Celebrities Who Publicly Declare Themselves Icons: Tori Spelling Edition

I always get a kick out celebrities who publicly declare themselves "icons". Tori Spelling recently informed the public that gay men can't get enough of her and that she's a bonafide "gay icon". Silly me, I thought in order to be considered an icon, people other than yourself were the ones to bestow that sort honor upon you. I asked a few of my gay friends if Tori was their icon. "We like our icons to have talent," sniffed my friend Brad, "so that would be a no." Meow.

Still, it's always amusing (in a pathetic way) to watch any variety of attention-starved actors get up on their soap boxes and blather about themselves so to attract a few crumbs of media attention. Tory took it a step further and also declared herself a MILF. Her shamelessness is impressive, I must say. My hope is that in her next ploy for attention, she'll pull a Paris Hilton and anoint herself the title of American Royalty. I would love an excuse to paint Tori as a Queen. Medium: photoshop composite.

Comments

[dementia13]

MILF? Not "like to", but "could", I guess, but I'd have to be in a real bad place. Judging by that picture, she's already got the paper bag over her head, so that's a plus. I'll bet $20 that your wish comes true, and she declares herself royalty.

[SugarLump]

If that's what lots of Plastic Surgery can do to a face of someone with money (i.e. Tori Spelling), I will make sure to never, ever have any! Yuck!

[Viper Tetsu]

Tori has officially redefined the catch-initials:

MILF= Mutated Insect Lady Fug.

Your icon mirror is, natch, the stuff o' genius. But somethin' about Tori has the commentators on FI-YAH today. DK's 'People of the Chin', Glorious Karl's 'Cheek Pouches filled with grain', and Erik's 'Viagra-resistant ugliness' are my favorites.

[Lisa G.]

MandyPandy – Right you are. Why would anyone take anything Roseanne Barr said with more than a grain of salt? She’s yet another example of the kind of ignorant, doublewide, trailer trash that passes for a celebrity. She’s one of those freakish examples of a “comedian” almost entirely without merit who happened to be in the right place, at the right time, with the right people, and managed to have a very brief period of “TV-Land” relevance.

[Dr. L.]

Roseanne has never been a gay icon. they like their icons to have talent, are beautiful, and openly accept them. Roseanne doesn't qualify.
nd Margaret Cho, I used to think she was gay, but, I don't know, after listening to her routine, I don't think she's anything. Or doesn't know. Probably sexually inactive.
Kathy Griffin just courts the gays so she has an audience base and fans. She's not an icon, she's more of an outspoken supporter.

[MandyPandy]

No 14, Roseanne bar is an enemy to all gays everywhere. Remember those stupid comments she made a little while back on radio:

"Never once in my 54 years have I ever once heard a gay or lesbian person who’s politically active say one thing about anything that was not about them.

They don’t care about minimum wage, they don’t care about any other group other than their own self because you know, some people say being gay and lesbian is a totally narcissistic thing and sometimes I wonder. I’ve never heard any of them say anything except for 'accept me cause I’m gay."

[14]

I know, I know! I should have added Cher and Dame Elizabeth Taylor..what was I thinking?

Please tell me Rosanne Barr is NOT an icon of the gays. Please.

xoxo
14

[glenn maguire]

Is Margaret Cho a gay icon, or just gay?
14, you are a trickster putting Jennifer Love Hewitt and Roseanne at the bottom of the frame. Why 2 bit gay icons? Where's Cher?

[Glorious Karl]

She's smiling because her cheek pouches are packed with grain. Also her nose is asymmetric. You'd think she could find a better cosmetic surgeon. 4-to-1 says her breasts look like toilet plungers.

[Miss Mezza]

Yeah, Paris should be here in a prominent position. Don't you remember her squarking about 'every decade has its iconic blonde, there was Marilyn Monroe and Princess Diana.... and then me' or words to that effect?

[Erik]

She looks like she's ready for mummification. Which would be fine with me because then we wouldn't have to listen to her idiotic yammering. And no, she's not even in the same reality as a MILF. Ewww, my Mr. Pokey has gone into full retreat at just the thought. She's got Viagra resistant ugliness and stupidity.

[Glorious Karl]

Years ago I saw a promotional picture for some show called "90210". As I idly appraised these young and beautiful people my gaze fell across Spelling. Here is the inner dialog that ensued.

Karl's Small Italian Brain: "One of these-a things, it's-a not like-a the others."
Karl: "Durrr"
KSIB: "Karlo? What's-a going on, Karlo?"
[Karl makes the sound of one hand clapping]
KSIB: "Karlo, you must-a do something. It's-a too dissonant this-a thing, it's-a, it's-a..."
[A drop of saliva rousts Karl]
Karl: "... BEAST! WHY IS THERE A BEAST IN THIS PICTURE???"

It was awfully vexing. Some time later I read an article about Papa Spelling and became enlightened.

As an aside, this same article mentioned the fact that Papa Spelling was adding a second present wrapping room to his home. I've spent a good deal of time thinking about that.

[Darkion]

Oops! Apologies to Demon Kitty, that was glenn's Roseanne comment. I blame Tori's hypnotic smile...

[Darkion]

Tori Spelling always puts me in an existentialist mood. Why are we here? Why does she exist?

Note to Demon Kitty: Roseanne Barr? I thought that was Margaret Cho?

[jerkygirl]

Glenn Maguire, I think that's Margaret Cho, not Roseanne. And this is hilarious. Tori S. must be THE most delusional human being (???) in Hollywood, except for Paris and possibly Phoebe Price. Paris will be MIFFED that you didn't iconify her, 14!!!

[DoodleWhore.com]

OMG you must put that mirror into production!

[MandyPandy]

Wait, why isn't Lizzie Taylor up there?

[MandyPandy]

To be fair, Liza Minelli actually IS a gay icon; lord knows she's married enough of them!

[glenn maguire]

Carol Channing is a pretty corpse. (Her smile is actually a death grimace.)
Liza Minelli is Ethel Merman without the looks.( only louder in a discordant rooster sort of way.)
Kathy Griffen has no origonal parts, but is mildly amusing in a rabid dog sort of way. ( At first glance I thought it was Jennifer Love Hewitt, which would have been doubly ironic.)
Roseanne Barr is well past her relevance. Finally Madonna is iconic. Why is she included with this lot? The others make a great case for Tori Spellings self-elevation
into iconism.

[Demon Kitty]

There is too much chin in Hollywood. Has anyone else noticed besides me? Bruce Willis, Rumer, Jay Leno, and fucking Tory.

MILF= Mother I'd Like to Fuck. Pu-Leeez.

This is one mother I don't want to fuck. She is an unfuckable mother.

I can't stop staring at the neanderthal and overgrown chin of hers. Is Hollywood cultivating a new hybrid of humans: the people of the chin? Is Big Chin going to be the equivalent of the plucked medieval hairline so the nobility could have big ass foreheads? So now the hollywood nobility are all going to have big fucking chins.

I bore myself to death right now.