!!!
Posted by: megan | January 31, 2006 at 08:09 AM
You just made my morning. I've never been a Britney fan and her downfall is an endless source of amusement... particularly when illustrated so beautifully!
<3
Posted by: Monica | January 31, 2006 at 06:55 AM
"Cheese-gasmic" is now my favorite neologism ever ever EVER. At least until your next Fourteenism. I'm gonna call EVERYthing cheesegasmic now.
The media--fuck, most of the WORLD--dubbed this junk-food shovelling wall-eyed little primate a major sex symbol and international star. Could someone tell me why? Couldn't be her natural vocal talent: Her anonymous chirp of a voice wouldn't stand out in a vocal police lineup. Her looks? Even at her least pustulent, she looked like any other physically inoffensive high-school blonde. And the only humans likely to deem her sexy are either too young to vote legally, or too perversely fixated on those too young to vote legally to be allowed to walk the streets. And with her rapid tailspin into acne-spotted white-trash gluttony, Brit's rapidly alienating even those sorry-ass demographics.
Once again, you peel away the artifice and force us to look at the ugly squirmy bits underneath. What's more, you make it really, really, really fucking funny.
That's my windy-assed way of saying, BRAVO! Again!
Posted by: Viper Tetsu | January 30, 2006 at 11:01 PM
When I was a kid, I used to love cheetos. Those airy, crunchy, cheesy things... I was elated when they came back on the market. However, Brittany and her "I am a trailer park redneck who desperately wishes that I could have come from Compton and be one bad muthafucka wid mah bitches and hos" skanky husband have ruined them for me. In the nether regions of my subconscious, I actually know that K Fed's spooge is really that bright orange stuff around her mouth. They have me equating cheeto residue with K- fed's left over love gravy- arm pit grease, butt crack residue and smegma. Now that these two human beings have made me sick again, I am going to go barf. They have destroyed my precious childhood delight. They better not touch space dust ....
So Much love,
Demon Kitty
Posted by: Demon Kitty | January 30, 2006 at 10:09 PM
Gross.........period.
Posted by: DonnaJEM | January 30, 2006 at 07:22 PM
wow - that's rough... hilarious, but rough... she certainly has let herself go this past year. i'm sure stirrup pants and lunch-lady arms aren't too far off in the future.
keep up the great work!
Posted by: james | January 30, 2006 at 04:48 PM
Yikes! I had to cover my eyes at first! The cheese is so bright! Not to mention the zits. They do pop out at you...heh. (I couldn't resist.)
She has turned into one nasty skank.
Posted by: Chansmom | January 30, 2006 at 04:44 PM
I almost vomited looking at the mouth close-up. Well done, indeed! <3
Posted by: April | January 30, 2006 at 04:29 PM
Looks like Elvis, the peanut butter/banana sandwich years.
Posted by: Mel | January 30, 2006 at 04:04 PM
I'll never look at Cheetos the same way again. Sick and genius.
Posted by: Sharp Lily | January 30, 2006 at 01:14 PM
You can take the redneck out of redneck town, but you just can't get that f*in' Cheeto stain off the girl!
Posted by: midevil | January 30, 2006 at 01:08 PM
Excellent work 14!
The contrast between her pasty pallid face and the bright orange of the cheeto powder offset by the burstable red zits is truly remarkable.
Posted by: Crees_dahl | January 30, 2006 at 12:42 PM
That girl looks more like Elvis every day. The weight gain, the studying of mystic religions...how long will it be till she takes up karate? If you see her eating a fried banana, peanut butter and bacon sandwich you will know for sure....
...hey wait...
OMG! Elvis' cover is blown! He is in fact not dead, or working in a Kalamazoo Burger King; he just had a very clever body-mod...but they forgot to leave out the appetite!
Posted by: Cyclops Kitten Natividad | January 30, 2006 at 12:00 PM