I didn't watch the VMAs. Sure, I was curious about how Britney's big "comeback performance" would go, but I knew it would be all over the internet as soon as she finished, so why bother? Since I'm more inspired by what you have to say about Britney Spears rather than Britney Spears herself, I decided to illustrate some of the more interesting opinions I found regarding her performance:
Chris Crocker, Britney Spears fan/sobbing YouTube sensation, launches into tearful hysteria and eardrum-busting screams as he pleads to all of us to leave Britney alone. "Her song is called Gimme More for a reason because all you people want is more more more! LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!!! sob."
Nekesa Mumbi Moody of the Associated Press wrote that Britney's performance consisted of "lethargic movements that seemed choreographed by a dance instructor for a nursing home."
Michael K of Dlisted wrote, "I could have dressed a sack of potatoes up in a sequined bikini and turned a tired track on and have gotten a better performance and better lip-synching skills."
Dan Aquilante of the New York Post called Brit's performance "totally lame, pathetically lip-synched" and that "Spears was stuffed into a spangled bra and hot pants and jiggled like Jell-O as she sleepwalked through the song." What got me is when I read the part about how Britney "danced like she had a pantload." Ouch.
Thanks y'all. heh.
Jenn: We must hang out one day. I can tell we share the same sensibilities.
Elez: You're sweet. All these ill LUST rations were done quickly in my sketchbook and I used the prestigious medium of pencil. How grade school!
Kdl: Yep, I'm going to try and get a Perez version done, but I might get bored of this whole Britney thing before I get around to it. We'll see.
Thanks for your comments everyone.
XOXO
eff OH! ewe are TEE eee eee IN
Posted by: 14 | September 10, 2007 at 08:57 PM
That has to be the best illustration I have ever seen.
Posted by: Amy | September 10, 2007 at 08:52 PM
I missed it but found it online, and I have to admit, she blew it. I have to wonder about those that get these incredible chances, and then still don't get it. She needs to call it a day and make some smart investments on what she has left. She's over, and I'm feeling bad for disliking her as much as I do. I just want to give her a good smack and tell her to wake up.
Her chickens came home to roost. She wanted someone else's baby daddy, and she got him.
Good work, 14. I love the top heaviness. LOL!
Posted by: Chansmom | September 10, 2007 at 08:36 PM
I can't believe how much that performance sucked. It was an utterly half-assed attempt. That's what pisses me off. Does she expect to make her millions just by showing up to things? She doesn't even sing any more. And that definitely was not anything remotely close to dancing. Jesus Christ, even her lip synching was all off. What the fuck?! Why even bother trying to "come back" if you're not going to put forward any kind of a serious effort? That was the most pathetic thing I've seen in ages.
Your dancing with a pantload illustration had me laughing, 14. I love that one the best out of this series so far.
Posted by: Jenn F. | September 10, 2007 at 08:16 PM
Wow. How long does it take you to create these masterpieces, Ms. 14? You're pretty snappy, you are!
I couldn't bear to see everything after watching a few seconds of it, it was so HARD. I am curious at the lack of criticism for Sarah Silverman; her monologue BOMBED. She didn't get much laughs AT ALL. And Paris Hilton looked older than her mom there.
Posted by: Eize | September 10, 2007 at 07:34 PM
Brilliant! She still reminded me of a wooden marionette, complete with blank glassy eyed stare, but potato sack definitely works for me. I love your work, 14!
Posted by: Divalicious | September 10, 2007 at 07:03 PM
Brit's performance was like a car crash that I couldn't peel my eyes from. Because of school, I haven't had time to notice Ms. Spears was opening for the VMA's until a few days ago when a commercial on MTV came on. I was shocked thinking "Is she really ready for that?" and after watching the clips on the internet, I have recieved my answer. She pretty much wandered aimlessly on stage while the real dancers were doing all the work. The whole thing was a mess, and reflected her to a T during this period in her life.
Even though she is pretty much an idiot, I can't help feeling utterly sorry for her. Poor girl.
Posted by: Christina T. | September 10, 2007 at 06:32 PM
You're taking crazy lemons and making lemonade. Or are you taking potatoes and making chili cheese covered fries? That geezer you drew could easily dance circles around poor Brit Brit last night. She needed about ten red bulls, smelling salts, and some good old sense. Oh and maybe a jacket.
Your take is always spot on my friend.
xoxo
Posted by: gilmore | September 10, 2007 at 06:22 PM
Fifty Cent's look of utter shock at the end of her "performance" was seriously the best thing I've ever seen. Like "What is this, please, god, get me out of here, I've been shot multiple times but this I cannot deal with."
Posted by: Genevieve | September 10, 2007 at 06:13 PM
I'm soooo upset... the dance instructor has no sequined bikini... shame on you!
You're great, I was hoping that you might react to the Britney Spears fiasco.
Posted by: BadKittyCat | September 10, 2007 at 05:11 PM
The moment I saw that stunned look on her face in the opening close up, I lost all remaining pity for the girl.
I laughed hysterically through the entire performance and have heartily enjoyed all the reviews, including the ones you have highlighted here.
Posted by: Annie Mahoney | September 10, 2007 at 04:52 PM
I started to believe there was a god when I watched the clips on the internet. And she has one hell of a sense of humor.
Posted by: sugarbear | September 10, 2007 at 04:29 PM
that sack of potatoes DOES look hotter than she did!
Posted by: blahsheep | September 10, 2007 at 04:21 PM
Hey 14,
I used to think Britney went all Michael Jackson, but now I realize she went all Valley of the Dolls on us. (Understandable, after the way she was crammed into showbiz)
However, aren't they supposed to give you the wakey wakey pills before a performance?
xxooxox
Posted by: just wonderin | September 10, 2007 at 03:52 PM
did you see perez hilton's comparison of britney's outfit/act to madonna's during the girlie show tour?
Posted by: kdl | September 10, 2007 at 03:10 PM