Gallery of the Absurd

Guest Artist: The Blustering Fool That is Kanye West

Many of my readers have urged me to take on Kanye West, but I'm busy prepping for an upcoming art show opening in 2 weeks and as much as I'd like to sink my fangs into Kanye, I don't have the time.  It's okay, plenty of other people are addressing him, including President Obama!  Such a convenient bread and circuses distraction, but I digress.  Here's a Kanye West illustration for a t-shirt sent to me by a reader this morning. He goes by the name of ogfx and enjoys finding inspiration lurking in the pages of Dlisted. Thanks ogfx!  

African Villages Ward Off Orphan-Obsessed Celebrities

Fed up with status-seeking American celebrities raiding their orphanages for trendy accessories, several African villages have created wooden tribal masks and figurines to ward off future intrusions.  Each mask is exquisitely hand-carved in the likeness of Madonna and Angelina Jolie and hung menacingly outside village orphanages. It is claimed the masks impart so much blood-curdling fear, orphan-seeking celebrities avoid entrance.  Local villagers have recognized the power of the masks and it's not uncommon to see them displayed at the entrance of their dwellings to ward off marauding rivals and evil spirits. Even tourists are snapping them up.

A local shaman who does not want to be named claimed he had visions of Baby Snatchers during an iboga-fueled vision quest ceremony several years ago. "I saw a gap-toothed monster, with great shining eyes and hair of gold. It's arms were outstretched, veins protruding like the branches of a Baobab tree, with a curious yarn, colored scarlet like blood, tied around only one arm. I awoke with a gasp, grabbed the first piece of wood I found, and began carving the prophetic image Iboga gave to me!" Medium: ink and graphite on paper, digital color.