Viewing Joe Simpson through the filthy looking glass of celebrity gossip, he appears as the Creepiest Dad in Hollywood. You won't find this term printed in the tabloids, but bloggers have no problems pointing out their perception of Jessica and Ashlee's daddy/manager. Papa Simpson elevated his own level of creep straight into the stratosphere a few years ago while speaking of daughter Jessisca's ample assets. This little gem came a'tumbling out of his mouth: "If you put her in a T-shirt or you put her in a bustier, she’s sexy in
both. She’s got double D’s! You can’t cover those suckers up!"
Not the words you'd expect from a former Baptist minister. Shudder.
On top of that, Joe has adopted the slick (and often hilarious) fashion sense typically seen on aging men in Hollywood. This means wearing expensive silk shirts with bold images of fire breathing dragons and hotrod flames, oversized jewelry, and complicated jeans purchased from hip youthful boutiques. If you're going to ogle boobs, you may as well be dressed like a clownish strutting peacock.
This is first of my collection of trading cards based on Hollywood archetypes created from gossip-inspired folk tales. I'm doing a set of 25 and all will be posted as soon as I finish each one. Medium: graphite and ink on board, digital color.
Nathaniel R from The Film Experience was kind enough to post an interview with me and you can read it here. His cinematic musings are much more interesting than my blathering nonsense, so do be sure and check out his blog. Also many thanks to TMZ.
