Celebrity Elves: The Olsen Twins

It's time to debut my 2007 Holiday Greeting Card Collection: Celebrity Elves. The Olsen Twin elves are at times, adorable little imps with large lemur-like eyes and messy tangled hair. Draping themselves in blankets, shawls and furs, they are often spotted teetering about the streets of NY wearing impossible shoes and carrying expensive bags twice their size. Most of the time they look harmless, but occasionally you'll catch a photo of them that sends chills down your spine. An icy glare, an unsmiling face, bright, yet empty eyes. If I was riding my bike down a creepy hotel corridor, say The Overlook from The Shining for example, and the twins suddenly appeared in front of me, I'd become gripped by fear.

Comments

[Darcy]

i'm a vegetarian (i do eat seafood though), and i fucking hate PETA. they're awful, they try to manipulate people into becoming vegetarians. it makes me sick. okay rant over. your site IS awesome though. especially the Jeff guy. he's funny. and you're INCREDIBLY talented. i suck at drawing, so i admire you extra! haha. you should caricature-ify more rock stars though. i love Vince Neil and Axl Rose, but the way the look now...haha. PLEASE do them, that would rule.

[Adam Smith]

They tried to stab me,with a Pen Knife made of guilt once.

My response was to go to their house,(a miniature recreation of Versailles,constructed entirely with bottle tops),and run the little Hobbits over with a Steam Roller made of rage.

This internecine warfare of abstract concepts and emotions realised as weapons has gone on for a while,but I think I may have the upper hand now,with my Bio-weapon made from wistful introspection.As long as they don't deploy their Cruise Missile made from ennui I will be victorious.

The sweet agony of war.It is a good thing that it is so terrible,since it is in humanity's heart to be drawn to it like a fearsome mistress.

This explains my absence by the way D.K.

[myself]

I don't understand why people want to make fun of them.. I mean okay so they wear fur, & whatcha gonna do about it ?! & yeah they are skinny but alot of people are so STOP JUDGING THEM!

[midevil]

Demon Kitty,

When we were living up north, there were bears we had to watch out for. They liked to hang out in the landfill. We tried going out there once on a walk to see if the bears would eat us, but one of the supervisors caught us and said we couldn't go past a certain point. We tried, is all I can say to you.

[Demon Kitty]

Dear Fairlady,

I don't know that I have a problem with people getting killed by carnivorous animals.

[Demon Kitty]

Dear 911,

I don't think they kill cows by shoving electrodes up their asses or skinning them alive. That being said, get some compassion. A bullet to the brain is far more humane then what they do to those animals for their fur. The Olsen Twins should eat their bowel movements in public and everyone involved in the fur trade. Little Kim is the latest on my shit list.

[midevil]

I'm a vegetarian--no cow, chicken, fish, sea creatures, etc... Don't know anything about Peta, really. Then again, I don't know much about anything other than if I had to choose between Jimmy Page circa 1976 or Jonathan Davis circa 1996, I'd choose both, really...

[911]

you are all idiots! you people are making a big deal about the olsens sister wearing fur. while your all are wanting a big cheese burgar at A&W!
what's the difference????????

[Demon Kitty]

LOL Viper T! They really do look like the belong in the Village if the Damned!

[Fairlady Z]

Please don't tell me you're supporting PETA. If I were a vegetarian I would still be embarrassed of their hypocritical, high-and-mighty antics. And their whole "Trollsen Twins" crap sounds like something an 8-year old thought up (in typical immature PETA fashion). Do they honestly think they are going to appeal to anyone but their own existing overzealous, misguided army of fools?

If anyone here doesn't support fur then I guess you must also support animals not being killed for food, in which case that means it's your moral obligation to immediately go into the wild, capture every carnivorous animal and train them all to eat vegetables instead of their natural prey. Can't allow any unnecessary "cruelty" (read: reality) on your watch, right? Better get to it.

And here's a video with some fun facts on the extremist, insane organization known as PETA:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l9ijLulwUTY

[Viper Tetsu]

Loving the riff on THE SHINING, but loving the VILLAGE OF THE DAMNED eyes even more. I keep going back to look, alternately laughing uproariously and peeing myself in fright.

Meantime, don't even get me started on PETA. They've done a masterful job of deluding a lot of people with vague soundbites and (customarily clueless) celebrity endorsements, but it's all a smokescreen for a more extremist (and hypocritical) agenda.

http://www.petakillsanimals.com/

http://www.animalscam.com/

OK, off the soapbox now.

[JosiePie]

You've captured their creepy lifeless, wide-eyed gaze, and you've also perfectly captured their individual plastic surgery characteristics, which is what has made them look different. (MK's weir Joker-like mouth and "Trashley's" too-smooth, wax-like nose and fuller, also wax-like lips.) Plus the bunny border to indicate their indifference to animal cruelty. As always, 14, pure genius!

[MyStarbucks]

Wow! Awesome and yet creepy. Although, I guess they always look a bit creepy.

[Rebecca]

I love the Shining inspiration :D

[mellen]

Pffft. LOL. Perfect, sadly. Um, why are they STILL famous?

These girls have more money than God. I know Mary Kate was on "Weeds", but what else do they do?

[Seraphina]

Those girls need to get over themselves. They go around like the world is out to get them. I don't know which, or if it's the both of them, but I noticed how much she/they is/are trying to be Drew Barrymore, it's plain pathetic. They are low self-esteem impersonated, whatever it is they call a life clearly isn't working to their best personal interest. How to build self esteem 101: start from the bottom and build something of your own up. Not what mummy and daddy did, not what tv did, not stealing another's personality, something of *your own*. That's what makes people cool, substance. Oh and by the way, fur? Seriously?..

14 this was brilliant as usual.

[hurleygurlie2388]

LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!

[Eize]

Ever since they were Full House babies, we all called them Trollz. Their tastes ARE questionable, but the PETA attack is quite extreme.

Nice one, 14!

[Demon Kitty]

Anyone who wears fur should be forced to eat their own bowel movements.

[seabiscuit]

They are definately the weirdest anorexics and everyone knows wearing real fur is so cruel. There is such a creep factor to their vacant eyes. Kelly Ripa should have been added next to those trolls...that bobblehead could be their triplet.

[stuck in AL]

Yes, they do deserve this! Thank you for doing it, 14! They are wack! No two ways about it. Now with that said, will you be doing anything with that gross, gold, over-sized ad of Paris? You know the one, the one that they tried to hide her huge hands and feet? Yeah, like that's possible!

[WTF]

14 & PeTA Rock. Fur is disgusting. Sharon Stone should be next.

[derwood]

awww, come on. the olsens don't deserve all this. they are not criminal idiots like unfitney or paris. they were child stars, so a little leeway should be granted. how could you not be f'ed up a bit? and, PETA is a bunch of idiots. look into what they really believe. it's pretty frightening.

[Erik]

They are, without a doubt, the frumpiest 20somethings ever. Both creepy and oddly attractive at the same time. I wonder if they sleep with their eyes open too? Because that could only add to their freak mystique.

Nicely done, 14!

[TheReallyJamesBond]

"Instant Classic!"

[midevil]

Purrr-fect! I can also see them in a Peta ad about how they torture cats for fun on Xmas mourning!

[Vernice]

This was so funny I spit out my shark fin soup!!!!!!!!