The Strange Morphing Face of Startled Jones

While in the middle of painting the Star Jones pin-up for Babe Magazine (see above), I felt I needed to look at her face once again before adding the finishing touches.  I wanted some recent photos, so I went to getty images.  When I pulled up the photos, I nearly fell over backwards!!  WHAT HAS SHE DONE TO HER FACE? It's too late at night for me to be looking at photos as blood-curdling at these!  I know faces change appearance after dramatic weight loss, but Star looks really different.  I compared the much maligned Star-in-red-bathing-suit image from a few weeks ago with the photos from her recent book signing and she looks like a different person.  She looks like a very startled big-eyed alien. I hereby bequeath her a new moniker: Startled Jones.

Version ONE: too tame


Version TWO: perfect

Photo proof:

Comments

[Katherine Void]

I believe that Star was beautiful before the surgery and she is still is. People say nasty remarks because she didn't say thet she had the surgery before, but its really no one's business.

[Dee]

I see most of you are haters...I am proud of Star...Proud that she lost the weight....Are we jealous here???...it takes a strong minded person to do what she did...I tip my hat to her.....Keep doing what you are doing, Star...She inspires me... :)...Blessings!

[Kin Au]

this is not right. lol

Hi, Oh, I like thin your face, that is cool, you are pretty. bye

[Pam]

I am really surprised at the bashing of Star Jones. But I am more surprised at the ugly comments people are saying. I thought people in this country were beyond the petty name calling. I have never seen such an attack on anyone else in my life. Not even on peopple who have done horrible things to children sexually which says a lot for our standards of thought. The woman left a show big deal, its not like she started a war with another country under false reasons.....GET OVER IT and GET A LIFE of YOUR OWN!

[Eva]

If you want to see a picture of an alien click here to see a great grey alien face

[Orson is Well]

FCT, who died and made you God? You appear to be as hateful and judgemental as the person you accuse and curse. You attach yourself to Star Jones, a greedy bag of hot air because she is the typical wrongly perceived "strong black woman". boring boring yawn yawn yawn. Can't you find other strong black women to look up to? Why don't you look for her working 3 jobs to support her kids because she's a single mother and she wants the best for her children. A strong black woman can be found just about anywhere and if you gave her the same amount of idolization and attention you hoist upon Star Jones, she might just realize how strong she really is.

Just because someone teases another in the spirit of satire does not mean they live in a world of hate. Lighten up. Stop judging others, and start looking among the crowds of regular people walking down the street. You'll find far better examples of strong black women.

[FCT]

What the world needs is a total elimination of haters like yourself. You use this web site to perpetuate hateration to the dispoproportionate levels.We need more love in this world and less hate. It is sad and unfortunate to say the least that you get a kick or a boost by demonising Mrs.Star Jones Reynolds. How would you like it if the same treatment was reciprocated back to you? There is an old saying which says: do to others what you would like to be done to yourself. Remember what goes around comes around and your day will come when you will be treated with disdain just as how you are metting it out to Star Jones, a black woman who has never done you anything cruel. Be very careful. Let me remind that when you dig a ditch for someone be sure to dig one for your self.

[Carmen La de Ronda]

Entertainers are human beings with feelings just like everyone. They entertain us and earn a living. Can we show some kindness........or just don't say anything if it cannot be kind. A well express critic is Ok, however to make statements that denigrates a person is heretic. Remember Do unto others as we like have others do unto us. Starr Jones will go through the changes her body needs, to adjust with her drastic reduction in weight. No one wishes to be overwight, lets be happy for those that achived to thin down. Doctors have agree that obecity is an illness. I am obese and would like to thin out for health reason. Good luck to Starr Jones in her new endavors.

[Me]

HATERS!!

[john]

this website is racist , talk about rosie butch look , talk about rosie looking like a man or maybe something caught between the transformation of a man

[sandy]

star your so beutifull don!t pay any attention to those so called jealous nuts i!m so happy for you.

[Karen Buckner]

Star Jones Reynolds is a self-serving, self-absorbed, bitch married to a queer and lying about his sexuality. She HAS to know he is gay because she isn't as stupid as she looks or acts. The truth is that no straight man on the planet wanted to bang that pig, much less marry her. That hideous wedding and all the braggadocio about the vulgar flamboyance that she didn't even pay for. What else could we expect? She's a lawyer (liar/shark) and apparently a pathetic one. If I never see that lard-ass again with the fecal matter foundation on her face, it will be too soon. Good riddance.

