I'm Sick of Celebrity Fragrances and I'm Not Going To Take it Anymore, Part 1

Diddy recently launched Unforgivable, his new fragrance for women. Ads featuring Doodles Diddy biting, pawing and groping attractive young women caused so much controversy that even MTV refused to air the racy TV commercial unless Diddy agreed to make edits to tone it down. Of course, Diddy refused. No one tells Diddy what to do. The toothy mogul mumbled something about the type of women he had in mind when he "created" the fragrance. "She's strong, she's into fashion, a woman who's sensual and passionate, and a quiet woman. A woman who picks the words she chooses carefully, and when she speaks she says what she means." Interesting how Diddy goes to so much trouble describing the way he prefers women to communicate. I can just hear him, "Shhh, quiet down 'lil lady. Here's some money, why don't you go shopping for something sexy and when you come home, I'll grope you in the hallway. Run along now, and don't come home until you've piped down." Diddy has built his empire around one main thing: Diddy. I've reworked his print ad to better reflect his sensibilities. Medium: photoshop collage, digital paint.

Comments

[Sopia]

Most of the celebrity perfumes resemble their narcissistic makers; sticky, fake, bling-blingy and vulgar...

[Jay Rusovich]

Would someone please sedate this guy before I start to believe he actually exists. Thanks.

[Viper Tetsu]

He'd coat his mama in Kingsford charcoal fluid and set her on fire (and net an obscenely lucrative Pay-per-View contract to broadcast it to boot) if it brought in the Benjamins.

I adore your multi-layered paintings and sketches, but the elegant simplicity of this is what clinches the message. And you've given Diddlysquat the closest thing to a superhero name he'll ever get...Self-Promotion Man. God, it's got me giggling right now. Mag-fucking-NIFICENT.

[Adam Smith]

Both Cunts.

The real Diddy and the manufactured public persona.

[Demon Kitty]

I saw a picture of Diddy standing next to Tom Ford. His skin was heinous. Diddy apparently gets airbrushed A LOT! Tom Ford is 5'11 and Diddy is several inches shorter. I think Diddy might be a bit short. This is why is is what I call "a pygmy wanker" and it could explain a fuck of a lot!!!

Check out the pic:

Tom and Puff the Magic Negro AKA Evil Diddy

Diddy looks like his mouth produces a lot of saliva. Why can't he close that damn thing anyway?

[Artemis]

Also... how did you learn digital coloring? By using tutorials or taking classes for it, or just experimenting? I'm trying to improve my abilities in Photoshop and was just wondering how you learned. Thanks!

[Artemis]

BAHAHAHAHA!!! I love you 14. This is exquisite. The man is such a stuck-up bastard! Why is he even famous? My god leaves more talent on the lawn in tightly-coiled piles, and she doesn't make millions...

[ILSA]

Poof Doodles the Clown makes me sick! What the hell kind of name is "Unforgivable Woman" for a fragrance? How on earth is that appealing? I can only imagine how much ass this must smell like. Watching Poof mouth-breathe and grope and slobber all over a young girl made me positively RETCH.

[Demon Kitty]

FLUFF. I LOVE YOU!!!

"PUFF THE MAGIC NEGRO!!!"

That was fucking hilarious as hell!!!!!!!!!

[Peta]

Makes me hella glad that I am allergic to fragrances.

By the way, sorry for staying away for so long 14. My internet's been dead as hell. :(

[Lily]

Oh, wow -- as president and founder of the International Diddy Hatin' Association, I have to bestow on you a first prize of FABULOUSNESS. That was unreal. I can't stand him SO much, and I love your work SO much, I'm rendered speechless. The best and the worst collide in one piece of art. Him kissing himself is frickin HILARIOUS... and sooooooooooooooooo right on. You're unbelievable. You're like what the Onion would be, if it were funny, not written by 14 year old boys, and could draw. Sensational!

[Jenn F.]

Hey Parissucksliterally... all you have to do is have a look at the top post, or the bottom post, to see whether the names go above or below their associated post. It's impossible for a post to be put with the wrong name... you're just getting thrown off by the line between your post and your name.

