Introducing the Long Awaited Celebrity Baby Names Book

Celebrities are well-known for gracing their babies with highly unusual and potentially embarrassing names. According to the New York Times, "If celebrities are the new American aristocracy, the exotic baby name can sometimes function as the equivalent of a royal title, a way for a privileged caste to bestow the power of its legacy on future generations." You've probably wondered how our American aristocracy dreams up such memorable monikers as Pilot Inspektor or Moxie Crimefighter - but wonder no more! The Celebrity Baby Names book is now available to the masses. No longer must you name your baby with such common, downright proletariat names such as Steven or Ashley. Give your babies titles of royalty! Glistening Reptile or Cerulean Cosmonaut are names you can be proud of as you bestow your legacy of power upon future generations. Medium: ink on paper, digital color, photoshop.

The book is so easy to use, even a monkey could do it! Just open to a random page, close your eyes and point! Over 100,000 names to choose from. Medium: photoshop illustration. 

Comments

[Celebrity Baby Buzz]

Great post ... I will never understand the allure of the "crazy name craziness" epidemic sweeping the vaulted halls of Celebridom.

[baby names person]

lol....the heights of so called "uniqueness" and "originality" that people go to for baby names.... astounding!

[chanti]

hen my preteen daughter found out a few months ago that someone named their child Apple she was so amazed/upset that she and her friends started making up odd names for their future kids. Her latest favorite for a girl is Lot

[chanti]

I don't think all this flap would be flapping if Angelina had chosen to bear X number of children from her own body rather than adopt them. Yet somehow it's indicative of a pathological mindset that she wants to adopt from around the world.

2) Can't add a word to the observations others have made about international adoptions vs. domestic. Even if the potential adoptive parents WANT to adopt outside of their race, they're often kept from doing so because it's not viewed as being in the child's best interests.

3) So far Angelina seems to be a competent parent. As someone else said, the worst thing the tabloids can find to say about her is that she's adopting again. Not that any of these children are being mistreated or "collected."

4) 14's illo is very funny in the context of the tabloid headlines, which is exactly how I think it's meant.

I guess that was more than a couple...

[Jessi]

Penn Gillette of Penn and Teller named his daughter Moxie Crimefighter

[Nell]

Ah, serendipity... my twin niece/nephew due next week and the publication of the Celebrity Baby Names bible. Pom Pom Poofy and Linoleum Pumpkin, welcome to the world!!!

[cee]

LOL to Pliant Rhetoric! Hilarious, 14.

[Raimundo]

T.F.Much
You make me laugh until I cry and/or wet my pants.

Q: Do you like Kipling?
A: I don't know; I've never Kippled.

Btw,who was the LSD soaked Nudnik that actually named their kid Moxie Crimefighter?
Isn't that child abuse?

[R.K.]

Don't forget Miller Lyte McConaughey, Michael 'Rooster' McConaughey's son (named after his favorite beer) and Matthew McConaughey's nephew. At least Matthew gave his son a decent name, Levi.

[MamaSarah]

My favorite is Meandering Sponge. Hilarious.

[The Mayor]

I will be naming my child Lorem Ipsum.

[liane]

When my preteen daughter found out a few months ago that someone named their child Apple she was so amazed/upset that she and her friends started making up odd names for their future kids. Her latest favorite for a girl is Lotion.

[BlackbeltBetty]

Great work as always, 14.

Remember the actress Shannon Sossamon? She named her child Audio Science Clayton!

Crazy never looked so beautiful.

[Kipling]

I'm all for "unique" names (and yes, Kipling is my real name), I just hate the trendy and the stupidly spelled. Unique names are unique as long as there aren't 3 million other people of your general age named the EXACT SAME THING.
At least the plague of Dylans and Hunters seems to have died back a little, but there's no excuse for naming spawn Dallas, Riley or Jackson.

I don't think 'Suri' is such a bad name. It's uncommon, but it's pretty and sounds nice when you say it as opposed to 'Bluebell Madonna.'

[CPTWilly]

Hilarious 14, as usual.

I joke with my wife that she would name a girl "Brie Chardonnay" (French meaning "would you like some wine with your cheese?").

When she was pregnant with my son, I used to tell people we were naming him Zenith or Sony, but that was just to get them to shut up and keep their baby name opinions to themselves.

His name by the way, Nathaniel.

[Ruby]

Well at least Britney Spears named her kids normal names. Sean and Jayden.

[Chaos by Design]

How the masses have been waiting for this, could be your ticket to the millions you deserve. And quite canney that even befor you posted your open page people had started calling me Lust Bucket

xoxox
L
L

[Darcy]

i LOVE unusual names, but there is a line. 'pilot inspektor'. seriously? anyway. this is hilarious!!

[Knox Bronson]

oh ... i see you had dweezil in there ... very good!

[Knox Bronson]

Frank Zappa was such an asshole he named his children Dweezil and Moon Unit. I think he hold first place for insipid child names. I mean, how selfish can you get?
Enough about Frank.
Magnificent, 14 ... laughed my ass off ... you are such a great writer and name-maker-upper as well as artist, you know.
went straight from obama's speech to GOTA ... so this is a good evening all around.
thank you darling. xxo knox

[Demon Kitty]

Trillian, I looked at your blog and swooned.

[Demon Kitty]

Well, the Gavin/Gwen power couple named their offspring Zuma - I guess like Montazuma (forgive my bad spelling - too lazy to look it up)- ruler,leader, king - like Kingston? Does Gavin, former lover of transvestite Marilyn, want to turn his sons into alpha males and/or butch queens? Zuma sounds like a brand name for condoms. Apple, sounds ridiculous cause it isn't lexicalized like Olive or Cherry. Furthermore, it came out the mouth of a celebrity, so we must make fun of it. Really, we must. What if I named my kid banana or cucumber? I would be ridiculed for that, not to mention my kid. I did name my cat Ice Cream, but she doesn't have to spend time in the school yard.

Lubby Crunker and Borie Spangles are my favorite. Fucking funny as shit!!!!!!!!!!!!

Trillian, your name kicks ass. It's sooo sexy.

[Exyank]

I dunno, I'm not bothered by the name Apple. Honestly, is it any worse than Olive?

[Erik]

My favorite thing about child names is its an unfettered peek into the sheer lunacy that most of these people live in all the time. Gwen Paltrow naming her daughter Apple pretty much cemented my belief that she's an absolute moron. Unusual is good, creative names can be cool but maybe consult a third party before saddling your offspring with a name destined to get their butt kicked everyday.

[Jenn F.]

There's nothing wrong with the name Trillian, or something like (much as I hate to admit it) Suri... they're both unusual but nice names. There's nothing wrong with being unusual... in fact I'd prefer it over being boring. But "Pilot Inspektor"? What the f**k? The problem, as I see it, is that these people are bestowing a bizarre name upon someone who has no choice or say in the matter. "They can change it when they grow up" they might say. Yes, after years of ridicule and humiliation. Why do these people not change their OWN name to something bizarre, instead of giving a whacked-out name to their innocent offspring?

[Trillian]

I prefer interesting names to whacked out spellings of average names. I would rather meet a Zuma than a Brytnee. I don't get what the strong aversion is. What is the difference between naming your kid after something edible and a month?

And yes, Trillian is my real name. I love it.

[DEAF FEMINIST PUNK!!!]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. your brilliance always amazes me.