If Dali Had Painted Angelina Jolie

One of my favorite Salvador Dali paintings is Sleep. I place Angelina Jolie in this painting because she's larger than life and needs several Daliesque pedestals to support her fame. Not only is she considered one of the most beautiful women in the world, she also donates time, money and energy toward the betterment of others. Her qualities of rebellious vixen combined with doting mother generate intrigue and devout fandom. Groan. Medium: Oil on board. SOLD

Comments

[Lin]

First off, let me say that Angelina looks EXACTLY THE SAME as she did when she was THREE and when she was TWELVE! The people on this board who are saying she is ugly are the ones who are truly ugly. She does not have fish lips...what is the matter with you childish, ridiculous people?!

[Angelina Jolie Has Huge Ugly Fish Shaped Lips!]

Angelina Jolie is one of the ugliest celebrities or women I have ever seen!
I can't understand how anyone can find her remotely attractive at all!
She has abnormally huge lips that are shaped like a Bass or trout fish especially her lower lip! Every time I see her face online I have to click it off I can't even stand to look at her!

I'm not alone either I have found many other people including many heterosexual men saying exactly the same thing!
One guy posted a picture of 2 fish and said Angelina looks just like this and he said at least with other actresses you don't need a fishing license to watch their films!

Another guy on another site said how can anyone find her huge sausage lips attractive, and another guy said sausage lips? You mean they are like this, and he posted a picture of a fish with an eek emoticon.
On another message board many people were saying these things about her too and a woman said that her husband said she looks like she should be thrown back into the ocean.Many men said the last time they saw lips like hers they were on the end of a fishook!
Another guy said he always found Angelina unattractive with big over-sized frog lips! And another guy on another message board said he always thought she was ugly and that she looks like freaking Howard the Duck!

Another woman said her husband thinks she's ugly and he calls her anus mouth. One guy said Jon Voight doesn't make pretty babies sorry.

Also there are many web sites discussing and showing her before and after plastic surgeries,her nose jobs,her cheeck implants,etc and someone said that even though she's had a lot of plastic surgery it didn't help because she still looks like a fish. And on the same site a guy Tim said,really ugly woman with a skeleton body and a fish face!

Elizabeth Taylor,Lauren Bacall,Milla Jovovich and Jaclyn Smith(who I think is the most famous beautiful woman ever!), and Marilyn Monroe all had/have full lips but they weren't abnormally huge and they all had very pretty shaped lips not ugly trout shaped lips!

Scarlet Johanson,Jessica Alba and Liv Tyler all have lips that are too big,but they still have pretty looking mouths because their lips have a very pretty shape not fish shaped like *UGLY* Angelina!
Ugly Fish Lips
AOL

And also the only other people I have ever seen with big ugly fish shaped lips like hers are an actor on the soap thats going off the air, Guiding Light and he plays a religious Father, and the actress who is in her 70's Carolyn Conwell who played Paul's mother on The Young and The Restless from 1980-2004 and they are ugly too and I could never stand to look at them either!

A guy recently said on nbcnework.com that he always thought Angelina was ugly with her big catfish lips, and he said she looks like the fish he used to catch in the lake when he was a kid!

On a site askville 2 married men said they think Angelina is the ugliest celebrity and one of these men said that she has lips like a Kissing Gourami fish!

And on another site where they showed before and after plastic surgery Angelina had including an obvious nose job, a guy said really ugly woman with a skeleton body and a fish face. And another poster said she had plenty of plastic surgery but it didn't help because she still looks like a fish! And another poster said that there is nothing wrong with big lips but her lips aren't pretty and are way too big, and shaped like an as*****

* Exactly!*

Also writer Tomothy Sexton said in an online article that he wrote about how he doesn't think Hallie Berry is a great beauty,and that his wife is 10 times better looking, and that he just finds Hallie average looking,he said he doesn't find Angelina average he thinks she's just plain ugly!

And a guy who runs a site on geocities called,80 Most Beautiful Women abnd he adds more famous and not as famous beautiful women,doesn't include Angelina ugly fish face and he said he never found her attractive at all!

Also on Yahoo! Answers a bisexual woman said she finds her very unattractive!

Another guy said she's ugly also and he said she looks like a half fish half woman thing from the island of Dr.Morue.

And on a motorcycle forum they were discussing Farrah Fawcett's death, and a guy said he never found her attractive so another guy said you must be gay to not find Farrah attractive,and then he said but he thinks Angelina Joolie is an ugly dog and he is as far from gay as it gets!

