Gallery of the Absurd

White House Mug Shots Deemed "Political Attack Art"

It's no secret that I'm partial to the genre of narrative art, but I was unaware of the genre of "political attack art" until I read the New York Daily News today. Reporting on the White House mug shots currently being shown as part of a printmaking exhibit at the New York Public Library, the newspaper seemed more interested in creating political hysteria than explaining the artistic intent behind the exhibit. Created by artists Nora Ligorano and Marshall Reese as a response in part to "the overreaching powers of the Patriot Act, coupled with the explosion of the internet and monopolization of private media [that] threaten the very fabric and foundations of our country and way of life", the images are generating both outrage and applause. When reporting the "controversy", Fox News (monopolized media) expressed concern that the mug shots might "confuse little kids" who might gaze upon the photos during a field trip and think, "Oh, is that a picture of my president?" Yeah kid, it's a picture of your president. Images from FOX News.

If Francis Bacon Had Painted CoCo

Francis Bacon's (1909-1992) figurative paintings were among the most original, controversial and deliberately disturbing of the 20th century. That's why I'm so fond of his work. His human figures were often greatly distorted, with body parts swirling into swollen fleshy spheres or melding into strange new forms. How astounded would Bacon be if he were to see Coco, Ice-T's exaggeratedly curvy blonde wife, walking past him on the street. Had he been drinking a bit too much of his beloved champange, he might have thought she was a distorted figure who had just stepped out of one of his paintings. Medium: pastel and gouache on board. Much thanks to Basho for reminding me. Happy Birthday Gilmore.

Guest Artist: Charles Frazier Draws Kim Kardashian

Today's guest artist is a comic book illustrator who recently launched a new blog featuring some of his celebrity-inspired caricatures. Kim Kardashian ought to seriously consider the tricks profit she could turn if she started renting her butt out to advertisers. She's always thrusting that perky caboose toward the camera or squating on sidewalks and poking it out at the paparazzi, so why not make a buck or two off it? Several advertising industry concepts may be applied here:

Advertising Page Exposure - a measure of the opportunity for readers to see a particular print advertisement, whether or not they actually look at the ad.
Billboard - An outdoor sign or poster.
Eye Tracking - A research method that determines what part of an advertisement consumers look at by tracking the pattern of their eye movements.
Frequency - The number of times an average person or household is exposed to a media vehicle within a given time frame.
Reach - The estimated number of individuals in the audience of broadcast that is reached at least once during a specific period of time.

Other advertising terms that come to mind are Spread, End-user, Horizontal Discount, Insertion, Puffery and Teaser Campaign. Kim Kardashian's arse is an advertiser's bonanza!

Exquisite Corpse: Pamela Anderson

The collaborative game of Exquisite Corpse was invented by the Surrealists in 1925. In this email version of the game, three participants agree upon a subject to be illustrated. In this case, we chose the lovely Pamela Anderson as our inspiration. Next, each participant is assigned either the head, torso or legs and is given a 1/3 of a page to complete their drawing. None of the artists have any idea what the others are drawing - and this is where the fun comes in. Hiltron of Planet Hiltron was assigned Pammy's head and when he finished his creation, he sent only a glimpse of her neck to Gilmore over at Pretty On The Outside. Once Gilmore finished having his way with Anderson's torso, he sent the tiniest sliver of his drawing over to me so I could get busy on her lower half. The Exquisite Corpse experiment is said to tap into the collective unconsciousness of the participants, and, well, it appears we all tapped into variations of Pamela's fleshy protuberances.

Jack Nicholson: Believe It or Not

I always loved Robert Ripley's cartoon panels documenting stories of the strange and unusual. It's amazing how perfectly the formula works when using the "news" presented in trashy celebrity tabloids and blogs. Medium: ink on paper, digital text.

Guest Artist: Rod Filbrandt

Rod Filbrandt, one of my favorite artists, has realistically captured the reality of reality TV. Sure, there are a few mildly entertaining reality shows on the tube. Take Wife Swap for example. An episode description grabbed from their website reads A primped-and-proper mother who runs a high-end salon for little girls swaps families with a hardworking mother who bottles and sells deer urine with her husband. Set the Tivo! Next episode: A jar of pickles is placed upon a crate of kazoos from China, you won't believe what happens next.

