Kooky Hollywood Moms: Kathy Hilton

I've often wondered what the phone conversations would be like between Kathy and Paris Hilton. I imagine Paris calls her mother each time she's publicly shamed after one of her many scandals. "Mommy, mommy, why are they so mean to me? Why mommy, whyyyyyyyyyy?" Kathy rolls up her silken sleeves and spends hours reassuring Paris of her superiority over others. Kathy Hilton is the enabling mama bear who never wants her precious Paris to experience the sting of being responsible for her own misguided actions. Kathy's anger was evident when she told Fox News that her poor little Paris has nothing to do but stare at the ceiling while sitting in jail. What a travesty! According to a Hilton biography, she's also proud of Paris's sex tape. As they say, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Medium: Acrylic, ink, oil pastel, and secret elf technology on board.

Comments

[Pun_inpendid]

Hey, would that be a crab apple ...? Couldn't help myself. Love the Drama Mama renditions 14! Though can't stand the actual women - note - did not say Ladies - themselves. You nail them every time. I saw countless drawings and cartoons of the blob and yours was the only one that really captured her - both her real likeness and her inner "ick"ness : )

[Viper Tetsu]

She bears a certain resemblance to Michael Moore. A skinnier, blonder, female Michael Moore.

With all due respect to Mr. Moore, eww.

[Adam Smith]

Hi Knox.

I just realised,I called you Bronx.
Believe me,that was completely unintentional.It's must be because I'm
re-reading Luc Sante's "Low Life: Lures and Snares of Old New York",a history of New York's underworld from 1840 to 1900 at the moment.
For some reason the names collided in my mind,causing me to call you a district of New York.
This was not some sort of bizarre insult.

[Hiltron]

You really captured her nostril curve. Bravo!

[Pearly]

I love this series!! Who's next?
Jade Barrymore?
Demi Moores mom?
Lynn Spears?
Patsy Ramsey (such bad taste but she still deserves the posthumous award)
Dina Blohan?

I'm shaking in anticipation!!
Love you!!!

[Adam Smith]

Thanks,Bronx.

For a moment there I was suspicious that you might be being a bit bitchy.

My heritage is Anglo Nigerian,which makes me primed to take offence at the slightest notice.The English side of me is very aware of the culture we have over here of insulting people in a very indirect manner.In England,insults often come as damning with faint praise,compliments of a dubious nature,or gnomic and ambigous statements.

Me? I prefer to call a spade a spade,insulting people in the most direct way possible,if and when,such behaviour is elicited.This is the Nigerian side of me,you've met it,in text form,before.
Nigerians have a whole heirachy of respect and honour which borders on the pathological.I thought I'd succesfully escaped it,but my Nigerian friends assure me,that I most certainly have'nt.
Hair trigger reaction to percieved disrespect is our default mode,the English side of me at least moderates it with humour.

Cross cultural wires have become crossed here.My mis-perception of your intent is entirely based in the customs and practise of my own particular cultural milieu,mistakenly,I transferred these sensibilities to your's.

As for your assertion that I am some kind of privately educated boarding school brat,well, you could'nt be further from the truth.
Imagining me as Emperor Zax,Third Praetor of Epirax III,would actually be a slightly more accurate conjecture.If you're gonna make assumptions about people why not go mad with it? The fact is,the English side of my family is completely completely proletarian,the Nigerian side,ruling class.
I live in England,so the working class side predominates.My Father's social position in Nigeria does'nt matter very much here.
The fact that I use words like gnomic is an indication of my status as an erudite autodidact,whose family value knowledge, enquiry and critical thinking.
These sort of people exist up and down the social ladder,presuming this indicates a priviledged background is incorrect.
Fourteen's picture makes a joke of this, by asserting that Paris' vocalbury is so limited that she does'nt know what the word aptitude means.
One can be assured that Miss Hilton's education did'nt come cheap,the cost made very little difference though.
(My segues are top knotch,excuse me while I pat myself on the back).The boarding school accusation is probably more indicative of your background mate.

