If Pablo Picasso Had Painted Paris Hilton

A reader sent me THIS photo of Paris Hilton tongue kissing yet another unfortunate victim caught in her talons under the darkness of night.  Upon first glance, it wasn't Paris Hilton I saw, it was the horse figure straight out of Picasso's Guernica.   Her exaggerated outstretched tongue and the way her hands hold the man in some sort of death grip seemed so calculated. She knew the paparazzi was snapping away at her and she knew the photo would make the rounds on the internet and that people would react to it. So yeah, I reacted to it. Medium: ink on paper, much thanks to Urban Rabbit and Krista. My sincere apologies to Picasso.

 

Comments

[Charles]

brilliant

[christian]

ol"blue ointment for the crabs dissapointment use it 4 a night and a day,oh it burns an it itches,but it kills them sons of bitches in that good old fashioned way.

some body just quoted this earlier. what is it and where is it from, if you know can u please email me
christiancollis@msn.com

[Noelegy]

I [heart] "Guernica" references.

[sh4dow]

"Revealing she had sex with only two men in her life"

well, if it's true that proves that she is really as stupid as one might think she is.

@ artist: outstanding picture, think i might have to bookmark your website :)

[sweet subversion]

Man, I thought I commented on this.

Your Paris parodies never ever get old.

I wish she'd make another sex tape though!!

[FJL]

"For me there are only two types of women:
goddesses and doormats."
- Pablo Picasso

"I've only done it with, like, a couple of boyfriends. People think I sleep with everyone, but I'm not like that. I like kissing, but that's all I do. I'm not having sex for a year, I've decided. I'll kiss but nothing else."
- Paris Hilton
Revealing she had sex with only two men in her life, GQ magazine, August 2006

[Peta]

I'm slow. I saw the claw poking out of her nethers and thought that it wasn't Crabby; rather, her genitals had mutated into a ravenous alien predator hell-bent on snatching (no pun intended) any rich and available male that came too close.

Excellent re-imagining of Picasso's "Guernica". I think he'd be impressed if not dead from laughing his ass off at the subject matter.

[FJL]

"Success is dangerous. One begins to copy oneself, and to copy oneself is more dangerous than to copy others. It leads to sterility."

Pablo Picasso

[Knox Bronson]

your greatest work ... well, along with several others. really good, 14. Picasso would be laughing his ass off I am certain.

[Bionic Squirrel]

Oooooh where do I find dat waaaaabbit...

Whaaaaat would you want with a waaaaabbit? Caaaan't you tell that I'm much sweeter... IIIII'm yer little senioriter... yoooooouuu are my type of guuuuyyy... let me straighten your tiiiie ~ and I will dance for you.

[Viper Tetsu]

In some wonderful alternate universe, all those scruffy working stiffs at Warner Brothers' Termite Terrace are still around today, riffing on modern celebs with their knockabout rapier wit.

And in the corner of the animation studio there's a skirt, scribbling away--Some brunette. "What the Hell IS THIS?! A damn powder room?" their producer Leon Schlessinger lisps.

She's banging out a faux-Picasso parody. And none of the animators are listening to Schlessinger rant. They're too busy laughing. "Shut up, Leon," Chuck Jones says to the producer, wiping tears away between chuckles.

Which is a long-winded way of saying: This damn thing made me laugh as hard as The Rabbit of Saville (still the greatest cartoon short ever filmed). And that, dear Quatorze is a compliment of the highest magnitude.

[14]

Thanks everyone!

xoxo
14

[Vern]

Dear Frank,
Guilty as charged! Fredrik seems so sweet and innocent I can't resist banding his wagon.
If I'm awake enough when commenting, I always prefer to be naughty.
Peace and Applesauce,
Vern

[Majka]

I've already told you before, but I can repeat it a hundred times again - YOU'RE A GENIUS!!!

absolutely love your interpretations.

[Frank]

Dear Vern, Vernita, Vernalita, whatever.

You rascal you!

How was I to know you were riding on Fredrik's bandwagon???

WHERE YOU???

For a moment I thought this message board had been taken over by tweens with ADD.

In these circumstances, it is imperative to be direct when writing, subtlety is lost without the other's tone and expression to gage by.

CIAO!!!

[Lorraine]

Beautiful. I would order a print of this.

[Vern]

I see subtlety is lost on you, Frank.
XOXOX
Vernalita

[Idlewild]

Lol 'til my sides hurt,,, If I were Crabbie, I would wave for help too. Way too funny

[frank]

Greetings Fourteen 14,

just wondering if the Hilton/Guernica idea came to you while enjoying the seafood platter at:

PICASSO CRABBY CRAB
Category: Korean, Seafood
Neighborhood: Koreatown
3280 W 6th St
Los Angeles, CA 90020

This is for poor Fredrik and Vernita who only had to click on the 'About the Artist' link to read that...........

Q. Are you a girl?
A. I do seem to be a girl. Hold on, let me check.....yep, I'm a girl.

.........and this additional info is for the pure of heart:

Crabs
A tiny bug like creature that will infiltrate the pubis maximus, and lead you to isle 3 at the local pharmacy for some blue ointment.

"Use the 'ol' blue ointment for the crabs disappointment, use it 4 a night and a day, oh it burns an it itches, but it kills them sons of bitches in that good old fashioned way."
(From Urban Dictionary.com)

That leads me to ask, 'Was cubism really a result of Picasso's migraines?' OR did he have crabs, was very familiar with the 'ol' blue ointment and later influenced his 'BLUE PERIOD'.

The Blue Period of Picasso (Spanish: Periodo Azul) is the period between 1900 and 1904, when he painted essentially monochromatic paintings. These somber works, inspired by Spain but painted in Paris, are now some of his most popular works, although he had difficulty selling them at the time.

Now if only 'PINK' wasn't Paris favourite colour...the coincidences would be mind blowing.

[Christie]

Please offer this one as a print!

[Jenn F.]

Poor Crabbie, waving for help.

Love it.

[vern]

Dear Sir,
Just Brilliant, as always!
Yours, forever and a day,
Vernita

[midi]

Crabism! That's great!

[ama]

OMG. I just about died laughing when I saw how you represented her, um, crab cave. This is brilliant and hilarious, as usual :D

14, you are my favorite person on the planet!

[Dreamer]

Yo are so creative haha.

[milo]

I love it
Keep the good work, 14!

Milo

[The Mave]

This is a wonderful work! Only critique is the feets is too small.

[Feng]

Lovely.

[Daniela]

so spot on! you rock!

[Ynale]

While it's the best reaction to the pic, I'm sure Paris is stamping her large foot (and thereby causing another earthquake) and pouting in anger over it.

Which means: KEEP IT UP 14! :3

[Red]

"Crabism" LOL! ROFLMAO!!! Brilliant Belle!

14, you're my hero.

[b]

absolutely brilliant

[Fredrik]

Dear Sir,

Just brilliant, as always!

Yours,
Fredrik

[Belle]

The end of Cubism as we know it? Possibly. Or maybe the beginning of a new art form..."Crabism".

[cjr]

Damn that's awesome. I love your stuff. By the way, your link to the original photo is missing the leading "h".