[james]

yikes ,a weazing bag of doorknobs. please leave the world alone.the worst dna ever. please get her fixed.i got my horse fixed for $50 bucks.

[Tony]

Awsome, that there are millons of others who think star jones not only looks like a lizard from the local pet shop, you know those who can move their eyes seperatly, but hate her as I do.

Tony
Miami,Florida

[sensible]

ohmygod compares your skewering of Star Jones' bizarre plastic surgery to the the atrocities of the holocaust. Clearly she is in love with hyberole and inapropriate similes. Star Jones is not being attacked because she is black, nor is she in danger of being arrested and carted off to an internment camp of any kind. She is merly a self-centered media whore with far too much money and a mistaken belief that she can, through surgery and chemicals, someday become beautful.

She was not unattractive as a big woman. She had a sense of style, at least when she was still a legal talking head making her living jabbering on and on about the OJ case. Which reminds me, to call her a black victim is to forget that she exploited a racially charged murder case to vault into the public eye.

Just because your grandma survived the Holocaust does not give you the right to minimize the atrocities of the Holocaust by comparing jokes about Star Jones to The Final Solution. Sorry, it just doesn't.

[Loretta Rosenberg]

My grandmother is a nazi concentration camp survivor. What the germans did first to justify the the holocaust is ridicule and dehumanize successful wealthy jewish people. This is what seems to happen to women of color who have the audacity to become sucessful public figures in our country. Please lay off Star Jones, she is not the enemy. You haters should be ashamed to call yourselves American Citizens.

[ohmygod]

THE ONLY THING FUNNIER THAN READING THESE COMMENTS IS LOOKING AT THAT HILARIOUS ALIEN PICTURE. fuckin' funny stuff!!!!!!!!!!!

[Flava]

The thing that I don't get is why she lies about getting a By-Pass.We all know she had one and I'm sure she knows we know. But she insists it's all Pilates and excercize.... rite! Pilates my butt, she had the Bypass of life! BUT she has that Nicole Richie thing going on now. Star looks really bad...she looks like death standing on the corner eating a Lifesaver .

[scandoll]

I can not tolerate this over the top, can not look people in the face, narsacistic, ape, monkeyed lipped b*tch!

Arrrghhh...she makes me want to rip my right arm out, beat myself to oblivion with it, then with my left over post oblivion energy, come back, and beat her too!!

[Josette]

I also looked at Star Jones she actually looks worse than before now she is a cocky small person instead of a cocky big person. I liked her better before. She looks dreadful. She reminds me of ET come home.

[Em]

Oh, man. That is a DISASTER of a face. She was not a pretty fat lady—there are pretty fat women, and she was not one of them—and she is not a pretty thin lady. She is just not a pretty lady. I think the alien hypothesis is a good one.

[Vivian]

Noooooooottt Funny, at all!!!!!

[i said it]

she has always been mean spirited. spiteful in fact. it is a known fact she is jeolous of light skinned women. she hates VANESSA WILLIAMS with a passion! she was interviewing her when she appeared the female lead in a movie called 'LETS DANCE' and she was so jeoulous of VANESSA'S hair and how slim she was. she couldn't stop talking about her all through out the show.
it's too bad star had to have medical intervention in orde to lose the pounds. as everyone knows she will gain it all back like oprah did and then make excuses of why it happened. then when MR. REYNOLDS THE FAG leaves her then that will be why. she will say: ...'me and my husband had a lot of problems in our marriage. i did not know he was gay he was hiding it behind my back all these yeaaaars oooh booo hoooo....' yeah right star stop being so fake. she doesn't like dogs, but pretends to love them by getting one herself. MOMMIE DEAREST without the kids...yeah you don't get to the top without being a bitch in hollywood.

[Jo Gillis]

Thanks for the pictures. I saw her on T.V. this morning, the first time I've seen her since this "morphing" thing. It's a strange look she's got going on - especially with those long fake lashes comming out of her startled eye sockets.

[cherise]

ohhhh yes, I see the similarity! kudos! great work again! alien jones more like!

[Yvette Jong]

I think she looks like a frog and since she is a bitch she looks even worst than that....a mutant frog that is...

[Drunken Editor]

Star Jones is an arrogant dolt and the true poster child (monster) for affirmative action. It was hard enough to take her seriously before she looked like a gremlin with a blotched facelift. But, it is all good in that she got everything that she has earned - extreme ugliness.
de

[ishouldbereading]

does anyone else think star jones looks like nicole richie? it totally creeps me out!