Ugly Fish Lips
AOL

And also the only other people I have ever seen with big ugly fish shaped lips like hers are an actor on the soap thats going off the air, Guiding Light and he plays a religious Father, and the actress who is in her 70's Carolyn Conwell who played Paul's mother on The Young and The Restless from 1980-2004 and they are ugly too and I could never stand to look at them either!

A guy recently said on nbcnework.com that he always thought Angelina was ugly with her big catfish lips, and he said she looks like the fish he used to catch in the lake when he was a kid!

On a site askville 2 married men said they think Angelina is the ugliest celebrity and one of these men said that she has lips like a Kissing Gourami fish!

And on another site where they showed before and after plastic surgery Angelina had including an obvious nose job, a guy said really ugly woman with a skeleton body and a fish face. And another poster said she had plenty of plastic surgery but it didn't help because she still looks like a fish! And another poster said that there is nothing wrong with big lips but her lips aren't pretty and are way too big, and shaped like an as*****

* Exactly!*

Also writer Tomothy Sexton said in an online article that he wrote about how he doesn't think Hallie Berry is a great beauty,and that his wife is 10 times better looking, and that he just finds Hallie average looking,he said he doesn't find Angelina average he thinks she's just plain ugly!

And a guy who runs a site on geocities called,80 Most Beautiful Women abnd he adds more famous and not as famous beautiful women,doesn't include Angelina ugly fish face and he said he never found her attractive at all!

Also on Yahoo! Answers a bisexual woman said she finds her very unattractive!

And on a motorcycle forum, they were discussing Farah Fawcett's death and a guy said he never found her attractive, and another guy you must be gay to not find Farrah attractive and he said but he thinks Angelina Jolie is an ugly dog and he's as far from gay as you can get.

And on a blog called,walletpop.com in the topic of Angelina being overrated, a poster Gary said, Miss Fish Lips,she is one ugly female.

And another poster replied, Miss Fish Lips! I have never in my life seen such horrible lips on a human,how ugly she is gag!

And another poster said,she is DISGUSTING! I don't know how Brad does her Blech!!

[Cat Pryde]

Yes, Angelina Jolie is an ugly woman. Her nose is thin compared to how fat her lips are. And her husband is not that cute. ;)

[Lol]

Angelina is so fkin ugly.. skinny and her face is soo creepy... ugh

[Emily]

LOVEEEEEEEEEE IT
ange needs major support for her lips
and age looks like she is in control
and looks very powerful.

[nicole]

I agree with Ned. She looks like a cadaver!!! I would shudder to think of what she looks like without all of that hooker-esque make up one. Her nasty "eqyptian" eyeliner hides the bottomless pits that contain her ugly bug eyes. Her lumpy-lopsided lips are just disgusting. Lets not forget how freakisly SCARY she used to look before she got her makeover after she seduced Brad Pitt for her annual attempt at a career boost.

[Ned]

Maybe everyone here is loosing their mind Angelina Jolie is disturbingly ugly in fact she parallels "fugly". She is the epitome of what a Vietnamese hooker on heroin crossed with GI-Jane looks like. I truly am sorry that reality has distorted itself to the point that we find that "thing" good looking.

[sue]

I find it amusing that she has sticks for limbs! HEHEHEHEH(evil smirk)

[Jacqueline L]

Cool! Very apt satire on the perils of overexposure :p

Love it! Lip support - very funny!

[JOE]

this is the most ugly painting of the most ugly artist

[KELVIN]

HEY, THE WOMENS PAY MONEY TO GET THOSE LIP. DON'T MAKE FUN ON IT.THIS IS VERY UGLY PAINTING BY THE WORST ARTIST.

[Karanina]

I just happened across this site and am so thankful. Your work is brilliant and hilarious. I love Dali! But I have to say you seem to have omitted those weird wrinkles in Angelina's ginormous lips. They actually look like a rumpled king-size duvet.

[cowlick Deann]

I think the sticks are to hold her head up because her body just can't do it. She's a typical lollipop head...but with boobs.

[tupaki]

Yoyoyguesss whos back in da houseonce again live d da life of /GUns Daggers dropa a gem on eemm

[elmer troupe]

hello i'm angelina jolie new supervisor have her contact me. or send me a round trip tickit to her location....

money please

i do not like it it is insulting

[Michelle]

I think I have a girl crush on you 14! This one is absolutely hands-down amazing work.