Having said that,our paths are convergent,in that I actually look forward to becoming the sort of inconsequential old fart that you are.This is not an "English" sneaky insult by the way, but a real heart felt compliment.How can I really be annoyed by someone who loves modular synths,and is highly critical of DJ culture.You're right on the money with Dangermouse.He's a cunt, so is Paris Hilton's mum.(That segue is less good,but I need to end in way that's vaguely relevant).

Best regards Adam Smith.

(Slightly unhinged but getting better)

[gigi3]

I thought I still might have had a small speck of respect left for Kathy until she blew up because she could buy her precious baby out of trouble this time. Poor Kathy, so upset that her Nicky went into hysterics over seeing Paris in a Jump Suit, Wah, wah, wah.... I wonder how much $$$ Kathy shelled out for Paris's GED....Parents are proud of College Diplomas not porn tapes.

[Knox Bronson]

Dear Adam-

"See what I mean?" was a message to 14, referring to a discussion we were having elsewhere, via email.

As such, it had nothing to do with you, if that's what you are worried about. In fact, I hadn't even noticed you had posted something.

Gnomic ... that's a great word. Whatever boarding school your parents sent you to, to get you away from them, taught you well. But my remark was only gnomic and ambiguous to you, not 14.

[Adam Smith]

By Knox Bronson

"See what I mean?"

No.

Please elucidate.

Your meaning here is gnomic and ambigous.
I've been to your website,so I am fully aware that,like me,you are capable of gassing on at great length about very slight subjects.

I await your reply sweet cherub.

[mellen]

I wish this whole situation would go away...yet...I enjoy ready about anything to do with tradgedy for Paris. Thats why I like this site and sites that parody stars. Make them look like the goof balls they are. The rendering of Kathy Hilton is spot on. She and Paris look so much alike. Moms just as big a HO as Paris, lol.

[Chansmom]

LOL! Yep, you hit upon why Ms. Whiney is so clueless.

While reading about her release from jail, I had to ponder whether she has really had it rought. I mean really rough. Going to bed without dinner (not as a punishment, mind you), not having something nice to wear to say, a job interview (oh wait, she hasn't done an honest days work in her life), or just not having enough money at the checkout line. And you know, she's not had to deal with things like that. NEVER. So why she made such a scene when her boney butt was dragged back to jail was really beyond me.

Let Kathy continue to coddle that gangly, rank, stinkpot. Paris is going nowhere, and fast. I'm sure Kathy is loving every second of this, I didn't know who she was until Parasite, er, Paris started showing up in magazines. Here's hoping both of their 15 minutes are nearly up.

[LittleOracle]

Woot! Hysterical once again! I CANNOT wait to see Dina Lohan, the biggest trainwreck of a Hollywood mom of all!

[WebMasterPete]

Another hit in a long line of stunning performances.
I voted for you.

[Pat Angello]

Beautiful after how many plastic surgeries? And NO she's not beautiful - she's still a mutt. You, on the other hand, are brilliant!

[Horatio Knibbles]

You've got my vote. This is one of my favourite spots on the web! Keep up the good work :D

[DonnaJEM]

Love the Ivana wanna-be hair, and you've captured her wonky cheek implants perfectly. You've also shown how Mamma Hilton's and Paris' nose look exactly the same, the hook down point with flaring nostrils. Really attractive.
Plus I love the hands. The one with the bling looks more like a photo than a painting.
More showcasing of your extreme talent/aptitude.

More excellent job yet again 14.

[tiffy]

this is great. you have captured her likeness so well :)

[Maybelline Jones]

I was watching the last episode of "The Simple Life" - don't judge me too harshly, please. Kathy came to visit her baby at a summer camp for couples therapy and told one young man afraid of committment - "Maybe you're thinking why buy the milk when you can get the cow for free?" It's genetic people!

[midevil]

Well, at least the all-in-the-family explains it. I'd hate to be a fly on the wall for their private parties.

