This vintage-style pulp novel is modeled after those fantastic sci-fi paperbacks of the 50's and 60's. In this twisted story of unleashed terror and spine-tingling horror, a mad scientist clones Nicole Richie in order to add to his macabre collection of human curiosities...but his experiment goes terribly wrong when the clones continue multiplying. Forming an unruly mob, they break out of the laboratory and begin to terrorize the beaches across the U.S. Can these angry starving clones be stopped before it's too late? This Halloween parody created with ink and digital color.
Gallery of the Absurd has been posting several Halloween-themed paintings during the month of October. Dracula, skeletons, space aliens, Donald Trump....all are fodder for chills and nightmares. One of the scariest images we saw this year was the Star magazine cover photo of a skeletal Nicole Richie struggling to run down the beach. Interestingly, she looks cute in many of the photos that were taken of her that day, but Star managed to find the most horrifying photo in the batch and in classic tabloid maneuver, featured it on the cover. We hope our subscription never runs out. Medium: Star magazine cover manipulated with a little Photoshop.
i want to registered
Posted by: sajjad | February 05, 2007 at 10:47 PM
c'mon everyone, stop pretending that thin girls aren't the HOTTEST girls
Posted by: jray | January 12, 2007 at 03:22 PM
I think that she looks like she's been on drugs for the last 10 years of her life. How old is she? Those pictures make her look like at least 50.
Posted by: Angelica | December 07, 2006 at 05:55 AM
JAJAJAJA!!!!!
BELLISSIMO QUESTO SITO!!!!!
LAURA
ROMA
ITALIA
Posted by: Laura | October 29, 2006 at 02:07 AM
isn't it funny how nobody wrote about the Katie Holmes appearance so far?? LOOK AT KATIE HOLMES! It might be the exact image of her current psychological condition! Brainwashed and numb and LAUGHING
Posted by: Lies | October 28, 2006 at 04:04 PM
Ohh, that cover is a very accurate parody. Ow.
Posted by: Rhea | October 28, 2006 at 06:41 AM
Incidentally, Quatorze, in case you haven't done so already, you should go to this very apropos link:
http://www.cubpack81.com/images/carve_pumpkin.swf
...And please in the name of all that is (un)holy, give us some scary celeb pumpkins, dude.
Posted by: Viper Tetsu | October 27, 2006 at 03:45 PM
This site is the best. Not only is there consistently hilarious and high-quality art, but the comments, descriptions, and opinions that you guys post just completely crack me up. You really do 14 and her work justice.
But I digress. Nicole must have really been traumatized by spending too much time as the chubby sidekick of the skank. But hey... I'd take a little extra chub over a crab infestation any day.
Posted by: Jenn F. | October 27, 2006 at 03:12 PM
I find it really sad. The ribs, the bones, the sternum, not to mention her baggy bikini make her look like a a person at the end stage of a terminal illness who needs the nurse to refresh their diaper. Someone help this girl.
Posted by: Demon Kitty | October 27, 2006 at 02:13 PM
i'm surprised that Nicole is still alive thesedays ..and karen carpenter dead? Why are all the useless ones still alive?
Posted by: red | October 26, 2006 at 09:49 PM
i simply refuse to believe this thing was running along anywhere. the rocks rolling about in her empty bony skull was probably so mind numbingly loud that is was the rattling and rocks knocking about which drew the attention of the photogs as opposed to her celebrated body image.
Posted by: deanna | October 26, 2006 at 07:08 PM
I love Nicole. I hear she is getting help with her weight....finally.
Posted by: s | October 26, 2006 at 06:05 PM
14, hasn't Star given you a free subscription yet? How about Weekly World News? With all the pub you're giving them they should at least do that for you.
Oh, and I guess why Tom won't marry Katie is because. . .she's so much more attractive than he is? At least in the above pic. . . She does seem quite a bit more human there than usual. :)
Posted by: jerkygirl | October 25, 2006 at 07:42 PM
Terror on the Beach might make an excellent B movie. The undead, in the form of emaciated celebrities, come to meance the living. In fact, I think that I smell a possible "Tree House of Horror" Simpsons episode!
Posted by: AgentOrange | October 25, 2006 at 10:39 AM
The scariest thing about this picture, apart from the inherent scariness of her entire person, is how accurate it is. The reimagining of Nicole R. as the fly was funny but clearly she's not see through (tho who knows how long that will last.) No, this rendering is terrifying for bringing out what's truly there. So scary.