[crimsonic]

Have you sold this yet?
How much?
I want it.

[licoricepirate]

koolz !

[Becca]

I can even express how much I LOVE THIS!

[Viper Tetsu]

Somewhere, Dali navigates a jet ski over the soppy surface of a melting pocket watch, and the curly bits of his wildly-curlicued moustache arch heavenword in approval at this. Great, great, fucking beautiful. End of story.

Incidentally, I think you've captured Pitt's puss just fine. His character-less mug translates for shit in ANY medium.

[midevil]

Yes! Now, let's see some TomKat Escher!!!

[Nick Breeze]

I think it suits them. They're both quite sycophantic, they need to be taken on a quick trip to Dali-world to get their lives straightened out. Support for those lips... a good thing!

[cheryl pieper]

I always check your gallery.
Your an amazing artist.
Thanks for shariing it with us.
Don't like Brad or Angelie, but the picture is awesome.

[Viridiana]

Wow! I love all this..its beautiful. I mean the it looks so good..your a master! I still have a long ways to go in oil painting. I havent mastered it yet, but I just moved on to acrylics (because of a class)... Anyway, that painting is awesome!

[Rix]

Along with Dali, Munch is one of my favotite painters. Perhaps Jennifer Aniston could be "SCREAM". :P

[This is so Punk]

What a work of art. It makes me smile.

[Morrigan]

This is better than I imagined, 14. I don't know what's better Angelina's lips or Brad's dumbfounded stare. I wish I could come up with a comment that describes him, but everyone else seems to have hit the nail on the proverbial head!

[Dawn (webmiztris)]

i love the separate prop for each giant lip...

[Demon Kitty]

You are so talented 14! This is a really lovely painting!
Demon Kitty

PS When is that Brangelina shrine coming? Ha ha!!!

[Big A]

Brilliant!

[Moonmaid]

Oh, I beg to differ, it looks exactly like him. Very funny. What are the buildings in the distance?

[isabella]

Great job 14. Although I can't stand her and he's just a puppy.....look at him! You captured him 14. Sick with lust.

[Marie]

Haven't mastered oils? I beg to differ. I'll show you my work and you'll see someone who has not mastered oils. :D

Gotta tell you this is going to be a classic. I love it immensely -- it's quite hypnotic and peaceful too. You're something else altogether. Thank you.

[14]

Brad doesn't look like Brad? Well that's because he's a Salvador Dali Brad. He's MEANT to look like Russell Crowe one moment and Beau Bridges the next. Haven't you people ever heard of Dali's Paranoiac-Critical Method? Sheesh.

HAW! Just kidding. Brad doesn't look like Brad because I've not quite mastered the medium of oils. It looked like Brad for a while, but then something bad happened. Oh well, pretend it's Brad!

love,
14

[Elaine]

Oh wow. this is my ultimate favorite painting thus far.

[Katie]

Brad looks exactly like Russell Crowe in that picture. But...hilarious.

[Karen Rani]

Fucking genius. LOVES IT.

[Kamala]

Oooh, this one is gorgeous. I like Brad's ... blue ... hair (?) Or is it that floppy sock-hat thing he always wears? Masterful, as always, 14.

[Margaret]

Is that Brad? I thought it was Beau Bridges...

[Damien]

Bella, I must admit I was smitten by Dali in my early teens. Loving Brads smitten gaze, and Angies extra lip support (totally neccesary, those puppies could destroy a small town if they ever got loose.

[pawleysgirl]

Once again...pure genius.

[Long Island Irish]

That's really great. I love Brad in the background looking bewildered as usual. He looks like he's waiting for her to hand him a list of chores.

[Sharp Lily]

I love! It's a beautiful, interesting, funny peice. (And I don't even like either of them.) Thanks!

[tricia]

My favorite part? Extra support for the lips! Very funny and lovely and intimidating, really. Dali's one of my favorite artists. I see Brad has been put in his proper place.

[This is so Punk]

Once again, it looks great!

[TheIdleReceptionist]

Ahh...the adoring Brad in the lower corner!!

[Hugh G.]

Oh man, thanks for making my Monday! 14, you are a pop culture Goddess.

[Andrea]

It took a while to notice that Brad only gets one 'pedestal' under his "Upturned in Holy Adoration" face, compared the many Angelina needs to support her immense greatness. What will become of him. They certainly don't look like equals.
veeeery funny and beautiful. Thank you.