I've saved the most delightfully depraved photos for last. Jeff Polage shamelessly pranced and skipped around the swanky hotel pool while wearing a pink bikini with dark socks as puzzled CAA agents stopped their important pool-side meetings in mid-sentence to gape in bewilderment at the jarring sight.
Jeff easily adopts her lanky, awkward and hurky jerky gesticulations as I shout, "I need you to open your mouth more!"
That Heidi Montag, always sticking her ass up in the air. More photos here.
It's an absolute guarantee that I will laugh every time I see something Jeff has done for your site. Please, don't ever stop.
Posted by: Kelly | July 04, 2008 at 01:17 PM
Ohhh Jeff, what is it with you and women's clothes? ;)
Posted by: Crystal | June 28, 2008 at 08:33 AM
That girl is so boring! She and her blond freaky bf are so gross!
Jeff looks adorable in these pictures. You must have had a lot of fun doing these! It looks like he really cares about you to do whatever you want him to. Sorry, I sound like someone's mother and I just annoyed myself with that last comment.
Posted by: Lucy | June 27, 2008 at 08:51 PM
It's like he BECOMES Heidi.
He captures her essence (stank?) so well I find myself wanting to run him over with my car.
Genius.
(applause)
Posted by: itmustbeken | June 13, 2008 at 10:29 AM
hmmm... jeff's antics do nothing for me..
Posted by: mamasan | June 09, 2008 at 11:37 PM
Laughed so hard, almost gave birth.
Posted by: J | June 07, 2008 at 12:42 AM
I forgot to add that I like the way his nipples are sticking out above the cantalopes. Ramming your ass in and out is the default hollywood pose these days.
Ramming it out when you are on all fours adds a touch of originality.
Posted by: Demon Kitty | June 05, 2008 at 10:06 AM
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!! Jeff and 14 that is utterlly FANTASTIC. U made my day and I keep coming back to look at it whenever I need a laugh. You're the best. Keep doing what you're doing :)
Posted by: galleryabsurdobessed | June 03, 2008 at 08:25 AM
pure gold.
Posted by: Hannah | June 03, 2008 at 12:21 AM
Why is she famous? LOL!
Nice touch with Jeff's boobies. Just like Heidi's, cut two melons in half and put them on the chest, viola! Instant boob job.
Posted by: Chansmom | May 31, 2008 at 03:39 PM
Oh my God THIS IS FUNNY SHIT!!!!
& how much fun was this photo shoot??!!!!
AAAHAHAHAHAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!
PJ ; )
Posted by: Patchouli Julie | May 31, 2008 at 11:15 AM
You should have glued a fake longer chin on Jeff. Then it'd be PERFECT. Heidi has a huge assed chin. She could poke someones eyes out with it.
Posted by: Psychochick | May 30, 2008 at 10:36 PM
OMFG!! I laughed so hard my throat & stomach hurt!!! Jeff should do a pin up calendar!!!!
Posted by: Big D | May 29, 2008 at 01:50 PM
He captured her Black Hole of a Gaping Mouth perfectly!
Posted by: Peta | May 29, 2008 at 11:28 AM
It just shows how STOOPID thos CAA agents are. ONE of them, in a magically unoriginal but shrewd moment, should have had the foresight to scoop up the lovely Jeff in a wild Borat-copying fantasy, and put Jeff in a movie!!!!
I'm thinking:
"Mean girls go Hawaiian"
"Bikini Star Wars"
"The MANtrix"
"The Devil wears a Bannana"
and of course
"Prince Ass Diaries"
Posted by: Vern | May 29, 2008 at 06:17 AM
Jeff, you deserve and oscar.
Posted by: Demon Kitty | May 28, 2008 at 10:36 PM
marry me now.
Posted by: the future Mrs Polage | May 28, 2008 at 07:27 PM
why is it every picture of her, her mouth is WIDE open? as in: open for business. show biz is cruel.
Posted by: Knox Bronson | May 28, 2008 at 03:13 PM
It's about time I thanked you all for your words of pee and snot blowing out from both ends. That's why I was put here on this planet. One day I'll find a way to cash in on this ability?
And a big hello to my fine friend "14".
Love ya all
Jeff
Posted by: Jeff Polage | May 28, 2008 at 02:48 PM
It's not that difficult to tell them apart... Jeff is the attractive one.
Posted by: FrenchGirl | May 28, 2008 at 02:40 PM
I don't even know who this boring bimbo is or why she's "presenting" her unattractive backside in the air for all to examine, but that dude is priceless!!
Posted by: SlumNobility | May 28, 2008 at 12:19 PM
silly.. hot... mess!
Posted by: deanna | May 28, 2008 at 11:08 AM
Comedic gold! As always, your grade: A+++
Posted by: Jen | May 28, 2008 at 10:57 AM
OMG, this is really funny shit. I cannot stand Heidi, Jeff almost makes her tolerable to look at!
Posted by: Jen | May 28, 2008 at 10:21 AM
Jeff has so much potential, much much more than that chick he's impersonating.
Posted by: | May 28, 2008 at 08:44 AM
Priceless!
Posted by: Nicole | May 28, 2008 at 04:38 AM
I'm speachless..
My eyes have never beheld such beauty and personal grace as Jeff.
I ask myself "Shelly, Name one perfect man."
I answer "Jeff."
I shall float on a cloud of pink thong memories today, as 14 has given me the gift of Polage.
God bless you dear.
Posted by: shelly | May 28, 2008 at 04:13 AM
Can I volunteer to give Jeff a back, crack n' sac? I'm strangely attracted to him...
Posted by: frewt | May 28, 2008 at 01:16 AM
The very best thing I have seen all day. Thank you.
Posted by: Sam | May 28, 2008 at 01:08 AM
Great stuff.
Posted by: Dr. L. | May 27, 2008 at 11:58 PM
lol! I'm crying! This makes Heidi look even more staged and idiotic
Posted by: Michelle | May 27, 2008 at 11:28 PM
Holy sh*t!! LOL!!!!!!!!!!! Video! Video!
Jeff won't be unemployed for long! :-D
Posted by: SM | May 27, 2008 at 10:52 PM
This stuff is gold, solid gold! I want more!
Posted by: countmeganstien | May 27, 2008 at 08:14 PM
This is by far the funniest shit you 2 have ever done. You did this shit in public? I would pay, fucking pay to see the look on people's faces. I love it when people start laughing at their own Monkey Business! The 2nd picture is classic. The 3rd picture is fucking hilarious. What the hell is wrong with her damn mouth? Has she had a frontal lobotomy? I love the cantaloups in his bikini. They really do look like Hollywood tits.
Posted by: Demon Kitty | May 27, 2008 at 07:00 PM
Oh it feels like I've been away for so long! But now I get to have fun catching up... THIS was the perfect thing to return to ~ nicely done. Jeff actually looks more natural than Heidi does. I mean... they've both got fake hair, fake boobs, and hideously loud bikinis... but Jeff's got the ability to make people smile and want more; unlike Heidi, who makes us wish she'd just go away.
Posted by: Jenn F. | May 27, 2008 at 05:18 PM
i humbly request that you start making "the making of" videos ... oh my god ... i wish i could have watched this particular shoot ... thank you 14 & Jeff!
Posted by: Knox Bronson | May 27, 2008 at 04:34 PM
Jeff for the President! :) 14 - You're both geniuses! :)
Posted by: Meg | May 27, 2008 at 03:41 PM
Oh GOD I peed myself laughing!
Posted by: Charlene | May 27, 2008 at 02:42 PM