David Gest 2007 Pin Up Calendar

Flipping through one of my beloved Star magazines while on vacation, I came across a titillating photo of David Gest washed up on the beach. His cottage-cheese-in-a-ziplock-bag physique spills onto the sand with dapples of sunlight casting mysterious shadows along the pocked and lumpy flesh Liza Minnelli used to call "husband. While not quite as well-known in the States, David Gest is considered to be the "Weirdest Person in the World" across the pond. Mr. Gest was dunked in a rusty tank full of alligators, snakes and spiders on a recent U.K. television show. Those Brits really know how to entertain themselves - public humiliation of annoying celebutards makes for quality living room entertainment. Medium: ink, acrylic and gouache hastily painted in sketchbook late at night. Much thanks to Viper Tetsu for a bit of word craftiness.

Comments

[Jane]

Here in the U.K. he has his own t.v. advert now going out about how he likes it so much hes moved here and hes launching his own chat show, he is also a Judge on Grease the Word,he seems to have teamed up with Simon Cowell,he has been ordered to tone down his criticism by show producers.he told one hopeful: "I've got bowel movements more exciting than your performance."
Criticising another potential contestant, he said: "I've a cousin who could dance better and she only has one leg!"A source told The newspaper
He's taken great joy in humiliating the contestants and he's really upset some of them.
It's not an exercise in putting people down and it's not the David Gest Show. The other judges are getting tired of it. He's well overstepped the mark." David Ian another Judge on the show said hes struggling to work out why David is there. He is one of the most 'different' people I've ever met. He's nice enough, but has some very strange, mad moments.

[Jane]

For those of you that havnt seen David in the Tank on im a celeb i thought i might post the link to it
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=72ctxrNn9Hc&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fpic4%2Epiczo%2Ecom%2Fanimal%2Dlover99%2F%3Fg%3D29998300%26cr%3D4

all so one of his storys he kept us amused with his CGWH charity

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rDMwKSEORiY&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fpic4%2Epiczo%2Ecom%2Fanimal%2Dlover99%2F%3Fg%3D29998300%26cr%3D4

[Jane]

I dont know why people have to insult David at all since leaveing the jungle he has lost all the extra weight and the Bits have taken him to there hearts hes hilarious with his storys,

[moonmaid]

Scary, scary, scary scary!

I haven't been so visually traumatized since seeing photos of Steven Tyler's cottage cheese ass frolicking in the surf with a nubile babe.

come to think of it, 14, can you do a painting based on this image? Steven Tyler as "The Missing Link". From thesuperficial:

http://thesuperficial.com/2007/01/steven_tyler_is_the_missing_li.html

[Javelin]

omg I saw that picture of him kissing a pretty blonde and was horrified--is this the begining of the end?! david gest was the last frontier, the one place I didn't think paris hilton's army of sluts would venture or occupy. I was wrong. I bet they've been sending messages through the media. "Flash your boob if you're going by land; your crotch if you're going by sea."

[erica]

And to think that I have the first sketch.

[Noelegy]

Not enough brain bleach in the world to wipe away this image...eww!

Re: ziplock bag full of cottage cheese. I used to work with a woman who was blessed in the gluteal area, and she had an unfortunate habit of wearing white stretch pants. Her butt looked like a bag full of mini-marshmallows.

[china blue]

Seconded. I'm not sure how we came to take this loveable walrus to our hearts, but he managed it - but not before we nearly drowned the fucker.

By the way - my eyes! They BURN!!!
LOL

[Mitiori]

Wow. This totally reminds me of the 2007 GOP Calendar and Dick Cheney as Mr. August.

[Texas]

Sexy.....not! Why the hell did Liza marry that guy? The horrible kiss haunted me to this day. Wouldn't be surprised if Liza found your site and see this picture...just maybe she'd beat it off to that pic....Ack!

[Viper Tetsu]

Whee! I'm a footnote on a GOTA post! I can die happy.

The man-boobage is breath-taking (and lunch-losing), and rendered with astonishing clarity. Am I the only masochist aching (literally) to see the other 11 months? Please oh please oh please...

[Elizabeth]

Believe it or not, he's loved in the UK now. He was hilarious on I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here and has become a bit of a national treasure.

[midevil]

Beautiful colours! Too bad it's all wasted on such a guy.

[deanna]

now brandon davis and david gest on the same beach sunning delicously in the sand with only the whisper of a wind between their oil soaked sweat drenched bodies glistening wildly in the sun.... hey now!!! i felt defeated after those two jewels premiered on the same page. fabulous work.

[WTF]

Yuck at first I thought it was Brandon Davis from the pictures of him sunning himself this weekend. Still gross though.

[Charlene]

Oh My Good Flying Spaghetti Monster.

You could market this as a diet aid: one look and you'd lose any interest in food you had.

[Demon Kitty]

Once again, I am overcome with the desire to violently puke and laugh at the same time. The feeling of being simultaneously nauseated and amused is always interesting. Thanks to you 14, I am having new emotional/physical experiences! I must say I was horrified when I saw a picture of an attractive blonde kissing David Gest. I am going to assume that this woman was on mega doses of X. You are so funny 14, but if I look at this picture again, I am going to wretch up 90% of my body.

So Much Love,
Demon Kitty

P.S. I think David Gest and Paris Hilton should start dating. I would never eat again.

[Karin]

This post is just further evidence (as if we needed it) of Liza Minelli's diminishing brain power. Looking at that giant gut, I guess I now know why she punched him in the head instead of the stomach.
Great work, as usual, 14! Keep it coming!

[azuka]

Ewwwwww... My gosh! I'm Offended.

Feliz Año Nuevo 2007, 14!

[Andrea]

I saw that photograph somewhere, and it is almost exactly as you depict it. A tinse bit of exaggeration on the rolling of the eyes, but, hey, and it was shocking as hell in and of itself. Thanks for doing someone who is not as FAMOUS famous, but so forced upon us that he is forever indeliby etched into our mind bank. What wasssss she thinking, marrying it? Please don't let me ever be that deluded. Or anyone else.

[The Frankenstein hair is pretty great, too]

The nipple shadow! The nipple shadow!!! ARGH!!!!

[Kai]

Ahhh! Eww! Excuse me while I regain my composure... Well, I don't know if his face is as bad as you show it, but he looks like a drunk luggard who drinks beers sloppily while watching the game and insulting his wife (if he is lucky enough to have one, pity for her). Oy, no seriously, my eyes do not deserve this kind of trauma. In a vat of spiders, snakes, and alligators, I'm sure compared to him they all looked rather appealing. And that is my snarky rant for today. (I should be grateful you didn't post this yesterday, can you imagine viewing this on a wicked hangover?)

Shalom,
Kai
(Your token Jewish commenter)

[say]

Man thats sexy!

[Chansmom]

Gah! My eyes! My eyes! LOL!

[Bo$$]

*stares @ screen then faints...