Posted by: Account Deleted | October 24, 2006 at 10:57 PM
In addition to sci-fi paperbacks, you're also riffing on EC comics with your illo, and it's like a special gift to us dorks old and/or nerdy enough to get the reference.
As always, the minute details make for the spiciest spices. The address label on The Star, for one, made me pee myself. Literally. Thanks; now I've gotta go change.
Posted by: Viper Tetsu | October 24, 2006 at 09:56 PM
Awesome, again - simply awesome!
Posted by: Pat Angello | October 24, 2006 at 08:40 PM
hahaha that's classic! licoricepirate, they don't really know how much they weigh, they have an "expert" take an educated guess.
Nicole should cash in on the Halloween festivities and play a mummy in a haunted house. wouldn't it be great if they made her do that on SIMPLE LIFE?? hahahaha and Paris could be some sort of diseased witch, what with that hook nose and wonky eye.
Posted by: Javelin | October 24, 2006 at 07:56 PM
For some reason I read the heading to say, "Attack of the Bones". Y'now, a spoof of Star Wars Attack of the clones?
Posted by: chuckawicka | October 24, 2006 at 04:49 PM
Gross. Not even a Rob Zombie flick would chop her up.
Posted by: midevil | October 24, 2006 at 03:49 PM
Yucky that girl is like a sub zero size, poor, poor girl ... hope shes getting real help, you know not 'Paris' help.
Posted by: Damien | October 24, 2006 at 01:21 PM
BRILLIANT!!!
Posted by: | October 24, 2006 at 11:46 AM
She DOES look tragically skinny and grotesque, but you can tell from all the other photos that the one featured on the cover was taken as she was running, hence the loose skin, tits and loose bikini bottom all succumbed to gravity simultaneously - in the other still photos, her belly doesn't look wrinkled at all. I do think it's wicked of them to troll for the worst and then splash that about. On the other hand, if Nicole were a piece of fried chicken, she'd be neck-and-neck with Madonna competing for the last stringy nasty piece left in the bucket - the one no one wanted. Viva fried chicken!
Posted by: phlegmfatale | October 24, 2006 at 08:29 AM
OH sh*t.. that's a very disturbing photograph
Posted by: berni | October 24, 2006 at 07:49 AM
She didn't buy a medium bathing suit thats whats so scary... thats probably an XS. She needs to start shopping in the kids section.
Posted by: AC | October 24, 2006 at 07:28 AM
ahahahahahahahaa!
..
how do they know how much stars weigh ?
what, do they hide airport luggage scales under the red carpet or sumfing?
o__O ..
i always wondered this.
Posted by: licoricepirate | October 23, 2006 at 06:09 PM
The "dumpy diaper" look is hot.
Poor Nicole. I'm sure she bought a small size, but they're still too large.
Posted by: Jillian | October 23, 2006 at 06:03 PM
genius and so much truth to your ironic art, soo true about horrible tabloid photos, but you just can't help but revel in it when the outrageous ones (ahem, TOM) are in your face and drive you batty.
Posted by: jenny vorwaller | October 23, 2006 at 04:12 PM
I love how you put "TOM" in rainbow... ha!
I visit your page often and it always makes me laugh. Awesome work, really.
Posted by: Tee | October 23, 2006 at 02:53 PM
Yuck! She looks like a shriveled mummy they show in museums and oddity shops, and that limp bikini hanging off her butt isn't helping either! Doesn't she know men like women who have a bit of body fat- to give them curves- and also to make them soft and huggable? She doesn't look huggable- she looks a preserved corpse, which is lacking in sex appeal. Good job and emphasizing every wrinkle and jutting bone. I visit this site every day, it's one of my guilty pleasures.
Posted by: Joey | October 23, 2006 at 02:47 PM
Ha ha. Man, she really does look wicked bad. With that face she's making and the bones protruding through her skin it looks like all she's been sustaining herself with is lemons.
Posted by: fishpucker | October 23, 2006 at 02:43 PM
egads, she's gross! if I saw that on the beach, I would definitely run in the opposite direction!
Posted by: Dawn (webmiztris) | October 23, 2006 at 02:34 PM
One would guess that a girl of her size would stop buying medium and large sized bathing suits that swim on her skeletal frame and reveal what happens when you live on coffee, nicotine and the occasional leaf of iceberg lettuce.
Secondly you are right when it comes to magazines picking the one picture out of dozens that would make her look the worst.
Sucks to be famous...but then there is all that money...sigh.
Funny shit 14!
Posted by: Crees_dahl | October 23, 2006 at 01:11 PM