[WTF]

Haaa Haaa Haaa.

You're American royalty. They are just jealous.

Love it.

[Fairlady Z]

The sad part is you know the real conversations are even worse. I can't even imagine the amount of coddling and ego-stroking that goes on there...

btw, I voted for you 14 :)

[Demon Kitty]

if anyone wants to know how Paris became a whore, look no further than Mamma Hilton. I have seen her tits and her tongue as she was wagging it at Rick.

[Knox Bronson]

See what I mean?

[Adam Smith]

Paris has nothing to do but stare at the ceiling? That's fucking outrageous.

Is'nt she aware of the many extra-curricular activiities offered up by incarceration?
Involvement in the vibrant and lively drug trade can make the time pass by,very quickly,offering a variety of diverting activities.

The vicarious excitement experienced,sneaking a bit of heroin past the guards,would easily surpass any of the numerous pleasures so alluringly displayed in the Salomon Vid.She'd need to overcome the overwhelming urge to flash the gash,or the whole game would be up.Pretty quickly.
But,if she seriously fought the need to display her wares like a randy Bonobo Chimp,I'm sure she would fit right in as a drugs mule.
She has the docile clueless expression down pat already.

Making herself a player,(or is that a playa?),in the drug scene opens up many exciting possibilities,but let's concentrate on one;that of senseless
ultra-violence
Killing or seriously wounding another inmate would also represent another nutritive "life challenge" for her.Ted Bundy,Charles Manson,Caligula and Skeletor can all attest to the life enhancing joys offered by inflicting serious violence on another.
She should give it a try.
Once she overcame the immense guilt forced on her by our predominantly Christian culture,the hours would fly by,as she indulged herself in a bloody spree.A makeshift weapon fashoined from a styrofoam cup and a sharpened toothbrush,plus some iron determination,would soon make her the baddest girl on the block.Giving her a chance to reclaim that much needed self esteem.
On her release,she could be assured,that having the eyes of a killer,(and by this I mean literally having the eyes of a killer,mounted on a tasteful bracelet or pendant),would most likely put a stop to all the numerous critics.They'd at least think of buying an extra lock or two...

All it takes is a little bit of imagination.

As for her Mum.Well I always wondered what happened to the the minor characters in Dynasty. It's good to see that at least one is doing well.

[Peta]

Sorry, I just read the article where she compared her offspring to Bambi.

....Yea.

[Peta]

With a mom like that, it's a wonder how Nikki came out as the 'smart' one.

[Elizebeth]

That face is perfect!

The only thing is her hands. I remember seeing them for the first time on her tv shoe "Who wants to be a Hilton" or whatever it's called and they were leathery baseball gloves. She would sit and write in a journal who was going to stay and who was going and the first closeup of them scared me. I realized how much surgery she had done to the rest of her body because her hands looked like "man hands".

[TheReallyJamesBond]

Wonderful, Wonderful, Wonderful and absolutly inspiring artwork as always! You are soooooooo much truly one of the special ones artistically and humorously!
Went to the link site and of course voted for you and the GOTA. Not only that, but last week sent an email to Entertainment Weekly magazine daring them to check you out and then not include you in their EW 100 Stars We Love Right Now issue, (They included websites they loved, too). How dare dey not include GOTA!!! That's alright,... we fans of yourn are all waaaaaaaayyyyyyy ahead of their pop cutural curve on that one!! You Tha' Best!

[JennieBoo]

It's amazing how well you can capture the celebrities we all hate so much.

You know, God gives us all gifts and this one is yours. ENJOY! I do!

[gilmore]

14, you take my breath away. "Aptitude means talent" is killing me! I would like to talk to your elf, I need to learn some of its lessons.
I am absolutely loving this series.

[ChaosbyDesign]

As usual, like a drill into into the cerebellum
Nice series and a great rendering...especially the secret elf technology

[Art Chic]

14 you have done it again. Mort Drucker must be so proud!! Has Mad Magazine offered you a job or are you so busy you don't have time to draw for them?