Demon Kitty, you crack me up as always. And Wigga Please, your comments about blow-holes made me burst out laughing out loud. Too funny.

I'm tired of the constant name changing that goes on with this dude. First he's Puff Daddy. Then Puffy. Then P. Diddy. Now it's Diddy. Occasionally he's Sean Combs. Why can't he make up his fucking mind? Why the need for an ever-changing identity? How come he never smiles? He's about as gangsta as my grandma.

[Fluff]

I've had quite enough of Puff the Magic Negro

[Marie]

HA HA HA HA HA HA!!

This is fantastic!! :D

(Now please be careful - Diddy and his huge ego won't like this.)

[Kamala]

AhahahHA! I laughed SO loud at this one. Genious. He's so fuckin gross; you summed it all up right there.

[PJ]

Haven't seen the TV ads, but I have heard radio spots. They sound like parody commercials--and the name of the fragrance just adds to it!

[parissucksliterally]

well, this should go over well with the Didiot's camp.....lol

Hey 14, I am parissucksliterally, and the last two times I commented, my comments wound up under someone else's name, and their comment under mine. Bummed me out, because one of my comments was quite witty! (wink)
Love your stuff, as always- you are a GEM.

[Demon Kitty]

Who the fuck buys these goddamn celebrity fragrances anyway??????????????????

[Francine]

Ugh! I wouldn't want his fish mouth on mine. He can't close that thing so you know he's got those little white balls of spit stuck in the corners of his mouth.

[Cici]

What a ripe target for satire celebrity fragrances are. :)Most of them smell absolutely foul, and just like celebrity fashion lines, are we to believe the celebrity in question did any more than slap their name on the final product and bag all the credit? Well, not Gwen Stefani, she tried to help out on her LAMB line and broke her idiotic finger trying to use the sewing machine. Those people shouldn't be allowed near sharp objects and moving machinery parts. (or should they?)

[Jeff]

Simultaneously sparkly earrings. Nice touch.

[just wonderin]

Any chance some of the few words Diddy's woman would choose would be:
"Yo! Dickhead! Do you even KNOW what unforgivable means?"

[Thorne Smith]

This made me smile. I no fan of "Dippy" and his Gary Dell'Abate chompers. Yet another example of minimum talent and good promotion.

14 -- Keep up the greatwork!

[Roz]

Just don't wear the scent to your next court hearing.

[sugarbear]

Oh thank you for this. If he would stop making so many kids he wouldn't need to create crap like this. :D

[christi]

Again perfect, 14! He has got to be the only one who REALLY like him! I hate it when those women on The View slobber all over him! He is such a sickening example of trash with money. I hope this "fragrance" tanks big time! Actually what I really hope is that he will go away!

[Demon Kitty]

LOL, I didn't think the video was that pornographic. Hustler rag is my standard for "officially pornographic". Diddy obviously likes to fuck women from behind while wearing his sunglasses. You know this bitch has a mirror above his bed. I don't know who is worse, Diddy or Paris? Diddy or Madonna? Diddy or J Lo? Fuck Diddy! He loves fur! Fuck this bitch! Evil Diddy! Evil Diddy contributing to animal cruelty so he can beat off to himself. Evil Diddy is another example of narcissism so obscene.

So everyone thinks his fragrance stinks? I wonder if Evil Diddy has create women's perfume that smells like his body odor so he can leave his scent all over womanhood? That would be a narcissist thing to do. "Eau de Sweat Diddy's Pits" "Eau de Sweat Diddy's Balls". "Eau de Sweat Diddy's Ass Crack". I would not be a bit surprised if he beat off into a cup, brought it to the perfume people and said, "i wanna perfume just like this!" Eau de Jizzum Evil Diddy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh darling, the nape of your neck smells like Evil Diddy's Ass Crack! Oh sweet heart, my precious little peach pit, your decollete smells like the sweat of Evil Diddy's balls!!!! My little dew drop, the back of your wrist has a scent so subtle! So sublime! So reminiscent of Evil Diddy's Jizzum!!!

