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that entire family is repellent, and Bruce Jenner looks like an ugly woman


And don't forget Madonna's biceps and/or ultra-poppy-veiny hands, either, while you're on the topic of Frankentards. Yikes. This sh*t is completely scary, isn't it?


I am envisioning a line of dolls (or action figures for the boys) of mix and match celebrity body parts to make your own special Frankentard or Frankenceleb (I like how frankentard rolls right off the tongue). The possibilities for fun would be endless!


Charles is nothing less than a magician. Look at those eyes, that expression. He's infused his drawing with wit, self-mockery and a sense of humor - all qualities completely lacking in the original.


hey, for that frankentard--lets not forget rihanna's thick ass cankles!!

i have no comment on kim...she would be a pretty girl if she didn't sound just like wonky hilton...and have a FAKE OVERSTUFFED ASS, of course. that show and that family alone just let me know that the end is near.


These 'celebs' are maybe a year or two older than I am. If this is what I have to do in order to get my name out there, then I guess I'll be gladly wallowing in obscurity for the rest of my life.

The kind of assets I'd like to be recognized for aren't the ones Ms. Kardashian and her crew are showcasing. Thank Christ.


Hey Erik and Vernice - I really DIG that Frankencelebs idea. Frankentards, soon to be on sale at Wal-Mart - just in time for Christmas.


Viper Tetsu

Frazier's drawing is fab. He's turned her into one of Ralph Bakshi's hyper-curvy, bubble-butted lusty wenches--Circa HEAVY TRAFFIC or FRITZ THE CAT, and has therefore rendered her more cool-looking than this tedious bonus-baby chippy deserves.

Quatorze, your text is absolutely hysterical, and thank you DK, Vernice and Erik for making this one of the funniest GOTA comment streams since, well, ever.


Demon Kitty - I agree wholeheartedly with you. Hollywood, the entertainment industry, and the media in general is in a very sad, strange state right now. If I could fix it, I would.

14 - Not sure if I've said this yet, but I love, love, love this place. One of my favorite sites. I really "get" and appreciate what you and your guest artists do. All the best to you!


Oh Erik!
If you're gonna scare me with Dog Parts and Janice bits all I can say is you have to add Crisco Adler's package and Ashlee Simpson's nose (whichever version you prefer)to the mix!
Is Frankentard a word?


Vernice, nicely expanded on!

Let's see, how about Tara Reid's boobs, Janice Dickinson's neck wattle, Dog's (Duane Chapman) crow's feet, maybe one of the Olsen twins for the eyes but Paris' lazy eye thing is nightmare inspiring too.



ooh! sorry, left out:
Nicole's claws, I mean hands!
carry on!


love Erik's idea! So many poshibilities!
Brittany's bikini belly
Paris's eyes and feet
carrot top's eyebrows
the Donald's hair
Posh's arms
Beyonce's legs
Lohan's freckles
Demi's knees
please someone else pick the naughty bits, I don't want to go there!
oh wait! maybe Tyra's vajajay cos it's soooo popular this week!
can we use a brain or would the celebustein body reject it?


1. Make bad porn tape.
2. "Leak" it to the media and intertubes.
2.5. Make sure to be the child of someone already rich and famous.

A formula for success and infamy.

I wonder what would happen if you combined all the over inflated body parts of the celebs into one superstuffed Celebutante? Lisa Rinna's lips, Pam Anderson's boobs, Kim Kardashion's butt, who else?


her ass is just gross


this ad campaign is already quite popular:

I heard Lays (how appropriate) ho-tatoe chips is reusing their old ad:
"Bet you can't eat just one"

and Budweiser is using:
"This Bud's for you!" (if you say it really fast it sounds like
"This Butt's for you")

Though Target is having some copyright issues with the "bullseye" logo as she apparently already has one tatooted.
I had thought it said "insert here!" who knew?


Oh, that's perfect!


Amen, Demon Kitty, amen!

Jane Eyre

My thoughts exactly Demon Kitty.
This bitch and her HUGE ass should
be working in a hospital cleaning toilets and bed pans if her talents *rolls eyes*
were clearly recognized for what that are, nothing.


Are we still fighting a war? Has AIDS been cured yet? It's so hard to stay focused on those silly things when I have inspirational celebutards like Ms. Kardashian to focus my attention, and ass-pirations!, on.

God bless you, Ms. Kardashian and ilk, for helping me stay focused on what truly matters in life.

p.s. I love the glossiness of this work


I'm told that there is a face in this picture, but I just can't see it - the giant ad-space is taking up my screen.

Demon Kitty

You know, when Eonline was advertising for "keeping up with the Kardashians", they had an animated giff of Kim bending over and thrusting out her ass up and down, or back and force in a rhythmic way that made you think she was taking male genitalia (Plural form) in her birth canal or lower intestine or both.

I am no prude by any stretch of the imagination and my mouth is fucking filthy, but goddamnit, this was the trashiest, tackiest, tasteless thing I have seen in a long time - wait what am I saying? I see Crabis and Shitney way too often.

I also saw a preview where Kim, "an honorary Pussy Cat Doll" (definitely something any woman can aspire to) gets her parents a strip pole for their bedroom. Her younger stepsister demonstrates a talent on the pole. Stepdaddy Bruce Jenner is mortified and grabs his daughter saying, "I don't think it is appropriate." No shit Bruce! I wonder if he isn't horrified by his step daughter's behavior and if it affects his marriage. It would mine. How can I respect you if I don't respect your kid? Oh Never mind! Fuck it! Up close, Kim is not pretty. I know that sounds catty, but I don't give a fuck. I am sick of Hollywood illusions.

When was it ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, inspirational to act like a fucking skank and behave as though you had absolutely NO neural activity in your fucking head? When?? When the fuck did this happen? What the hell is wrong with this goddamn planet? Since when did self restraint, composure, sensibilities, intelligence, and discretion become equated with puritanical, prude, getting neutered, sexual repression, and being fucking dull? I am going to blame all this shit on the Bush regime, but I am too tired to go into it.

These bitches leave nothing to the imagination. They don't respect the imagination. I suppose that would mean using your fucking head. Cultivating an sense of mystery is far more exciting thank sticking your tits, ass, and cunt into the camera.


I can't take artistic credit for this gem - it was illustrated by Charles Frazier. I wrote the post though...wooo.


Fairlady Z

Haha, great picture. I am so tired of her big fat posterior. Just another useless do-nothing cele-butt-ante.


This artist is fantastic! Thanks for the link!


I think Jenn F. said it very well.. i have nothing to add, except, again, great work 14!

Jenn F.

So true! She's already selling her ass to the media. She already sold it on that sex tape! She's a celebrity whore. Literally. I mean, what is she famous for, other than her porn and her ass? Nothing. The t.v. show came out only after her porn and her ass became famous. She's such a beautiful girl. What a shame she's a modern-day prostitute.

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