[tee hee hee]

i thought i was the only one who noticed how crazy star jones looks - post surgery. she looked better fat.

[James Choma]

So that's what crawled into my room last night, took me up to its ship, and probed me.

Now I understand why the aliens mutilate cows -- they've been looking for Star!

Ewww.

[James Choma]

Oh, dear God, is that funny! I work in a "quiet" area, and my burst of laughter almost caused a lock down. Ah, ha-ha-ha-ha!

What a hideous troll she is. Hideous troll - not just a troll...a hideous troll. Keep up the good work!

[DesiDancer]

After seeing your sketch for version 2, it hit me...

my preciousssssssssssssssss!

she's gross.

[Jack]

Not only is Star a fake, so is that weakling husband of hers. I was noticing in wedding photos he's wearing a military Bronze Star and Purple Heart. No, he didn't earn them, they were his fathers. What a couple of frauds!

[Christi]

you are so right! I noticed how strange she looked the other day when I accidently turned on THE VIEW and had to stop and watch this car crash of a face. Usually when women lose so much weight they get better looking, not uglier! She seems to have used Joan Rivers plastic surgeon. And speaking of...have you seen MELISSA Rivers lately? Oy, what a botched couple of jobs SHE"S had!

[Viper Tetsu]

Everyone's mis-spelling her name: it's pronounced Star Jones, but it's spelled X-E-N-U.The X, the E, and the U are all silent.

Star Jones will always hold a special place in my heart. Your withering caricature of her in Star-ba the Hutt mode was my first exposure to the GOTA. Ah, memories...

Like you need to hear this again (OK, maybe you do), but fucking BRILLIANT!

[Joshua Love]

The grey alien similarities amongst plastic surgery abusers seems to be appearing more and more frequently. I'm starting to suspect that grey aliens aren't aliens at all, just time travellers from a not-too distant future where everyone gets shoddy face jobs in their eternal quest for beauty.

[chad stockwell]

I hate Star Jones. She honestly looks like a mixture of a Gila Monster and The Crypt Keeper from the HBO series. Plus her opinions make the late Morton Downey Jr look like a nicer Bob Costas. (which is hard to do.)

[Damien Morgan]

Yikes I think you really hit it on the nose there, god she has'nt even told anyone how she lost the weight (not that we had'nt guessed it was surgery). Strange that there are even rumours that she had a sham wedding (although the guy looks pretty damn good my hetro senses doth not tingle, lets just say he's a little less 'Oh my god' and a little more 'OOOOOkkkkklahooooma'). Hope thats not slander?

[james]

Awesome likeness again. Fat or thin, she's one of those people who will always be ugly - inside and out. Beyond ugly - hideous, scary, ghastly and yet completely full of herself. Imagine writing a book on finding "true love" when you're nothing but a beard.

[Virenda]

I have a love/hate relationship with gossip and think your pictures/drawings are amazing. You are very funny, and witty. Love the Star Jones pics, her in a red bathing suit is scary especially stradling her gay husband. EWWWWW!!!

[Amy]

HAHAHA. OMG so funny!

[Fiasco]

I was "busy" during her transformation, so was clueless. Happened to see The View and thought they had replaced the fat chick due to her gay hubby (??) or something. Yet they called this replacement "Star"...was this her twin??? I still contend she did an Anne Rice and "Body Snatched" someone. What in the Haydies is wrong with her eyebrows? Hurts me to look.

[Jenrah]

Yes! I totally agree about the Black Ursula look! She looked better fat! Not many people do, but she did. Love the art work!!

[SM]

Oh no....I think I may have soiled myself from my fit of uncontrollable laugher!

This time you have T-R-U-L-Y outdone yourself 14!!!

I am speechless, soggy and speechless. ROTFLMWAO!!

[Genevieve]

She's had a major bad face lift. It's just gross. Amen for making these drawings!

[dinuba]

Her face now strikes me as almost identical to Faye Dunaway's as Joan Crawford in Mommie Dearest--the way she sucks in her cheeks and holds her mouth. What remained of any warmth of expression has been sucked out, and it's apparent she's slightly cross-eyed.

[TheIdleReceptionist]

AAAANNNNDDD, one more. As someone that loves the arts and graphic design and such, I love how you leave some of the picture as a rough sketch and some of it a finished piece. Lovely!

I can't wait to see the Tom Poetry Winner! ;o)

[TheIdleReceptionist]

Argh, I can't not comment again. Revealing Star Jones as the alien she is was beyond genius.

[OtherwiseOccupied]

you know, I think she was more attractive as a large person..