Evil Diddy tops my list of people who need to die and go straight to hell IMMEDIATELY!!!!!!

Hades awaits you Evil Diddy!!!! Your are not allowed in Elysian Fields! Sell that nasty perfume! Ya' gonna need a coin for the ferryman!

[Loulou]

RIGHT ON 14!!

I can't stand this twat. Especially how he thinks he's attractive enough (or at all) to be the 'guy' in a perfume commercial. Reminds me of the Karl Lagerfield ads.

The moment when the celebrity's connection to reality has reached the looney bin heights.

I'll tell you what man perfume I'll buy, one with JOHNNY DEPP on it. And guess what? There never will be a Johnny Depp perfume, because he's not a twat.

[cassie]

Too perfect!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Javelin]

oh THANK YOU, 14, thank you times a million. Diddy annoys me to the point I would send him to paris-britney-reject island in a heartbeat... and would anybody miss him, really?

plus, who wants to be UNFORGIVABLE? any guy who buys that for his girlfriend is either subtly hinting that he knows about her REAL job... or he's an effing moron.

[prettykitty]

LOL @ Jujupitor's comment. XD

[chetat]

Oohhhh, how nice! Two lost hookers fondling their universe together.

[Noelegy]

And you know, that stuff STINKS. I sniffed the sample at Macy's the other day and like unto barfed. Nasty, nasty. I guess it fits him.

[scungilli]

he looks good together ...

[SlumNobility]

ha HAAAAA! Zing! I was unfortunately accosted by some woman at Dillards who shoved a sample of this putrine aroma in mine hands beforest I could object. But the scent IS objectionable, and he should have called it that. When I saw the stinkin glossy promo for it,with him slobbering all over some twit in a hallway, and she pretending to like it because he has a diamond earring... I had to cop a retch face. He's an ape.

[Fairmaiden327]

Bravo.

[Madame M]

Yup-- self-love at its best... only to be surpassed by Diddy diddling himself to pictures of Diddy, perhaps.

Ugh. Just felt a wave of nausea.

[JP]

This is truly brilliant. Bravo.

[brooke]

Hey this is a great one. I think you should paint victoria beckham as a meercat. The resemblance is uncanny.

[Zey]

I almost died laughing from this one XD
Great job, you truly captured the essence of Diddy!

[Elizebeth]

I havent seen the commercial, but only the pictures up on blogs and this should be the advert for this perfume. I love it!

[Crees_Dahl]

LOVE IT! This is exactly the same feeling I get seeing his commercials. BRILLIANT!

[midevil]

Wigga,

You're hot. Can I get your number, honey?

[Liz]

The fact that his video is totally hedonistic and narcissistic not to mention disgusting and sexist I think you capture him well. The video also shows his lack of morals and the name of the fragrance just doesn't make any sense to me. Who would want an unforgivable woman anyway? Oh! I know, P Diddy or Sean John or whatever he calls himself. Gives him good reason to feel he can push/boss her around. I don't see his appeal at all.

[midevil]

Wow, no wonder his chick left him--chick's gotta know how to talk, how to walk, how to Be when she's with Piddy!

You know, I had an SO like that--note, the use of the word "had."

[Wigga Please]

If two mouthbreathers kiss passionately, how do they breathe? Are there blowholes located somewhere under the hair?
I lie awake at night wondering these things.

[Jujupiter]

He should definitely use this advert!!!

[gilmore]

This is one of the best things I've seen! You know Diddy will jerk off to this.

[just wonderin]

Oh Thank you 14! Just moments before I saw your spot on revelation of the true "Diddy" I was trolling the gossip sites, and saw diddy with some of his babies, one of his babymommas and some poor schmuck paid to be his friend. The truly offensive part was the "friend" had on a t-shirt proclaiming:
"Sean John" and I was thinking, damn! Even Kanye doesn't make his minions wear "Kanye" shirts, does he? Now shut up and get me some Cristal bitch!

[Jenn F.]

Gah! I love it! I love it! This is brilliant. There's just nothing more I can say.