I'm Sick of Celebrity Fragrances and I'm Not Going To Take it Anymore, Part 2

Sarah Jessica Parker has a new fragrance out. Yawn. It's called Covet, but after noticing so many bloggers making references to Parker's equine-like face, I think Equus is far more appropriate name. If you squint your eyes while watching this Covet TV commercial, you'll swear you're watching a horse kick its Louboutin clad hoof through a plate glass window. Marketing execs for Covet intended a "playful" approach to market the fragrance, so why not take it a step further and mix a little blogger-inspired snark to the campaign? It'd take guts, but I'd love to see it happen one day. Medium: I tore the Covet ad out of a magazine and used acrylics to paint over it, digital text. Original Painting SOLD

Comments

[LA Woman]

http://www.sarahjessicaparkerlookslikeahorse.com/

[Renne]

Celebrity fragrances are usually butt, but SJP's 'Covet' is actually pretty f'in awesome. Yay SJP!

[Viper Tetsu]

So do I applaud the fact that someone who ain't cookie-cutter faultless can be considered an example of unconventional beauty, or do I snigger derisively and throw down a hearty "Hi, Ho, Silver!" at the notion (long held by me, BTW) that she does, indeed, look like Trigger's sister? I'm not sure which, but laughing like holy fucking hell at your masterful portraiture will indeed come into play, regardless what side of the fence (corral?) I end up on.

I'm a total sucker for unconventional beauty, but honestly, I never got the Sarah Jessica Parker thing. Never, ever, ever.

[ILSA]

Actually, I kinda like SJP...I just find the equine comparisons amusing as well. :)

[ILSA]

Neighhhh! Pffffft!

[Merina]

I think your artistic talent is brilliant.
I am fascinated with your botanicals. Celebrity culture has taken over. For the life of me, I don't know why. I suppose it obliterates the real worldview.
I would like to see your take on the country music world. Tim and Faith, all of the characters and animals in the "country".

[Matt]

Sarah Jessica Parker is cool by me she's not as annoying as many other celebrities who grew up being stars. Her "I had to have it" commercial is freaky though. I agree with the Hocus Pocus thing Cici said, she was pretty in that movie. I love the Equuis thing, It'd be hysterical if Daniel Radcliffe was just staring up at her with heart eyes or humping her, seriously though that play is too much about horse rape to be serious to me.

[Derwood]

Great rendering anyways. Especially the eye lashes and that overly-pushed-up bosom.

[sofia]

this is just GENIUS. i laughed my head off :P

[Rebecca]

I hate "celebrity fragrances" - they usually pick shiteous fragrances... :/
However, that picture, although I do understand the intention, etc., could actually serve as an ad indeed. I absolutely love it! (maybe except the non-equestrial pout ;D )

[buggey]

Why don't you do JENNEFER ANISTON????????

[Jujupiter]

Oh no, you're not gonna stop, just make it evolve! Goooooood! Be careful, you nearly caused apocalypse on the "blogosphere" with that information!

PS: I need to wake up.
PPS: If you find me too annoying, you can delete my previous messages or tell me to shut up!!!

X

[Jujupiter]

Wait, you've just said you're gonna stop Gallery of the Absurd???

OH NO!!!

WHYYYYYYY???

[Jujupiter]

Thank you for your answer :)

I'll remember that this is not what you think but what gossipers think. Even though I tend to think alike at many occasions :D

[Nico]

Haha, as usual you're brilliant.
I have a personal resolution to never buy celeb perfumes. It's tacky and so pathetically vain ( of them )
What really amazes me is that Britney has several perfumes out and she looks like she hasnt showered in 6 months, or who the HELL would want to smell like Celine Dion??
And dear God, Mariah... She sleeps in a sauna, that has got to smell sooo good! *rolls eyes*

[Erik]

Sarahika Jessica Parker is, without a doubt, the ugliest sex symbol of our time. Peter Griffin said it best, "Her face looks like a foot".

I do not want to be like her in any way (except the rich part, that'd be fine).

Well done, Equus should be made of a special blend of horse urine, crocodile tears and hair gel.

[Enormo]

Aren't there any celebrities somewhere between terrifically beatiful and spectacularly hideous? Oh well... at least that insipid ball of self-satisfied snark, Sex In The City, is off the air.

[Eize]

Gee--this is a definite improvement to the original!

Personally, I kind of like SJP, and I don't think she's horsey. The contours of her face does remind me of a spoon, though.

[Demon Kitty]

I remember one woman asking the answer bitch why Sarah Jessica Parker and Jennifer Aniston were on "the cover of every magazine" when they looked like "Mrs. Potato Head's two friends." The Answer Bitch, who really is a bitch said it had something do to with the proportions of their faces and Sarah Jessica Parker's eyes ("those death stars" to quote the bitch).

Sarah Jessica Parker is a celebrity. I am sick of the media telling me I want to look like her and be like her and that I can capture some of this bullshit if I buy her fragrance. Celebrity fragrances are so fucking cheesy. Antonio Banderas' display board in Walgreens is hysterical. Our culture glorifies celebrities and elevates them to deities. I am sick of the media and the fashion industry trying to convince me that I want to be like these motherfuckers. I am glad for the evil Internet backlash against our celebrity culture.

