Janice Dickinson's New Modeling Job

 

Phrenology was a popular 19th century "science" believed to accurately predict personality and character traits by studying the size and shape of the skull. No phrenologist office was complete without a ceramic phrenology head, and soon no 21st century plastic surgery office will be without the Janice Dickinson Cosmetic Plastic Surgery bust. This useful new tool allows surgeons to explain all available cosmetic procedures to their patients before they undergo the knife. It's made of durable high density polymer and includes most every cosmetic surgery procedure currently available. If you're considering cosmetic plastic surgery, now you can see what your results might look like...and you just might think twice.

This Gallery of the Absurd illustration appears the cover of Janice Dickinson's book "Everything About Me Is Fake...And I'm Perfect".

"Supermodel Janice Dickinson tackles the perils of looking perfect, debunks beauty myths, and offers commonsense advice about looking good cheaply, easily, and on your own terms, while feeling good about yourself no matter what."         

Put down your Kierkegaard and buy Janice's book immediately! You know you want to.

A special thank you to .net Magazine for the interview with 14. Read it here.

 

My first book cover.

Comments

[nno-celebs]

Now that she looks like an alien freak, maybe Tomkat will take her away with them when the mothership returns.

[Long Island Irish]

EWWW what has she done to herself?!

[Damien]

Just bloody brilliant, doctors could also drag her out and place her before patients "now do you really want to go ahead with this ... I thought not, heres a tissue".

[Andrea]

I knew Janice in NY back in the hayday, and you always knew things were not gonna be dull when she'd come around..Her outsize ego was legendary, her exhibitionism second to no fricking model, photographer, editor, ANY body. She was a real original.
No she just wants to stay in the limelight any which way she can, doing a parody of herself. But the parody is almost identicle to the real self. I actually think she is still very lovely. Just , like, too damn loud. As ev'....
Love ya,

[Leslie]

You've made it to the big time. Congrats!

[midevil]

Ok, now we have to see one of TomKat, with Tom's saggy boobies and bloated torso next to the tall kitty he lets out for walks.

[mpcmike]

i find it so ironic that she'll have all that work done but doesn't realize that those ugly-ass tattoos ruin everything.

[cherise]

ha!! i love the neck! and the torso is so plasticky. it's 100% her

[Jenn F.]

Three-way with Dolph Lundgren and Grace Jones?!?

*retching loudly*

[David]

she's a BIG FUCK!

[Chansmom]

As a teenager, I used to be in awe of her beauty. I have the same coloring as her, and would always strive to get that "Janice look" that stared out from the magazine covers she adorned in her hey day. Her sister, Debbie, gorgeous too.

Now, Janice has turned into a parody of herself. Too bad, she just ought grow old with some grace. I have to wonder how these made over types are going to look when they do start showing some age. I don't think it's going to be pretty.

Good work, 14.

[Josh Maday]

This is great, 14. I'm sure the day is coming when plastic surgery for the masses hits big and out of the five hundred people at the grocery store, only a half dozen will look different, most of whom will be Tom Cruise or Oprah. So someday I will be Tom Cruise, and I'll dance on any furniture I damn well please.

Mark Budz wrote a novel called Idolon, set in a time when we all wear the image of our favorite celebrities just like a costume. Fun stuff. It's worth checking out.

Excellent work, as usual, 14.

[Bella]

Wow, 14! I thought they were all just saying that because it's so lifelike! Well done, and I love this so much. Janice is my bitch, man.

[Viper Tetsu]

Too bad stupidity and tastelessness can't be whittled away by a plastic surgeon's knife, otherwise Dickinson could REALLY improve herself.

The Crayola red rouge on the deliciously un-self-aware cackling face is the sublimely icky frosting on the cake here. AND there's a phrenology reference to boot.

You're the antichrist, I swear on Jesus's silk teddy. And that's a compliment.

[Demon Kitty]

Fuck! They really are using your picture for the cover of the book?!!! I am impressed 14! Janice was so fucking hot when she was young. When I heard about her three way with Dolph Lundgren and Grace Jones, I wanted to barf.

Demon Kitty

[licoricepirate]

LoLLLLLLz

love it !

[GGG]

Jowl removel? Please tell me that's a joke.

p.s. like the other person said, the FIRST cover was the barbie doll.

[Jillian]

It is indeed a real book. The first printing has the barbie doll cover and the reprint has the Janice head on it.

buy the reprint it's a collector's item.

no nose job?

[DonnaJEM]

This is terrific.
There is NOTHING perfect about Janice Dickinson. She is a loud mouth dunder-headed ass hat.
She USED to be pretty, now she's been streched, stitched, and stuffed, to quote Diane Keaton in The First Wife's Club, "She's a Thanksgiving turkey!"

[Eva]

She looks like a plastic doll to me, and this illustration is great :) fake fake fake!

[Janina]

Imma piss myself...

Oh lord girl, that's good.

[Annette]

Congratulations on the cover! It's great.

I had to go to Amazon.com to check the book, if it is a real book and if so for fear that she might have used 14's portrait of her as book cover. I was relieved to see that it is only barbie on the cover. poor barbie. Really! who is going to buy this book. I don't want to see her fake boobs and stretched to the sky eyebrows.