Fabio and George Clooney to Appear on Romance Title

Fabio has a big problem with birds. First he was humiliated and bloodied after a flock of ducks collided with his face as he rode a roller coaster. A few years later, he was attacked by a flying bird again after his date tried to take a picture of George Clooney sitting at a nearby table. I was seduced by the idea of Fabio and Gorgeous George embracing on the cover of one those cheesy romance novels Fabio used to pose for and I was overcome with the burning desire to paint it. Breathlessly, I held my pen and allowed the tantalizing image to pulsate through my body and onto the paper. Swoon. Medium: ink on paper, digital color and collage.

Here's a page torn passionately out of Fabio and George's romance novel Birds of a Feather. Written by Candace Kirby, it will leave you begging for more. 

Stella McCartney Launches The Heather Mills Jewelry Collection

Clothing designer Stella McCartney will seek sweet revenge on her gold digging, one-legged ex-Stepmonster by offering a single-leg pendant as part of her new Heather Mills jewelry collection. It was hard enough to watch her father marry and then divorce the greedy money-grubber, but what finally sent Stella over the edge was Heather's tearful woe-is-me media campaign against Sir Paul. Click here to see the rest of Stella's lovely collection of Heather Mills jewelry, including the Gold Digger Charm and the diamond encrusted Evil She-Devil Pendant. Medium: photoshop goofiness, concept created by Holy Candy, jewelry designed by 14.

What If The Donald and The Dalai Lama Switched Books?

While walking the streets of San Francisco recently, I was assaulted by large posters advertising Donald Trump's new book "THINK BIG AND KICK ASS". Trump appears on the cover in his well-practiced You're Fired pose, his mouth agape while his little paw points menacingly at the viewer. I burst out laughing right there on the sidewalk and soon noticed a nearby store window filled with books written by The Dalai Lama. I began to wonder what might result if The Donald and Tibetan spiritual leader The Dalai Lama were to switch their philosophical approaches toward life.....

His Holiness, the 14th Dalai Lama of Tibet has just released his newest book, Think Big and Kick Ass. Sure to become a number one best-seller, the spiritual leader will teach you how greed and revenge leads one down the true path of happiness.  You'll also learn:

• How not to take crap from people. Fight back, be brutal and win!
• Why you can't be too greedy.
• Material possessions and the relentless acquisition of wealth is the only way to happiness.
• How compassion toward fellow humans will only get in the way of your success.
• Rosie O'Donnell is stupid and her book will never sell as many copies of mine.

Donald Trump's inspiring new book, An Open Heart lovingly teaches the art of using compassion and kindness in everyday life and business. The Donald will explain how a self-centered attitude can be destructive not only towards society, but to the individual as well. You'll learn how accepting responsibility and maintaining respect, compassion and kindness toward others brings peace and happiness. You'll also learn:

• Why the prime purpose in life is to help others.
• How the roots of all goodness lie in the soil of appreciation.
• Why love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries.
• How materialism and consumerism lead to suffering.
• Rosie O'Donnell is a human being whom I love and respect.

 

Medium: fake books are ink on paper with digital color, real books are images snagged off Amazon.

The Mobile Tea Cups of Madagascar

The saponification of the orally administered yellow-spotted hyrax shall diminish domestic ungulates who indulge in too many slurpies from the 7-11. Wild chive foam adorns the soft white belly of the magnificent stratified epidermis when showing sexual displays to the female species of osmotic terrestrial kittens. Permeable symbiotic harmony is tolerated only when cheez whiz and saltines are served upon lilies with exceptional hearing. Light travels in both waves and photons although German cats get in the way of horizontal migrations during the feast of Lent. The exquisite camoflauge of sparkling undulating farm equipment far outweighs that of predatorial chocolate zombies. A bouquet to inhale s-waves manifests dramatic monolouges of thoughtful submersions in tumultuous waves of pleasure. Synesthesia gains tawdry chamber music any time Pandora's box is opened during the passionate bloom of youth. Medium: Ink on antique paper, digital color.