Scandal Erupts After Actor Poses Topless On Cover of Glossy Magazine

Jeff Polage has issued an apology to his fans for his racy photos in Insanity Fair magazine. "I was like, forced by Annie Leibovitz to pose this skanky way and now I am like, so embarrassed. She like, assured me that my back hair wouldn't show up in the photo, but you can totally see it," said the unemployed actor. "My career is over thanks to Annie and her manipulative web of lies and deceit!"

Comments

[CPTWilly]

Ha. Haha. Hahahahahahahahahaha, hahahahahahahahaha. Oh, that's funny.

Jeff does not disappoint. That picture offers the best of both worlds.

Rotten Annie Leibovitz! How does she do it???

[A~nnelies]

YES JEFF!! Finally!

[Demon Kitty]

The man deserves a fucking Oscar. Can he be my brother as well?

Every woman at this blog needs to wipe the drool off her computer.

Female horniness is always amusing.

[14]

Ladies:

JEFF RECENTLY BECAME SINGLE

Just so you know.

Demon Kitty: You had asked how I met Jeff. I used to live in an old building loft in Seattle. An independent film crew used it as a location and Jeff was one of the actors they brought over. Later, we threw a party and Jeff and I went to the store to get some snacks to serve and the first thing he grabbed was stink-to-high-heavens Limburger cheese to sneak in with the other cheeses. I looked in his eyes and saw a fellow prankster. We've been pals ever since. Jeff is more than a friend, he's the brother I never had.

little K: I'm sorry you don't like when I use Jeff as my art medium, but I have such a great time with him and he makes me laugh so hard...that you'll just have to suffer through it. I know Jeff isn't everyone's cup o tea, but please just bear with us.

xoxo
14

[deanna]

hell yeah shelly!! are you ok with being wifey #2? just so you know i don't do dishes, laundry, dusting, any variation of house or yardwork, cooking, child bearing etc. now that we've cleared that up i guess i could go along with the J.PO, J diddy, J diggity Church of Common Idiots.

I sure would love to see him do the Lohan Leggins myself, or good word... Winehouse, some Sharon Stone, bai ling.. the stupidity is limitless.

[jerkygirl]

That was like, a much more beautiful shot than the original, and I need MUCH more J. Po in my life. Thanx for the myspace address, Demon Kitty!!!

[jerkygirl]

That was like, a much more beautiful shot than the original, and I need MUCH more J. Po in my life. Thanx for the myspace address, Demon Kitty!!!

[jerkygirl]

That was like, a much more beautiful shot than the original, and I need MUCH more J. Po in my life. Thanx for the myspace address, Demon Kitty!!!

[Internet Marketing Badger]

Yes, that Annie Liebowitz really is a pushy one - forcing young girls to pose for her in major magazines. Poor Jeff!

Loved the expression in the photo - too hilarious!

Jennifer the "Internet Marketing Badger"

[kenya at studio 41]

i too love your artwork. but the work you and Jeff are doing is an utterly perfect reflection back to hollywood.

brill
iant!

[Madeleine]

Hahaha, I loved it! And wow the word "like" got used like so many times.. like.

[shelly]

Thank you Deanna!
You and I both know this is a whole lotta man ,and far too much for one woman. We could start one of those unibrow polygamist cults featuring Jeff as our big nastey daddy/main sperm provider!
The Polage Compound.
He could be a different man every night!!
We'd live on Government cheese and home made bread sandwiches. Jeff could lay around whilest we woman do the farming, laundry and carpentery.
I'm sorry, Shelly's just dreaming outloud again..
And DK, isn't he great?
I knew you'd see it eventually.....
I love you Jeff Polage.
Shelly.

[sugarbear]

Can we expect to see Jeff in some Lohan leggings soon looking drunk and over tanned but with a water bottle to show sobriety?

[Demon Kitty]

By the way 14, you need to tell us how you and Jeff became friends.

[Demon Kitty]

It's amusing as fuck to see that Jeff Polage has set everyone's loins on fire. For all you drooling females, here is Jeff's myspace page and yes, I think his lips are real.

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=237002880

That being said, I want Jeff to do the Calvin Klein pose that Miley did with her father. Jeff could also be Billy Ray as well. You guys could photoshopt all that, I am sure of it.

Jeff is doing more than public service, he is making humanity a far better place. I really don't know what the fuck I am talking about.

[Parker Worth]

I was wondering when Jeff would skyrocket to fame. The wait is over. This role makes him a sexy superstar. It was made for him. Hurrah 14 for helping him find his path.

[Cyclops Kitten Natividad]

I have met Mr. Polage and I don't recall his lips being quite so...lush. Has he had "treatments"? (Photoshop or otherwise).

Whatever, his lips are disturbingly sexy. I wonder if there's a woman in Texas who carries a picture of them around in her wallet, just like Jemaine Clement's fan?

[Knox Bronson]

14, there is a line in public discourse that should not be crossed. You and Mr. Polage have crossed it.

And I can't stop laughing.

Beautiful! I was wondering when more pics from your recent journey south might surface.

Thanks for elevating my spirits (I was already in a pretty good mood). :)

[deanna]

Dear Future Mrs. Jeff Polage i.e Shelly,

I thought I should tell you up front I intend to be his mistress, you know, give it to him on the side then hence, when i'm done, i'll send him, his hair, and his filthy dirty draws home to you. lol
If only he didn't make me spit my beverage all over my computer screen I would be his baby mamma but that's neither here nor there(with childsupport of course).
I gotta say Jeff has got that disney, who me, did I show my bra, breast, ass to the world look down cold... so fierce.

[Erik]

Jeff kicks celebrity booty! I'd love to see him do some Simpsons (heck, he could do Jessica, Ashleeeeeee and Papa Joe!). Or maybe some Hulk Hogan? Or Teh Donald!

[Adam Smith.]

that_girl Wrote:

"If you were hot, I'd date you."

Fucking hell.

Talk about damning with faint praise.

If I'm getting your intent correctly here,what you're basically saying is,"You're funny and I'd fuck you,if there was some sort of quirky looking personality into generic hunk operation that could be performed on you,bringing you up to my exacting standards."

A tad harsh when viewed from that perspective don't you think?

Don't you worry Jeff,speaking as a straight man,I can safely state that the addition of a wig,(particularly a honey blonde one,you minx),gives you an odd feminine allure that gets me all the time.It's a bit like when Bugs Bunny used to dress up as a woman.

Smoking hot.

you can totally tell he's naked under there!

[Cassie]

I actually LAUGHED OUT LOUD!!!! Great!

[that_girl]

Jeff, I'll never stop being your fsn. If you were hot, I'd date you.

[shelly]

Dear little k,
Here is a box.
You may pack your personal belongings and leave your badge at the door.
Sincerly,
MRS. Jeff Polage

[little k]

Yawn. I like your artwork much, much better than this Jeff stuff.

[midevil]

That is the best, 14! Wow!

[Centurian]

Perfect!

[shelly]

Goddamn it, thats it...

JEFF POLAGE:
WILL YOU MARRY ME?
I love you.
Shelly