I really liked "Square Pegs". I do think Sarah J P looks like Mrs. Potato head or a horse. Sorry. LOL!!!!!

[Tom]

Any star who comes out with a fragrance deserves to be abused. Brilliant as usual, 14.

[Noelegy]

Okay, where's naked Daniel Radcliffe if this is "EQUUS"?

The first thing that came to mind was that episode of "Family Guy" where Peter says, "They let Sarah Jessica Parker on TV, and her face looks like a foot."

But stheriously, I like SJP for the reasons others have stated: she's not associated with trashy real-life behavior, and she's successful even with unconventional features.

Does anyone else remember "Square Pegs"?

[benoit]

c'est un gros thon cette femme !!!!

[Donna]

14...that sounds very cool. I admire your work, not just because of the celebrity aspect, so i will definitely follow you to where you are going. I've been following this blog since it was itty bitty, I will continue to do so, even if it changes.

I hope some celebrity stuff will appear from time to time though. :)

[Cici]

She was so hot in Hocus Pocus, I've never seen her look so attractive. Trashy blonde wench really works for her. Still, I can still giggle at the horse thing, plenty of people resemble an animal, it's no bad thing. And I agree with you and the other commenters, it is nice to have people in the media who look a bit more distinctive than the many identical more conventionally pretty ones.

Anyway, fantastic! I love the empty eyes and the horsey mane.

[14]

No no, I'm not stopping Gallery of the Absurd, I'm simply evolving it from its present state. Thanks for asking though.

I still enjoy the narratives of celebrity gossip and will continue for a while, but other narratives involving conspiracy theories, propaganda, truth in media, the advertising industry, the fashion and beauty industry and more are where I'm headed. Look for more botanical paintings to appear on the blog too. My creative intent of late is pushing me to focus on exposing the "man behind the curtain".

xoxo
14

[dmumsie]

You've got it on SJP's pretty pony pose and outrageous demeanor in saying we should covet her smell .. but the horse pee smell goes to Diddy's Vulva, people comment tested on the street with Mariah Carey's new fragrance.

[Fairlady Z]

I feel bad for her. Unlike most annoying celebrities I really don't hear too much about diva-like behavior from Sarah Jessica Parker. Of course, I could just be not looking hard enough, but as a large-schnozzled girl myself it's not fun being called a horseface, butterface etc... like what do they expect her to do about it, get a crappy nose job and end up like Paris Hilton with her melting droopy nose? Ick.

So, congrats to Sarah for not going the plastic surgery route. In some pictures she looks gorgeous, in others terrible, but at least she's not copping out and going plastic. Too bad she had to jump on the bandwagon of celebrities hawking perfume to make more sweaty wads of cash.

[superblondgirl]

My ex-boyfriend used to call her "banana head", but I guess "horse face" will do, too. I love the giant lips kissing the perfume bottle.

[H]

Hi,

Love your work, 14, and I'm a bit sad to learn that you're going to stop the gallery of the absurd.

Do you plan to publish your next project on a blog too ?

H

[juhi]

I have no problem with SJP but "I had to have it!" really frighten me.

[Tess]

I really like SJP too, her looks included, she may not have "perfect" features, but pulled all together she has a certain very real charm. Still, I can't help snickering every time Michael K of Dlisted refers to her as My Little Pony Parker. I guess I'm just juvenile like that.

And you did make her a very pretty little pony.

I do despise that ad. "Playful." Is that what they were aiming for? It's just ridic. Your work is playful.

[Cindy]

Too funny!

Yes, poor SJP gets criticized for her unconventional (read: not overly transformed through extenstive plastic surgery) features. But the girl is like every "normal" woman you find out there - her energy is fun, like the energy of your best friend from college who always egged you on to try new things, date wild boys, and just generally live life to the fullest. And she's cute in her own way. I dearly hope that the men of this planet will one day realize that REAL women are the gorgeous ones, not the Chestica Simpson/first eyelift at 16/first breast implants at 17 types.

CK

[just wonderin]

Uhmm, at least her dress looks pretty!
Seriously, I almost pooped my saddle laughing at this one!
Can you hear me counting out your name with my hoof to honor your genius?

[14]

Oh I like SJP too...and for the record, I think she's an attractive woman.

However, my work on this blog is inspired by social commentary and because I noticed so many horse references, I decided to go with it. I could have painted the Catrall cat fight into the ad, but it was easier to paint a horse face. I'm painting what others are saying because I see gossip as a twisted form of fairy tale and I've taken it upon myself to document and illustrate the mess. I'm not going to be doing it for too much longer, so please bear with me as I finish this project. Thanks for your comment!

xoxo
14

[Jujupiter]

I hate celebrity fragrances too. I love SJP though. And I'd like her to be attacked for her *alleged* catfights with Kim Catrall rather than her *alleged* horse face.